It all depends on the purpose for which the compliment is given. Some people do this to please another, some simply successfully state facts, some like to manipulate in this way, some speak from sincere motives and in order to please their interlocutor.

Complimenting is an art that requires a person to have certain skills and abilities. If you use it haphazardly, it can be turned into a weapon of insult and flattery. There are several secrets that will help you understand how to say nice things correctly and beautifully.

For whatever purpose you do it, try to do it sincerely. Flattery is always noticeable, and instead of positive emotions, it can cause hostility.


Remember that a compliment is aimed at bringing joy to people, with its help there should be more good.
But flattery already performs completely different functions: for getting what you want, guile, condescension and other not so altruistic motives.

Vague praise is no longer praise. To say to a person: “you’re great and smart” is the same as comparing him with the majority, without focusing on his uniqueness, inimitability and peculiarity. Common hackneyed phrases and compliments make their recipient feel pretentious and deceitful. In this case, you will be one of those many who have already said this. Make a precise compliment and give reasons for it. Explain to your interlocutor why you wanted to note this particular quality of his.

Praise virtues

When starting a conversation with a person you don’t know well, note his positive aspects, which are immediately visible. This could be a good face, a figure, a beautifully delivered literary speech, an interesting style, and more.

Do not try to draw deeply psychological conclusions, because the first impression is deceiving and you can pass for a flatterer.

Every person wants to be praised. Not everyone has obvious qualities to brag about. To win over a person, find something not outstanding in him and give him great value. For example, if a cute but very shy girl is standing on the sidelines at a party, tell her how much you like modest and shy girls and explain why.


Look for hidden strengths in people, even if they look like flaws.

Fewer pompous phrases

Literary pompous comparisons are of course very sweet and romantic, but in reality they look contrasting and implausible. Don’t bombard the girl with phrases like “your eyes are like two oceans, and a star is burning in your forehead.” In this case, she will look at you with slight surprise and, most likely, will move away.

Be simpler and people will reach out to you.

Also, whenever possible, compliments should be brief, otherwise you risk drowning the true value of your word in a stream of other, less significant phrases.

This point is very important and very subtle. You should especially adhere to it when you compliment girls, because they will find a catch even where there is none.

A compliment with a double bottom can cause completely undesirable feelings in your interlocutor, for example, resentment or irritation.

So dubious are phrases like “You look good today, just like never before,” that is, before the person looked bad, but today something has descended on him. Or “this color of the blouse makes you look younger,” here, get ready for a strong and long-lasting insult from the woman, because you said that before she looked old.

Make it a habit

All the advice is good, but there is one problem - how can you remember to give compliments? In order for your brain to produce the right words at the right moment, program it.

Learn to say nice things every day to employees, relatives, passersby and people you just like.

At first it will be difficult to do this, you will lack imagination, but over time you will get used to making people feel good. You will feel that you have changed, and that your surroundings have changed. Don’t look for a reason to compliment, tell people about their merits simply and naturally.

The phrase must match the moment

If you still decide to give a standard compliment, then first look at the person to see if it would be appropriate to give it at this moment and in this place. If you tell an employee “you look good today,” but in reality he has circles under his eyes, a dissatisfied face and a dirty shirt.

Remember that a compliment must be on a solid, truthful basis, then it will bring pleasure to you and the person to whom you present it.

Also pay attention to ensuring that your praise is understood by your interlocutor, otherwise all your efforts will be in vain.

You need to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand what he would like to hear from you. Don't forget to take into account gender, age, hobbies and value orientations. Thus, when saying something nice to a man, it is necessary to focus on his mental abilities, and to a woman – on his appearance; a child will be pleased to hear praise for his toys, a teenager - about his uniqueness, an old man - about his good deeds done in life.

How often do we forget that people are ready to listen to good and kind words about themselves for hours. When we need to win over our interlocutor, we are ready to come up with a lot of possible ways to do this. But sometimes we forget about such simple and effective things as giving compliments.

