What to write to a boy to start a conversation. How to start a conversation with a guy

You have met the ideal young man you have been waiting for all these years. And it seems that he is also not indifferent to you. However, during personal contacts or when communicating on social networks, you do not find the right words or topics for conversation. The result is awkward pauses, moments of silence, and lack of confidence in your own communication abilities.

Young ladies communicate with men differently. Some girls easily find common topics, others are lost, not understanding what to talk about with a guy.

Of course, you will be very lucky if a man takes the initiative in a conversation, finds non-trivial topics for discussion, wanting to amaze you with his erudition and intelligence. However, this happens quite rarely, so finding the right phrases and the right words is sometimes quite difficult.

Guys can also be shy, so girls have to take the initiative in their own hands and start the conversation first. Moreover, there are certain points of contact that help establish constructive communication. So, what topics can you talk about with a guy:

1. Hobby:
   • How does a young man spend his free time?
   • What kind of sport (for example) is he interested in?
   • What do you prefer to do (maybe you have a lot in common)
2. Culinary theme:
   • What foods does he like?
   • Can he cook or does he prefer a woman to cook?
   • Tell us about your culinary talents.
3. Future plans:
   • What success does he want to achieve?
   • What prevents him or, on the contrary, helps him achieve his goals?
4. Books and films, including new releases:
   • Favorite actors or actresses.
   • Favorite book as a child?
   • Tell us about your favorite literary characters.
   • What movie did he last go to the cinema to see?
5. Pets:
   • Does he keep any pets at home?
   • Funny incidents with pets.
   • What breed of cat or dog would he like to have in the future?

However, there are also certain taboos - topics that are best not touched upon when talking with a young man you don’t know well. Such prohibited (undesirable) aspects of life include:

• health problems;
• gossip;
• own failure in studies, relationships with the opposite sex;
• other people's mistakes;
• details of sex life.

It's quite easy to start a conversation, but then it can stall as the list of questions for each other becomes exhausted over time. Feel free to use the above topics to talk to a man and don’t worry if you don’t know much about them.

You will definitely find the topic that interests the young man most and about which he loves to talk for hours. And you just have to keep the conversation going.

Finding the ideal topics for communication during your first meetings is not very difficult if you are sincerely interested in the personality of the young man and have a certain level of erudition. Moreover, there are several rules, following which, you can turn the conversation into an exciting conversation.

Rule #1. Talk about topics that are interesting to both you and the young person

Many people say that communication should revolve only around a man, but you are unlikely to be delighted with such a conversation. No young lady can stand a three-hour speech about the differences in spark plugs.

The conversation should interest all meeting participants. Such “universal” interest will lead to the fact that both you and the young man will want to meet again in order to continue acquaintance and communicate further.

Rule No. 2. Keep it intriguing

It is certainly necessary to talk about yourself. However, many experts still advise avoiding complete “disclosure of cards.” Men value a certain mystery and understatement in girls. Therefore, limit yourself to a minimum of information about yourself, turning the conversation (of course, delicately) to his person.

Rule No. 3. Know how to listen

The ability to listen is an extremely necessary quality to maintain a conversation. This rule consists of several points, the implementation of which will help you create the image of a thoughtful listener and an understanding person:

• insert your own comments during the conversation (“what happened next?”, “very, very interesting”), this will help smooth out hitches and pauses;
• remember information with which you will not only get to know the young man better, but also choose a topic for conversation on your next date;
• do not interrupt a man when he says something about himself, even if this aspect of his personality is not interesting to you;
• do not criticize the guy’s hobbies and do not express categorical judgments, otherwise you risk being misunderstood or getting into an awkward position.

Modern technologies significantly expand human communication capabilities. Now you can chat with a handsome young man not only on a date, but also on VK, Skype, or any popular messenger.

It’s better to start communicating online with a guy in a non-standard way. Starting a correspondence with the words “how are you”, “what are you doing” is now too outdated. Besides, there is little point in asking such questions to a young man you don’t know.

