How to stop being afraid of talking to girls. How to overcome the fear of meeting a girl

Gynophobia is a very interesting disease, the main symptom of which is a panicky fear of women. This condition is also called gynecophobia. This fear usually occurs in men, but can sometimes occur in women. Men who are afraid of girls feel fear inside their souls and understand that all this is wrong. But they cannot change the situation in any way.

When a man meets a girl, he begins to behave inappropriately: he is afraid to approach the girl he likes. Creating harmonious and trusting relationships is simply impossible. Sometimes such fear is confused with hatred of the female sex, however, the nature of these states is somewhat different. Although it is worth noting that sometimes a phobia can develop into hatred of girls. Why are men afraid of beautiful girls and how to stop being afraid of girls?

Gynophobia is a serious disease that you are unlikely to be able to cope with on your own.

In addition to gynophobia, there are also other phobias. These include fears such as:

Gravidophobia is a panic fear of pregnant women. Both men and women are susceptible to this condition. It occurs as a result of the death of a loved one, a difficult relationship with a mother, or the birth of a stillborn child. In childless men, this disease can be severe. When they see a pregnant woman, they experience extreme fear, begin to panic, and sometimes even feel disgust. If a girl is pregnant, then she may experience panic fear of childbirth;
Venustraphobia is the fear of beautiful women. The basis for the appearance of this condition is negative moments from the past. For example, in adolescence a man was humiliated by a beautiful girl. Sick people begin to develop various complexes. Hence the fact that they do not consider themselves worthy of such women. Venustraphobia can be corrected, but this requires consultation with a psychologist;
Parthenophobia is a panicky fear of virgins. Due to the fact that parthenophobia is a psychological and not a physical disease, treatment should be psychological, but not medicinal. This is due to the fact that there will be no benefit from taking medications. Hypnosis is used for treatment. Parthenophobia can be treated, but for this you need to see a good doctor.

Causes

On the Internet, on various forums, you can often come across various statements, for example, “I’m afraid to meet girls. What to do?" - the answer is quite simple. In order to answer this question, you must first learn about the reasons why this condition may occur. So why are guys afraid to meet girls?

As a rule, a man’s fear of a woman comes from distant childhood. For example, if the family had a strict upbringing.

The emotional state of a child is quite easy to control, which is why manic responsibility towards one’s little son can partially or completely suppress his will. In addition, the development of gynophobia can occur in single-parent families where there was no father. In families where the child is raised only by the mother, the formation of a man is also negatively affected, and also complicates the relationship between the sexes.

As children, they are more likely to be friends with girls and are afraid of losing contact with them. Such guys are most susceptible to any mental disorders.

Tense relationships, failures in bed - all this gives rise to the fear of a repetition of this event.

In addition to this, there are also other social factors that cause the appearance of this condition:

Watching pornographic films at a very young age;
Incorrect role of sex in family life;
Violence in family.

Often, gynophobia in men begins to manifest itself towards a girl after she becomes pregnant. Lack of sex, unusual behavior of a woman, misunderstanding of the nature of pregnancy - all this forces a man to reconsider his attitude towards a pregnant woman. However, you should understand that pregnancy is not a death sentence and you can live a full life.

Other reasons

Why might a guy be afraid of ladies? How to stop being afraid of girls? In answering these questions, I would like to mention the symptoms that appear in a sick person. Very often these are soft-bodied people who, due to their character, cannot defend their opinion or stand to the end. Such fears of women force many men to live with their mother for quite a long period of time.

A man's fear of women can pose a danger to everyone around him. This is due to the fact that a person experiences uncontrollable attacks of aggression and cruelty.

Based on the severity of gynophobia, this condition can appear for a number of reasons:

Fear of women. Whenever he tries to speak, the man begins to panic. Such fears are felt especially vividly if men are trying to get acquainted. “I’m afraid to go up and ask a girl out for a walk, why?” What's stopping him? The reason lies in self-doubt.
Why are guys afraid of beautiful girls? They experience an obsessive feeling of defenselessness. When the guys meet, they praise her greatly in their heads. This all makes them refuse to communicate with girls. Women next to such men feel unnecessary, without attention, and they, in turn, unconsciously begin to be rude. Men with this phobia try not to look their partner in the eyes.