It is customary to compliment ladies, because “women love with their ears.” But in fact, everyone is happy to hear pleasant words about themselves, it’s just that men most often hide their reaction to compliments. Such a predisposition to be moved by hearing words about oneself comes from a basic human need - the need for positive emotions. A person who helps you satisfy this need immediately becomes pleasant to talk to and puts you at ease.

How to give the right compliments

Defining this concept will help you understand what a good and correct compliment is. Kind, pleasant words and flattering feedback are called a compliment. And what distinguishes it from flattery is precisely the miniscule exaggeration of a person’s positive qualities or characteristics. For a better perception, I think it’s worth giving an example: “You look beautiful in this dress” (compliment) and “You are the most lovely woman” (flattery). The latter very clearly shows that they are trying to please and flatter you. Often, using such parameters, you can reveal what exactly the person wanted to do: a compliment or outshine you with flattery. Often flattering reviews can be refuted and not accepted due to obvious untruthfulness. Not everyone likes this attitude towards themselves, although situations vary.

Of course, in business interpersonal interactions, compliments are more often given as manifestations of wit and subtle execution of communication skills. But you should remember that your words can be heard and understood in different ways and you should subtly feel the moment of compliments. Otherwise, you can ruin both the mood of your interlocutor and your impression of yourself.

Compliment and praise. Often these concepts can be put on a par. But it is worth noting one nuance in the use of these communication tools. Praise is pronounced more often by the “tops” in relation to the “bottoms”, speaking about official relations, and a compliment is pronounced by the “bottoms”, as if praising the “tops” above them, allowing them to rise even more.

Based on the above, we can summarize that the right compliment is pleasant words spoken about another person against the background of a decrease in one’s merits. Here is a case from the constant everyday life of the office. One employee says to another: “How can you be so kind to the accounting department? This morning I tormented our chief accountant for an hour over a certificate, and in 10 minutes you received from her a certificate and analysis on the latest cases.”

Such a positive perception of a compliment is helped by the use of life situations or advantages of the partner that are known to both parties. Facts are revealed that put the other side of the communication process in a more advantageous position. But basing a compliment on mythical assumptions can reduce these pleasant words to simple flattering statements or make them implausible. Therefore, when you are not sure whether a person knows what we are talking about, it is worth reminding him of these facts, and then paying compliments in his honor.

Awakening fantasies. Compliments are considered great if they allow you to encourage your interlocutor to mentally continue them and give free rein to his fantasies. It happens that a man is told that his car is very good, powerful and that he himself looks great next to this car. How does a person react to this: “Of course, because I was able to earn money for this car, I am successful in my business. I’m doing great at work, and I have a strong and friendly family at home, for whom I do all this.” It turns out that by giving a compliment to personal things, their owner can attribute these words to his own account.

Another important fact is that in order to accurately hit the target, it is necessary that the desired part of the compliment be correctly structured, simple and clear. It is necessary not to wrap up the sentence with numerous turns, but, on the contrary, to make it simpler and clearer. Avoid moralizing, avoid ambiguity of emotions and words when pronouncing compliments.

Common phrases. We all know that there are a diverse number of words that are pleasant to hear for any person. Almost all of us want to be healthy, loved, confident; to be successful, successful; having beautiful children, relatives nearby, etc. Interpersonal communication helps to obtain a lot of other, more personalized information. Considering the positive characteristics or actions of a particular person, your compliment will look more advantageous and will be more appreciated by the interlocutor.

Let's conduct an experiment - give a compliment to a person whom you consider, say, not very successful in his career. Think about whether he has the same opinion about himself? Most likely no. Perhaps he set his life priorities differently. He believes that it is necessary to devote more time to his family and children. This is a reason for a compliment: “I wish my family, like yours, would spend time together more often.”

Amateur mistakes. We are mistaken when we think that we should only say pleasant words to those people from whom we want or can benefit. What about practice? Without some experience, saying the right words at the right moment will be the most difficult task. Most likely, the person you want to contact will guess your intention, and you haven’t even practiced. Consequently, there is an idea that nothing good will come of this venture.

Compliments every day. How often should you practice giving compliments? Constantly. Any person who deserves pleasant words addressed to him should be given compliments. Only through training and practice can you hone your ability to give compliments clearly, clearly and on target. It wouldn’t even hurt to establish a bonus for yourself: “Compliment of the Day.” And with successful statements, treat yourself to a good mood!