In the online world, being the first to start a conversation is much easier than in real life. All a girl needs to do is wink and puzzle the guy with some original phrase. Before corresponding on VK, study the page of a handsome young man in more detail, after which you will make an approximate list of common interests or refuse communication altogether.

There are some win-win topics that you can discuss with a man on VK in correspondence. So, what can you talk about with a guy on the Internet:

1. Today there are many films coming out of various genres, level of acting. Discuss the plot, actors, interesting facts, and clarify your personal impressions in correspondence. During the discussion, you can also find out what type of girls the guy prefers.
2. Music is another “bottomless” topic for discussion, even if your tastes are practically the same. Once you start corresponding, you will discover new musical genres, performers, and learn many unusual facts and points of view about singers you might think are familiar to you.
3. When communicating on the Internet, on the social network VK, it is extremely convenient to talk about tourism and travel, since you can show photos of the places you have visited. A young man can send pictures of sights that you have not seen yet.
4. By the way, you can start communicating with a story about your childhood and teenage years, which will be decorated with various funny photographs, interesting stories, links to the pages of old friends who were participants in the situation described.

You can start a conversation with a young man on the Internet with more abstract topics. For example, in a correspondence on VK you can chat about the sights of the city where the guy lives (if he lives in another place), about the weather and the latest cultural news, technological innovations.

If a guy on VK is weak in making contact, the results of the correspondence do not satisfy you, try telling the man about something unusual. Or give him a compliment (avoid rude flattery), ask for advice, for example, what to do with a broken computer.

It’s interesting that many modern couples get to know each other on social networks. At the moment, communicating on the Internet is the easiest way to find a guy or girl. It is important not to be shy about texting, following the rules of communication, and in this case you will be able to have a useful conversation with the guy you like.

In addition, the beauty of correspondence on VK and other social networks and instant messengers is that during communication you can illustrate what was said with a suitable video clip, music track or photograph.

If, while talking with a man on the Internet, you realize that you like this person, you should not delay the real meeting.

In most cases, the main purpose of communicating on social networks (especially on a dating site) is the desire to meet your soulmate.

We only talked about general recommendations for communicating with a man on dates or on social networks. Don’t forget that you are a bright individual, so study all the methods, rules of communication and find the method that suits you personally.

In addition, a girl with a sense of humor, tact and a positive outlook on life will find it easy. Therefore, expand your circle of acquaintances and do not hesitate to communicate with the man you like.

Corresponding with a person you like requires compliance with certain rules of psychology. After all, from the very first lines that a girl addresses to the guy or man she likes, her character and desires will begin to reveal themselves. Therefore, it is very important to stick to interesting topics that will resonate with the soul of the person on the other side of the monitor. Avoid dangerous and harsh phrases, because they can alienate a guy, and he will not want to communicate with an overly emotional and aggressive girl. The most important thing is to interest the guy, engaging him every day in a lively, relaxed dialogue, which the interlocutor will look forward to.

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Where to begin?

Before you start an online dialogue with a guy, you need to carefully study his page on a social network. Look at the topics that interest him, the groups in which the future pen pal is a member, carefully study the circle of his friends and their interests.

It is best to “mirror” the page of your future counterpart a little: if a man is interested in cars, put several photos of beautiful cars on your page. If he cares about pets, it is appropriate to publish a photo of cute four-legged pets. But you shouldn’t completely copy the guy’s page - it will look strange.

You can start a conversation with a friend request and a small pleasant compliment in the first message. The words: “You have a beautiful smile” will appeal to any man and help attract him. If you don’t want to start your acquaintance with such words, you can turn to your interlocutor with a small request: after seeing his photographs abroad, ask the young man to tell about the trip, find out more about the places he visited. Don't forget to put emoticons - this will create a certain mood and help maintain the conversation, showing your friendliness and interest.