If you are terrified of talking to girls, asking them out on a date, or writing to a girl on VKontakte, then we are most likely talking about a phobia such as panic fear of women.

Symptoms

This disease can be identified if symptoms appear. This includes:

If you experience sweating on your body, especially your hands;
If there is nausea, especially if it is accompanied by vomiting;
If there is a rapid heartbeat;
If urinary incontinence occurs;
If sexual intercourse ends quickly;
If a person experiences shortness of breath or difficulty breathing.

The severity of gynophobia directly depends on the stage, as well as the symptoms in which this disease occurs. A severe form of this phobia can cause a man to completely reject a woman. In addition, this fear can lead to a person starting to drink alcohol or drugs, or persuade a man to become gay. Sometimes, in the presence of serious disorders, this fear can turn into a syndrome that is manic in nature, which ultimately leads to the guy becoming a maniac.

The most common phobias

Consider the list of the most common fears:

"I'm afraid to approach a girl." If you are experiencing panic fear of meeting a girl, then you can overcome it by communicating with her on VKontakte or on any other social networks. Write to her about your sympathy. When you are ready for face-to-face communication, you can send her an invitation for a walk, where you can start talking to the girl.
“I’m terrified that the girl will refuse me.” Under no circumstances should you be afraid. Believe me, girls are also people who are also afraid of being rejected. If the fear is very high, then you can find out about her sympathy for you from the same social networks; for this you just need to write to the girl. If you take this step correctly, then success awaits you.
“How to ask a girl to meet”” If you have been corresponding for a long time and are already communicating in person, then you can ask her to meet. To do this, invite the lady for a walk or to a restaurant, where you propose to her in an intimate setting. If she agrees, then you can safely kiss the girl.
“I’m afraid of girls because I worry about what others will think of me.” Today, each person is immersed in his own problems. That's why they don't care about you at all.

Treatment

How to make a guy stop feeling panicky fear of the female half of humanity? It will take a certain amount of time to not be afraid to talk to a girl. To eliminate this problem, drug treatment with psychotropic drugs may be necessary. However, the most effective method of therapy is psychotherapy, carried out using special procedures, namely:

If the reason for the panic does not lie on the surface, and the guy does not know not only how to ask a girl to meet, but how to even get to know her, then treatment begins with hypnosis. The effectiveness of this method is due to the fact that women or men are immersed in a trance state and begin to remember all the vital moments in life that could have caused this fear. During such a procedure, the brain acts as a shield for the psyche, so you should under no circumstances be afraid that the doctor will have a negative impact. The action of such a session is usually aimed at correcting old memories.
“I liked the guy. What should I do?" Group classes will help him. A whole group of people who suffer from these or other mental disorders.
Patients do not feel alone in their problem. During these sessions, depression is suppressed, anxiety goes away, and the psyche calms down.
“Why does the guy have these fears?” It is also worth paying attention to cognitive psychology. Why is this necessary? This is necessary in order to further correct human behavior. As a result of such actions, the guy ceases to be afraid not only of talking to the girl, but also of kissing her.

Gynophobia has been very well studied by many specialists and it refers to psychological diseases. Due to the fact that not all patients associate this fear with a phobia, turning to specialists occurs in the later stages, when the situation has already started. “How to make a teenager stop being afraid of girls who are shy or inexperienced.” The answer lies on the surface. First of all, you should consult a doctor. Only he can adequately help you. The same applies to men who have strained relationships with women in adulthood.

The doctor can not only explain the cause of this disorder, but also prescribe the correct treatment that will be beneficial. It is better to start getting acquainted with this condition immediately after the first signs of the disease appear. You need to understand that fear of girls is by no means a death sentence.

Among all phobias, fear of women is the most common. And its treatment must begin at the initial stages of development, but not when the situation has already started.