At first, try to say compliments “without extra ears” so that other people do not embarrass you. Identify qualities in your interlocutor that are less pronounced in you, and say this while looking into his eyes. Minor mistakes will not be too noticeable or will be forgivable for a novice master, since we all love to hear flattering words about ourselves. When you feel like you are mastering the skill, give compliments in public. This way they will make a greater impression on the interlocutor.

To summarize what has been said, I would like to note that there are no losers in this matter. A successful and correct compliment puts everyone around in a good mood. Smiles appear on the faces of your interlocutors, and on your face as well, your well-being improves, and therefore your mood.

And finally, I suggest you watch a wonderful video about the power of a compliment:

Give compliments and give people joy, for your own good!

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Each of us wants to be admired by others, we all need recognition. However, only a few know how to accept compliments: most become embarrassed, blush, begin to make excuses or praise the person in return. Why don't we know how to accept praise?

Incorrect settings

Our difficult attitude towards compliments is based on beliefs that we developed in childhood: attitudes and rules that were instilled by our parents.

“It’s not nice to brag”

With the light hand of our parents, we believe that talking about our achievements is unacceptable, because this is bragging that does not make us beautiful. Is this reaction to compliments familiar? “This is just a good dress! In fact, it’s been a long time since I lost weight.” Never make excuses when you hear praise addressed to you!

"You are no better than others"

This belief creates low self-esteem in us. We stop noticing even our own strengths and try to be no different from other people. We admire anyone, but not our own achievements.

"Flattery is self-serving"

From childhood we were taught that sucking up is not good. Any praise or compliments can be insincere, because if a person praises you, it means he needs something. Thus, we perceive a compliment as a way of manipulation and therefore immediately look for a catch.

"An eye for an eye"

If a person does something good to you, gives you a gift or gives you compliments, you simply must answer him in kind. Not knowing how to give compliments, we find ourselves in an awkward position: if we were given an expensive gift, we think that we should be given the same one in return.

Express diagnostics

Test yourself, can you accept compliments?

You feel embarrassed every time someone compliments you.

You feel like you don't deserve the praise.

You want to say something justifying to diminish your merits.

Hearing praise addressed to you, you launch into explanations.

You pretend that you didn’t hear the compliment, or you move the conversation to another topic as quickly as possible.

You are frantically looking for something nice to say in response.

You laugh it off when a person admires you.

You begin to publicly criticize yourself.

If most of the statements are about you, then urgently learn to accept compliments. First of all, start praising yourself! Every evening, celebrate your successes for the day and say pleasant words to yourself - and then your self-esteem will increase, and you will not perceive other people’s praise as undeserved or selfish.

The art of accepting compliments

1 Do not make excuses. Don't belittle your accomplishments by denying praise. And don’t try to explain how you managed to look so good or achieve a goal if you’re not asked about it.

2 When someone says something nice to you, smile sincerely. A smile should not be forced and forced. And don't allow yourself to smirk or giggle in response.

3 Don't turn up your nose. You shouldn’t pretend to be pompous and start praising yourself even more. An experienced person will immediately understand that you are doing this out of embarrassment. Or he will decide that he shouldn’t compliment you next time.

4 Don't ignore praise. Even if the compliment came unexpectedly and confused you, don’t pretend that you didn’t hear it. It’s clear that you’re unaccustomed to it, but the person wanted to please you! Needs to be appreciated.

5 Always give thanks. Even if you know that they are flattering you, don’t show it! Let the lie remain on the conscience of the flatterers. Respond with dignity: “Thank you, I’m very pleased to hear that.”

6 Don't look for subtext. Even if the compliment sounds ambiguous or strange, do not think for your interlocutor. Maybe he just formulated the phrase ineptly? Don't be suspicious.

! Remember. You have the right to enjoy compliments and deserve them. And the people who make them have the right to appreciate your merits and say so!