Compliments to a man

Correspondence rules

By following a few simple rules of correspondence, you will be able to communicate correctly and maintain the guy’s interest for a long time:

1. 1. Politeness. When communicating, be extremely correct and polite. You shouldn’t write angry and rude phrases, splashing out your mood on a man, even if today is not a good day at all. The interlocutor will think that rudeness and intemperance are your normal state, and the correspondence will end before it even begins.
2. 2. Common interests. Having carefully studied the guy’s page, you will already be aware of his hobbies. Therefore, the first topics of conversation after general phrases can be devoted to issues of interest to the young man. If a man loves hiking, you should ask about his travels, ask questions, and ask for advice. The guy will be happy to talk about his hobby, revealing himself and his character. With sincere interest in his hobby, you will be able to hook your interlocutor and entice him. Don’t forget to tell us something interesting about yourself and your favorite business.
3. 3. Literacy. You need to conduct correspondence competently, trying to avoid mistakes. An illiterate letter repels a person and makes one think that on the other side of the monitor there is a completely uneducated and stupid girl.
4. 4. Sense of humor. A guy will be very pleased to communicate with a girl with a good sense of humor. Therefore, good jokes are quite appropriate during the dialogue. But here it is worth observing moderation: in no case should you make fun of a young man - this will lead to resentment and quarrel.
5. 5. Honesty. You cannot start a dialogue with a man with deception, even the smallest one, or lie to him throughout the entire correspondence. Sooner or later the lie will be revealed, and you will never gain the trust of your interlocutor.

Try to behave appropriately in any situation. Don’t be annoyed if your counterpart disappears from online communication for a while or doesn’t respond on time. Remember that your pen pal is a person just like you, with his own problems and concerns.

What will repel

Human communication is a fragile thing, especially if the interlocutor knows you exclusively through correspondence. Therefore, when starting to correspond with a guy, it is worth remembering what will quickly cool a man off from communicating with you.

We are all different, and if someone’s communication with the opposite sex goes “with a bang,” then for others, squeezing out even a basic “hello” becomes an insurmountable problem. Increased shyness and tightness can be characteristic of both men and women of different age categories. But today we will talk about youth, boys and girls. Or more precisely, about how to start a conversation with a guy for a girl who is not bold and relaxed.

For example, you are seeing a guy for the first time, but something tells you: this person can change your life for the better. Assess the situation and act creatively. You will be afraid, embarrassed, and complex later, after. And now - imbued with one thought: “If we don’t get to know each other, I won’t speak - he will disappear in the crowd, and we will never see each other again!” You don’t need a better motivation for your further actions, dear lady! And then - depending on the circumstances.

1. with a guy if you are traveling in public transport? It’s hard to imagine a more ideal opportunity! The crowd is your ally. You can ask permission to hold his elbow, making a grimace of helplessness and confusion on your face, batting your eyelashes for convincing. No matter how stupid it may look, you can be sure it will work! After all, you will touch on one of the main psychological points of men: with your request, you will make it clear that you see in a young man a strong, self-sufficient individual, capable of protecting a weak woman. And if the guy is sitting, ask permission to sit on his lap! Believe me, you only need to gain courage for the first phrase: “Sorry, I’m so tired (at sports training, at dance classes, running around the shops for purchases, looking for a runaway dog ​​- in a word, write as believably as possible), I don’t have the strength to stand, and together it’s warmer (if it’s winter)...” And then communication with the guy will go by itself. After all, now you are young, and youth in itself is a charm, plus some tricks of using cosmetics... A young man will be pleased with the attention of a pretty stranger. If he himself is not shy or uptight, you are guaranteed an interesting lyrical adventure!
2. Do you see a nice young man just on the street or outside a cafe window? Well, here too there are many ways to start a conversation with a guy. If you are with a friend, you can come as close as possible (without violating decency, of course!) and, say, with a loud, infectious laugh (but not vulgar laughter) to attract his attention. Look at him several times, trying to catch his gaze and slightly smile at him personally. Having noticed such obvious signs, the young man himself will not fail to get to know you. Another way to start a conversation with a guy in this situation is to go up to him and say that you and your friend argued about something and ask him to become a judge in your dispute (we can talk about a sensational film and its director, about some then a book, an athlete, etc.). The main thing here is the first step. And then things will go by themselves.
3. Does the young man you like live next door or study in the same institution with you, do you go to a common gym, do you have a real opportunity to meet him several times a day on the streets, in corridors and other places? Watch him, find out his daily routine. Try to catch his eye often. At the same time, it is advisable that you have something that makes you stand out from the crowd; this will make meeting a guy easier. For example, bright clothes, long flowing hair... Seeing you several times a day in different situations, the guy will get used to you and begin to subconsciously perceive you as “his own.” After a week and a half of such meetings, once again passing by, say hello to him. Do this in a casual, business-like tone, as a matter of course. And so on for a couple of days. Soon the young man will be the first to greet you, then the tone can be made warmer, more sincere, and this will be the next stage of your task - how to start a conversation with a guy. In this situation, he himself will take the next step towards rapprochement!