As paradoxical as it may sound, many men experience great excitement and even fear when they meet the girl they like. Why is this happening? In most cases, the problem lies on the surface - lack of self-confidence caused by a number of previously acquired complexes. That is why it is important to understand yourself and neutralize the cause that causes unpleasant sensations.

In addition to uncertainty, indecision that arises inappropriately can spoil the pleasant impression of meeting a beautiful stranger. Never doubt the actions you take, and don’t think for a long time about whether or not you should approach a pretty girl. Be sure to do this and try to come back with a phone number - let this be your first triumph.

Doubts will never make a real man look good; they will only reduce the likelihood of success, since women are hypersensitive to such things. The fair sex adores strong, self-confident and assertive knights who are able to reliably protect the chosen lady of their heart and fight for her favor. Therefore, try to remove any signs of doubt from your face, hide away complexes that no one needs, arm yourself with a smile, a bold look, and easily begin a new pleasant acquaintance.

When working on yourself, it is important to remember that the fear of communication cannot be overcome in a couple of minutes. The first few times you will have to brazenly step over it in order to reach your intended goal. In the future, this should develop into a habit, which will subsequently bring sheer pleasure.

During periods of difficult experiments, failures will occur, which should not unsettle you and force you to give up. Perhaps the girl passing by is in a hurry or is in a bad mood. In any case, you should not take rejection too seriously. Take what is happening with humor, use a philosophical approach and be sure to continue what you started.

If you still don’t know how to overcome your fear of a girl, try auto-training. Convince yourself that you are no worse than those men who are already successful with attractive representatives of the fair sex. Realize your own uniqueness and accept yourself for who you really are. After 10–15 such sessions, there will be practically nothing left of indecision, and the world will receive another confident man, which modern young ladies so lack.

Try to be alone less often and do not isolate yourself - it is better to walk in the fresh air. And for the good of your business - smile at eye-catching beauties, don’t be afraid to say hello to them. Start the conversation with some simple question, try to do it with self-esteem, don’t back down, and you will definitely gradually get closer to your cherished goal. And our unique and at the same time simple instructions given below will help you improve your practical skills during the dating process.

How to get rid of fear of a girl?

To begin with, try just walking down the street - it’s not scary at all and it’s hard to disagree with it. Listen to your own feelings, there should be lightness, peace and a feeling of freedom in your soul. If you're in the right mood, try approaching the girl you like and asking what time it is. The main thing at this moment is to cope with anxiety. It is necessary to make new attempts until you feel absolutely calm in such a situation.

When the desired effect is achieved, try to complicate the task a little. After the girl answers you, try to say some simple compliment. Tell her that these glasses suit her very well or something like that.

With a little practice in politeness and simple compliments, you can make the training a little more difficult. Now, instead of the tired “what time is it”, try asking how to get to some part of the city, while it is advisable to pretend that you are a visitor. During the conversation, try to ask several counter questions. The goal of such manipulations is to stop being afraid of the process of communicating with attractive girls. Continue to hone your skills until the desired effect is achieved.

If you have already learned to deal with natural embarrassment, feel free to take decisive action. Now the main goal is not just to start talking, but to really get to know the beauty you like. The ideal option would be to try to communicate with two girls sitting on a bench.

Ask permission to sit down and try to start a conversation. You can be interested in anything, from your favorite music to your intended place of study or work. Communication for 10-15 minutes is considered an excellent result. After all fears and embarrassment are no longer an obstacle, make new acquaintances as often as possible, thanks to this, the awkwardness in front of pretty girls will disappear forever.

If, after reading this material, you want to know how to overcome any of your fears on your own, you can read an interesting article on this topic without leaving this site.

The biggest enemies of any person are internal doubts. Fear of women is familiar to the vast majority of men, and in fact, few have managed to overcome it, gaining the ability to remain calm and calm when meeting a girl.

When a young man is thinking about whether he should approach a girl for acquaintance, many possible pessimistic scenarios are scrolling through his head, which could become the real result of an unsuccessful attempt, and such thoughts make him sad and despondent.

Guys are afraid that the girl will refuse them, laugh at them, and send them away.