Doing it right compliments not everyone is capable. When we need to win a person's favor, we turn to the art of the compliment. Is it necessary to be able to accept compliments? Is it really that important? What drives us when we shyly refuse to accept praise for our appearance or “services to the fatherland,” and how can this harm us? How to accept compliments correctly, is it always necessary to do this, and how to benefit from it? Let's try to understand some questions about accepting compliments.

"Modesty paints a person gray." It happens that you give a girl a compliment, but she denies it, saying that you are, that you are, and I don’t have any hairstyle or makeup, and you make up the idea that I’m beautiful. Someone will call this excessive modesty , and someone with low self-esteem. Indeed, we are sometimes so firmly convinced of our shortcomings that we very strictly guard them and protect them from “attacks.” Try to compliment the delicate curly hair of a young girl, and she will fiercely begin to defend her point of view that her hair is sparse, thin, falling out and poorly styled. Each of the two interlocutors will be right. It may indeed seem to us that they are simply mocking us and not giving us a compliment. But don’t forget that everyone sees the world differently, and oh. There is no dispute between tastes. Therefore, always allow for the possibility that the other person likes what you don’t like. This will give you a reason not to doubt the sincerity of the compliment, but to thank the person.

But denial compliment- this is not always modesty. Oddly enough, most often people deny their virtues for whom one is not enough. It is necessary to convince them, persuade them, and find confirmation of their charms. Have you noticed this? Don't overdo it! Firstly, few people will continue to persuade you, and you risk not receiving the desired portion of flattery. Secondly, the giver of the compliment may think (and quite rightly) that you do not want to accept the compliment. Next time you won't get even this minimum.

If you don't learn to accept compliments, nothing bad will happen. It’s just that people from whom you did not accept a compliment will no longer give them to you. And those who are especially touchy will take revenge. How? Well, for example, in the presence of a nice friend from whom you would still like to receive a compliment, they will say that you do not like being praised. And then it will be very awkward for you to convince the most attractive one that you have changed your mind, or that this is not the case at all. Therefore, accepting compliments is, first of all, taking care of yourself, your reputation, self-esteem, and future unheard but desired compliments. Well, and secondly, it is a manifestation of respect for the interlocutor. He tried, noticed good traits in you, and even dared to say it out loud, but you didn’t appreciate it! You can not do it this way. If you find it difficult to accept compliments, you can start by following the rules of etiquette.

But sometimes compliments are too much fake! Nobody likes the envious eyes of unkind people who praise you through clenched teeth, and a compliment looks like a curse. Of course, it is better to avoid such praise. There are situations when a discreet “thank you” is more than enough, and you run away from there under any pretext. As a rule, women “sin” with insincere compliments towards their rivals. Moreover, rivalry, it can be in anything, and completely unexpected. Therefore, it is not always advisable to be showered with gratitude at any compliment you hear. Do you suspect it's fake? Skip the conversation and change the topic of conversation.

But men usually don't they're making excuses with your soul when giving a compliment! Yes, not always disinterestedly, but honestly! Does it seem to you that a man showers you with compliments “with a long-range aim”? Still, do not refuse to accept what you hear addressed to you and thank the generous donor. Gratitude is not a promise to accept his further offers. But when you express gratitude to such a man, you have a chance to receive compliments in the future, when he is already chasing other “prey”. After all, often the main goal of a compliment is to receive appreciation for the pleasure provided. If a man’s efforts were not in vain, at least in the form of accepting compliments, he will definitely repeat it again in return for your “Pur-mur, thank you!”

There is an opinion that compliments you need to be able to accept it correctly. The standard “thank you” has not been appreciated for a long time. What is most important when accepting a compliment? Of course, ! The facial expression with which you accept a gift tells the giver a lot about your true emotions. And a compliment is a gift. Therefore, train yourself to smile contentedly when receiving any compliment. Remember that this is both a rule of politeness and your “contribution” to future praise. What you say at the moment a blissful smile appears on your face is no longer so important. If you softly hum “thank you,” that will do, too. Sometimes it’s worth flirting with a gentleman if he is inclined to a humorous form of communication: “What are you doing! You flatter me! Continue, continue!” Don't return a compliment with a compliment. It will look fake. They give a compliment, and your response “thank you, you look good too” will negate the value of the gift. You also don’t need to indulge in lengthy explanations of how you achieved such perfection, otherwise you risk not receiving another compliment. The person liked the result, but the process of achieving it usually interests no one.