Final notes

What we have advised you in this article, dear girls, is probably only a hundredth of the possible options for action. You can contact the guy about your cell phone, citing its malfunction, you can ask for directions or find out what time it is, inquire about the breed of his dog, or ask him to hold yours by the leash while you are on sneakers or fasten a boot that came unfastened at the wrong time...

The main thing is don’t be afraid, don’t hesitate. And when the conversation begins, try to behave naturally, and unobtrusively let the young man understand that you like him.

More romance in your life!

Do you want to chat with a guy on VKontakte, but don’t know what to write in the first message? Do you doubt whether you should write first? We will dispel your doubts and give you some ideas for an original and unobtrusive first message.

Should I write first?

Discussions on this topic have been going on for several years now. Some say that a man must show his conquering spirit, and there is no need to interfere with this. Others - there’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation on a social network yourself, especially if the guy doesn’t know about your existence.

The correct answer to this question lies somewhere in the middle and depends on each specific situation: if a person is interesting and you really want to start communicating with him, it is better to write. After all, it is better to do something and then regret it than not to do it and regret the missed opportunity.

Let's start a conversation

When the decision to write has been made, the question arises of where to start communicating. A close study of the potential lover’s VKontakte profile will come to the rescue. Pay attention to the following indicators.

Mutual friends

Carefully study the list of friends of the object of your attention. It may turn out that you have mutual friends or you know each other indirectly through each other’s friends. This can be a good reason to start a conversation. Just don’t gossip about mutual friends under any circumstances!

Place of work or study

It may well be that you found this person’s profile in a community dedicated to your place of work or study. Having common memories and topics is already a great reason to start a conversation.

Similar interests, hobbies

A large number of VKontakte users indicate interests in their profiles. Or you can guess about them simply by looking at the entire content of the young man’s page: videos, music, posts. It is likely that your interests will coincide with yours. This can be a great start for communication.

General groups

It would be useful to study the list of communities in which the prospective chosen one is a member. It is possible that you and he are members of the same or similar groups.

We write the first message

Once a page has been studied and a message writing strategy has been chosen, tactical action is required. It’s hard to resist the usual “Hello.” How are you?”, but doing so is still not recommended. You need to start creatively, brightly and unusually. This way there is a much higher chance that they will write you a reply message. Here are some examples to start dating on VKontakte.

Universal approach:

• "Hello! Are you dating on VKontakte? »
• "Good afternoon! Do you mind getting to know each other? »
• "Hello! How do you feel about online dating? »

Such phrases immediately show your intentions and stimulate feedback.

Unobtrusive flirting:

• "Hello! I'm going to discover new musical directions. Can you recommend some great music for a Friday night? »
• "Good evening! I'm going to watch a movie. Can you tell me something worth watching? »
• "Hello! It was a free day, I’m going to go to an exhibition (the theater, cinema, concert). Tell me what to pay attention to? »

As a rule, such proposals are written to people they know. In the case of strangers, the effect of surprise is triggered. At a minimum, such a message will be read. If you haven’t been lazy, but have carefully studied the man’s interests and in your message indirectly pointed out topics that are fascinating to him, there is a high probability of feedback.

Maximum honesty:

• "Hello! I found your page on VKontakte. You seemed to me a very interesting person. Let's try to communicate? »
• "Good afternoon! It seems that you are a very interesting conversationalist, and now I really miss communication. Let's try to make acquaintance? In the end, neither I nor you lose anything from this."