It seems terrible to them to get into an absurd situation and look like a moron: what will people think or the culprit herself - the girl.

But in fact, this is only a manifestation of an internal attitude towards the event, because in reality, those around you don’t care whether they get to know you or not, and the girl herself will forget about it the next day.

No one will think that you are some kind of loser. On the contrary, you are really cool if you can start dating, and it doesn’t really matter what the result is.

Remember yourself when you did not yet know how to drive a car, and it seemed to you that this was something unrealistically difficult. Now look at your current self, when you manage to be behind the wheel while talking on a cell phone (this is not a recommendation for action).

The only difference between the current you and who you were before is the experience you gained and bringing the acquired skill to automatism.

And with girls the situation is similar. You will always be afraid of something until you start doing it, and then, having gained experience, you will begin to remember with a smile the self that once felt fear.

It should be noted that developing approach skills through constant training will help you stop being afraid of female refusals, but will not save you from the fear of dating as such.

You can approach girls 10,000 times, but an unpleasant feeling will still bother you every day when you decide to approach a girl again.

Psychological liberation

In psychology, there is an opinion that the fear of dating is based on the fear of every woman who is significant to us, which, as a rule, is a beautiful girl. And the first woman who became the unwitting culprit of a man’s painful feelings towards girls was his mother.

The process of education by a mother and the tools used to prohibit various kinds of children's pranks, in addition to a positive effect, also have a negative side.

From early childhood, the most important woman in our lives shackled us, forbidding us to express ourselves in one way or another. And now, as adults, we are afraid to freely express our natural interest in the opposite sex when we meet a young, beautiful woman.

This fear has been honed throughout our lives, so simply repeating approaches to girls will not get rid of it.

Psychological reception

Sit down, relax and imagine a situation where you saw a very beautiful girl. There she is, standing not far from you, and you are looking straight at her.

At the same time, a very important detail: you don’t need to get to know the girl, you don’t need to approach her and start talking.

You just look at a beautiful girl and enjoy it. A slight smile appeared on your face, you felt very good and comfortable.

Feel the taste and smell of this moment (perhaps it will be the smell of flowers or women's perfume), focus on the pleasant sensation in the abdomen or possible tingling in the body.

Repeat this exercise several times a day (for example, in the morning and evening, but not all day) for one month and evaluate the effect. For better consolidation, it is recommended to perform this exercise for 3 months.

If you meet a beautiful girl somewhere, look at her and enjoy it, but for a month you should not approach her and start communicating. Dating is allowed only if the girl herself talks to you or someone introduces you to each other.

Conclusion

Dear friend, there is only one life, and it passes, becoming shorter every day. Every new day brings you closer to death, and this is a fact.

Today you are twenty years old, but before you know it, you will be forty, and what next? And then there is only regret on the topic “What if...”

Therefore, either you work through your fear, after which you start meeting girls, or you are simply wasting your mediocre life. The choice is yours.

And yet, if at the moment you are sure that you will not be able to approach a girl to meet her, go to the page dedicated to online dating, and you will find out how painless it is for yourself to learn how to easily meet girls.

Fear of dating a girl- This is one of the most common fears among young guys. In life, it manifests itself as a complete inability to approach an unfamiliar girl and start communicating in a relaxed manner. This leads to the fact that the young man is generally unable to have a normal relationship with a girl.

You've probably found yourself in this situation: you see a beautiful girl, you want to talk to her, take her phone number and invite her for a walk. And it seems that everything is simple! Come and speak. But something inside doesn't let you do it. You follow her and still can’t make up your mind. As a result, she leaves, and you begin to scold yourself for weakness and for missing out on such a doll. After all, there was such a great chance...

Fear of acquaintance manifests itself not only as fear of approach. It also appears as:

slurred muttering when talking to a stranger
increased sweating when communicating
slight trembling throughout the body
weakness in legs
and so on.

How is it that attractive guys who are healthy, well dressed, smart and have money have problems meeting and communicating with girls? Where does this very fear of a girl come from?