In general, girls, learn the art of acceptance compliments in men! Give a man some sensible compliment, praise his business qualities, admire his ingenuity and dexterity. It will bloom! This is exactly what men expect from us when they compliment us. After all, in fact, there is nothing more pleasant for them than to please a woman. Bloom towards compliments!

If you want people to show sincere sympathy for you and be willing to communicate, learn the art of giving them compliments and accepting them.

The origin of this word is French. A compliment means a special form of praise, admiration, recognition, approval. Pleasant words expressed for various reasons can raise self-esteem and mood, bring pleasure and skillfully emphasize dignity.

When one person says nice things to another, it raises the self-esteem of the speaker, since you need to have a certain amount of confidence to notice the good qualities of other people and voice it out loud. The art of noticing the positive in others develops the ability to notice the good in yourself.

It is important to learn how to give compliments without falling into rude flattery. If you make one small exaggeration, you can ruin everything and be rejected by your interlocutor. This distinguishes flattery from a sincere compliment coming from the heart.

Follow a few important rules to ensure that your praise or admiration is appropriate and attractive:

1. Every compliment has its own recipient, be it a man or a woman, an employee or a client. Look at the person when you say pleasant words to him.
2. Be as open and honest as possible. Without showing sincerity, your words will seem like far-fetched flattery.
3. Especially valuable are those compliments that reflect personality traits that make her stand out from the crowd. For example, “You move so gracefully!” or “You have impeccable taste” and the like.
4. Let your gestures and facial expressions match your words. Smile!
5. Compliments should not be given in passing.
6. Avoid common cliches - the Russian language is very rich in interchangeable words.
7. A phrase like “You are great at mathematical problems, go to an economics university” is no longer a compliment, but a lesson. Avoid this.

Everyone loves compliments. Women will appreciate admiration for their appearance, taste, figure, and youthfulness. It is better for men to give compliments about their character, achievements, and business qualities.

Don't treat giving compliments as a chore. After all, this is one of the win-win ways to please the interlocutor whom you like. Give compliments to everyone you want: friends, family, acquaintances and strangers. Not for any benefit, but simply because you want it.

How to accept compliments?

Despite? that even a cat appreciates a kind word; compliments are not always perceived as something sincere and pleasant. Especially for us, the Eastern Slavs, rare compliments are perceived quite adequately. Low self-esteem often prevents us from accepting a compliment. There is no worse situation when a young man blushes, sweats and with difficulty squeezes out “You look amazing,” and the girl mumbles in response that she doesn’t have makeup on, doesn’t get enough sleep, and that this dress is already a hundred years old. A well-spoken compliment is half the battle. It still needs to be adequately answered.

The ideal response is sincere joy, as if you were told amazing news, a smile and response words.

Compliments accepted:

1. Gratefully and with dignity.
2. Don't limit yourself to a banal "thank you."
3. Don’t even think about belittling your merits, don’t mind.
4. Don't comment or ask questions, especially if the compliment is ambiguous or inappropriate (this can be done in your head).
5. The most correct reaction to a compliment is the remark “Thank you for the compliment” or “Thank you, that’s so kind of you.”
6. Accept yourself as you are. Your nose, height, freckles, figure, which seem imperfect to you, do not seem so at all in the eyes of others. Maybe that's why they love you.
7. Don't react to praise as a question requiring proof. Don't tell the inside story about the dress you bought on sale or how you prepared a new dish.
8. Never ask the question “how do you like me” about new makeup, hairstyle, or clothes. Don't try to attract too much attention from others - it's tactless! Especially if you clearly went too far with your new image, and your loved ones delicately decided to remain silent.

Don't be upset if your compliment seems contrived. It is much easier to criticize than to praise. Look for your own compliment options and be sure to apply them in your life. You will see that it works, and those around you feel great about it. After all, we all love it when people treat us well.