By starting communication this way, you will immediately indicate the purpose of your interest. And in return you will receive a message only to the point, eliminating all sorts of understatements and guesses.

Conversation on interests:

Such messages will immediately attract attention, since they stimulate the guy to talk on a topic that is close and understandable to him, and even with a person who shares his interests.

He replied. What to write next

So, the goal has been achieved: the young man read the message and responded to it. Based on his reaction, it will be clear what to write next and whether it needs to be done.

If the guy said that he is not dating or he has a girlfriend - alas. You just need to apologize and not write to him anymore. Even if you are sure that you will be his better half. Believe me, you will definitely find your happiness.

If a man answered your questions, moreover, asked you something, you can be sure: you interested him. Support this interest. Here's how to do it.

You can find out exactly what questions guys on VK like to answer from this video:

And don’t forget to talk about yourself: men don’t like it when they’re the only ones talking. Although excessive talkativeness and egocentrism are also not effective ways to attract the attention of a pen pal on VKontakte.

Men are conquerors by nature. If he likes you, he will let you know. And it will be noticeable.
If not, well, the person is simply not “yours.” Don't be discouraged. Yours will definitely be found.

5 ways to successfully start a conversation with a guy on VKontakte was last modified: March 23rd, 2018 by Armina

5 rules for starting a conversation on the Internet

It’s worth throwing away all these doubts and just sticking to simple rules during a conversation so as not to look stupid. Although, the concept of stupidity is very flexible.

1. Study the questionnaire/profile

So, the first and basic rule is that you need to get to know the person before you enter into a dialogue with him. Check out his profile. Look at the photo - what is shown on it, what photo was chosen, read about his hobbies, pay attention to the spelling, whether he indicated his marital status and other facts. After you make your first impression of a stranger, use what you've learned to start communicating. If you have found common hobbies and interests, then half the battle is already done, all that remains is to write a message and start a conversation, you definitely have something to talk about, at least in the first three sentences.

2. Be original

You can write the words “hello, how are you”, but you are unlikely to be able to stand out from the crowd of other “writers”. Therefore, if you still have the courage to enter into a dialogue, then show originality. Think about what exactly the first message from you should be. Perhaps a playful posing of the question in the spirit of “I see you like alpine skiing, but how do you spend time in the summer without snow?” will help attract the attention of the man you like and thus start a dialogue. You should not start a conversation with the phrases: “What are you looking for here?”, “What are your plans for the evening?”, “I also like to drink” - this is unconstructive and rude. Reputation on the Internet is also a reputation.

3. Don't interrogate

Once you start communicating with a man, try to keep the conversation in the spirit of small talk. This means that you don’t need to ask direct questions: “How many children do you have?”, “What is the name of your ex-wife” and “What did you do in the 90s?” Talk about general topics, look at the reaction, evaluate the sense of humor and literacy. You can ask all the questions you are interested in later, when the communication develops into something more, but at first, an attempt to get into a person’s soul will be perceived solely as tactlessness.

4. Don't insist on exchanging contacts/meeting

If during the correspondence a person did not offer to meet you or at least use more realistic means of communication, you should not blame him for this, much less insist on a date. Perhaps he has his own reasons for not going offline, which he is unlikely to tell you about. At the same time, if your plans are real communication, it makes sense to look for a new interlocutor so as not to waste time chatting with an unrealistic man.

5. Don't impose

What is meant by this word? Writing one or two messages a day is normal, but 5-10 is already too much? That's not the point at all. If you wrote a message to a man, but he never responded, you can try again. If the second message was ignored, retreat. The same applies to dialogues. It’s one thing when you correspond intensively, ask each other questions, share impressions, discuss something and “stay in touch” all the time, and quite another when a man answers your messages in monosyllables and once a week.

The main advantage of virtual communication is that you don’t owe anyone anything. You can interrupt the correspondence at any time or, conversely, transfer it to real time. During communication, you have the opportunity to really get to know the person one way or another and get an idea about him in order to feel more confident and relaxed during the date. The main thing is not to be shy, and if you are looking for your love using the Internet, then this is your choice, and that means it is definitely the right one!