The root of the problem

It's no secret that modern society is clearly matriarchal. Boys are raised by women from childhood, and male education is virtually absent. The mother looks after the child, the kindergarten teacher is a woman, the school teacher is also a woman, and so on. All this leads to men growing up unmasculine.

Initially, the behavior of a little boy is significantly different from the behavior of a little girl. Boys are more confrontational and aggressive. This behavior is provided for by nature, because this is a future man who will have to extract resources and fight against others. But since women are the ones who do the upbringing, they usually suppress aggressiveness, competitiveness, and the ability to fight and resist.

Of course, this comes from good intentions. The mother is worried about the child, afraid that he will get injured. And there is much less hassle with such children, because parents are not called to school, the child’s clothes are clean. In general, such a good boy is growing up. The mother looks at such a son and is touched...

But it doesn’t even occur to her that she is introducing a female model of behavior into the boy’s brain. Such a good boy will turn out to be, at best, a loser pick-up artist who has no success with girls and in life, and at worst, a gay guy whose masculinity will be completely blocked.

Here are the consequences of matriarchal upbringing:

1 Fear of a woman. In the process of education, all rewards or punishments come from the woman. Accordingly, the child develops dependence and fear towards his mother, sister, teacher, and so on. After the boy grows up, such fear is projected onto other women. Why? Yes, because the child associates the mother with all women. Through fear of the mother, fear of girls in general is formed.
2 Fear of meeting girls- follows from the first problem. On the one hand, the guy’s masculine instincts push him to take active actions, but on the other hand, he is simply afraid of the girl. It jams my psyche. The moment of dating turns into a very stressful situation.
3 Fear of relationships. Even if a man has somehow overcome the fear of meeting people and has already decided to approach, the thought comes to mind: “Here I’ll come up, say the prepared phrase, take the phone number. But then you will need to call, invite her on a date, talk to her, try to get closer, and so on. But I don’t know any of this and I can’t…”

As a result, the guy is afraid to approach the girl, and if he does approach, he freezes and stands dumbly, making incomprehensible sounds. At this moment, various fears are spinning in his head, he is shaking, his lips are trembling, he turns red and simply panics. There is no normal communication.

It’s good if you come across a girl who understands and doesn’t immediately send such a guy far away and for a long time. But more often than not, girls also have their own fears! And it is the guy’s confident behavior when communicating that should relieve the girl’s fears. But if the guy himself is afraid, then his fears run into the girl’s fears and no communication comes out at all. And the loop of negative experience keeps growing. A big problem arises. And the guy is trying to solve this problem by attending various trainings on pickup trucks...

But the pickup doesn't help

If you have a fear of meeting people or being approached, then under no circumstances go to a pickup truck! Never! The techniques that pick-up artists use are still very raw and undeveloped. If you're interested in learning more, check out "Why Isn't My Pickup Working? "A pickup truck cannot remove the fear of a woman as such! But it can definitely make the problem worse.

The whole problem is that the guy who attends such trainings seriously thinks that he will be given a 100% working methodology, using which he will simply erase the old behavior model and replace it with a new one. In principle, everything sounds logical. But you need to understand one very tricky thing: the human psyche works holistically. She remembers a complete tackle. That is, the more you approach girls, overcoming fear, the more firmly the “approach = overcoming fear” model becomes established. That is, what is happening is not one model being overwritten by another, but an even greater twisting. And the more you approach through force, the more your old model of overcoming will become stronger in your psyche.

This happens because during the approach itself there is no psychological work to reduce the fear itself!

The psyche uses the pattern: I’m afraid - I overcome fear - I come up to meet people. And this pattern becomes stronger and stronger each time. Pick-up courses do not remove a girl’s fear itself!

At best, negativity is simply temporarily suppressed. But after a while everything falls into place again.

Gynophobia, or the fear of approaching a girl, often plays a cruel joke on the stronger sex. Having doubts when meeting someone is normal, but sometimes this develops into real panic just by looking at a woman.

Gynophobia - fear of approaching a girl

Overcoming this fear and learning to react calmly when meeting a girl is quite simple. To do this, you don’t need to visit psychologists or psychotherapists at all, but you can destroy your fear yourself.

Causes of fear

The fear of approaching a girl can appear in a young man’s head for various reasons. They are purely individual, since the main role in the development of a phobia is played by one’s own bad experience or someone else’s stories about it.

The most common reasons are:
an authoritarian, domineering, overly strict mother who suppresses the will of a small child;
an incomplete family without a father or when the father had no authority, weak-willed and too soft, taking on the role of a woman in the house;
lack of self-confidence due to past failures;
low self-esteem, which arose in childhood or appeared for some other reason in adulthood;
fear of women themselves;

lack of certain knowledge to maintain a conversation, etc.

Contrary to popular belief that only young men suffer from the fear of approaching a girl, it is also difficult for mature men to overcome this fear.

In order to overcome fear, you first need to understand its cause. Most often it lies on the surface. It may take some time to realize this, but it will definitely help get rid of the obsessive fear of approaching a girl. If you cannot find the root cause, then at this stage it is still recommended to contact a specialist for qualified help.

NLP method

NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming. This technique allows you to use so-called “anchors” to combat obsessive fears. An anchor in NLP is a certain stimulus or marker that evokes and holds for some time a certain subjective state of a person, an emotional association.

It could be:

the smell of perfume;
a certain turn of phrase;
some special gestures, etc.

All these factors are deposited in a man’s subconscious if they are associated with a particular woman in the past. A person may not even realize that it is somehow familiar to him and he is attracted to or repulsed by a particular girl.

In order to bypass these anchors and create new, positive ones, you will need to notice pleasant factors in the women around you and record them in your memory.

This method can also be effectively used to attract the attention of the girl you like. In a conversation with her, marker words are used that spark interest in the interlocutor.

NLP will help a man feel more free with a girl

Cognitive method

You can get rid of the fear of meeting a girl using the opposite method. Cognitive methods of dealing with phobias are based on the ability to overcome fear by experiencing the factors that provoke it.

Psychoanalysis

The fear of meeting a girl certainly has its origins. This fear is irrational and does not pose any real threat to human life and health. If a guy is afraid to be the first to approach or write to a representative of the fair sex, then a psychotherapist will support him in his fight against this.

A specialist will help:

Understand the reason for fear of dating. If it lies in childhood psychological trauma, then it may take a lot of time to find it.
Accept this fear and overcome it. In order for girls and women to cease to be something frightening and unknown, the patient is offered to take pickup courses or attend blind dates.
Secure the result with positive markers. If fear creeps in again, the man can mentally return to the positive anchors set by the psychotherapist. This is nothing more than a starting point.

The fear of approaching a girl is not an insoluble problem and can be successfully corrected over several sessions of psychotherapy.

But there are also difficult cases when one or two meetings with a specialist will not be enough. In this case, the fear is the result of other deeper fears and phobias.

Drug treatment

Sometimes the fear of being the first to meet a girl is a consequence of neuroses and prolonged stress. Constant workload at work or troubles in personal life make a person downtrodden and insecure.

In order to get out of this state, it is recommended to take sedatives or sedatives. Only a doctor can prescribe a treatment regimen; you should not self-medicate, as this can lead to negative consequences.

Most often, herbal preparations are used. They have virtually no side effects and are better absorbed by the body. Decoctions, infusions and alcohol tinctures are prepared from these herbs:

mint;
Melissa;
motherwort;
valerian;
chamomile;
St. John's wort;
Linden;
thyme.

If there is severe emotional stress, the doctor may prescribe tranquilizers or antidepressants. Their huge disadvantage is that they are addictive, and if the dosage is exceeded, they have strong side effects.

Herbal decoction is an excellent sedative

Conclusion

The fear of approaching a girl is a problem for many men, regardless of age, social status and financial situation. Lack of self-confidence most often occurs in adolescents, as well as men after 35 years of age.

You can meet a girl and start some kind of relationship with her only after overcoming your own fears and concerns in this regard. Positive experiences are often the best cure for a phobia.