Fear of meeting a girl. Fear of talking to girls

I remember the first time I met a girl. My palms were sweating, my knees were shaking, and a lump appeared in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. Her refusal flashes through my head. Before approaching her, I even thought about leaving there and pretending that I had never seen her.

I know that this is familiar, because everyone who is just entering into sexual activity or at least thinking about it goes through this.

But understand, fear is your biggest enemy! It amazingly fetters you and prevents you not only from meeting girls, but also from developing as a person!

Everything that you could show is hidden in the depths of your personality. And the girl cannot understand what kind of person you are. In front of her stands another guy who is afraid of her, who does not show himself in any way, and she doesn’t even know that you are a great lover and a good person. The result: another unsuccessful acquaintance.

Tell me is it worth it? Should we be afraid of the first and continue to hide our natural desires?

If you still have this problem, we will solve it today!

I'll show you, how to overcome fear of dating, using the example of a technique from NLP, only slightly transformed into a human (and therefore easy to use) version.

Take a few minutes of your time and make sure that nothing interferes with your ability to absorb the information from the article.

Let's go from fear to confidence!

Getting rid of fear always goes through certain stages, and before you move on to applying the technique in practice, you need to know where fear comes from. Because understanding the processes of its occurrence is part of the method.

1st stage – the beginnings of incorrect beliefs and/or fears.

You might have gotten the beginnings of fear a little earlier. Moreover, this was not necessarily experience specifically in dating girls.

The reason could also be something that is only partially related to the acquaintance itself. For example, at school a girl might talk to you rudely. It was so?

But understand, the reason could have been far from you, but you took it personally and began to think that you were somehow “different.” Fear is still in its infancy.

And it’s good if this is followed by a series of positive experiences that force our main character to quickly raise his self-esteem. Fear, as such, does not arise in this case. But usually things happen differently.

2nd stage – First experience.

At this stage, the guy is trying to get his first experience of seducing girls. The girls turn out to be not very friendly. As you know, they feel the inner state of guys on a subconscious level... and refuse them if the latter are afraid.

“Thanks to” an unsuccessful first experience, fear is consolidated and begins to be catastrophic.

3rd – awareness of the cause of fear.

At this moment, our main character begins to realize what exactly he is afraid of (up until this point there were simply negative emotions, but with a lack of understanding).

As soon as awareness occurs, the process of internal work begins. All that remains is to give this process the correct vector of thinking.

4th stage – rethinking;

5th – practice;

6th – positive experience = lack of fear.

Stages 3 to 6 need more detailed consideration with examples.

Detailed analysis of fear

In order to get to the bottom of the cause of your fear, you need to have developed internal sensitivity. But guys with little experience have almost no such sensitivity. Therefore, to find the cause of fear, you can use a small algorithm.

First of all, remember and very detailed Scroll in your imagination the moment of your communication with the girl in which you. Or that moment when you saw a girl, but were never able to approach her.

Do you remember?

Now start tracking where the negative sensations appeared that made themselves felt (at this moment it may deteriorate slightly or a lump may appear in your chest). Ask yourself: “What is the reason for the negativity? What could happen (worst case scenario)?”

Until you figure out what exactly you were afraid of, you don’t move on to the next step..

Rethinking

Now your task is change your perception of the situation.

For example, you realized that you didn’t approach the girl because there were a lot of people around, and you were afraid that in their presence she would refuse to introduce you to you, and they would somehow think differently about you.

The difficulty is that for positive rethinking you need to find the right perspective for yourself. For example, you start THINK in the following way:

“If I approached her, why would she refuse me? Do I have problems with my appearance? Everything seems to be fine. I am a bad man? No! Why am I having difficulty with this process then? Are there any reasons why she might be interested in me?

And so you continue to think until you feel lightness and confidence in your abilities.

If you don’t shy away from negative emotions (and believe me, they will accompany you while doing this exercise), you will quickly be able to overcome the fear of communication, dating etc. To make it easier for you to control yourself, remember to breathe evenly and be lenient towards your mistakes.

Working with Perceptual Filters

So that you are not afraid of such a scary name, which is borrowed from NLP, I will try to describe this process in simpler language.

Imagine in your place a person who thinks completely normal meet a girl surrounded by a large number of people. To make it easier for you to feel his emotions and view of the situation, try to find those actions that for you are absolutely normal and natural.

This brave guy you pictured in your imagination thinks it’s absolutely normal to meet a girl in a public place. And in the same way as you consider normal, for example, brushing your teeth in the morning.

And now take a mental step into his state. Feel how you began to think and feel exactly the same as him. Having entered the role, it is necessary to consolidate the result in practice.

I think a good example would be a case from my experience that allowed me to make a significant leap in the development of my skills. Moreover, it is possible to perform the technique and at the same time meet a girl.

At the dawn of my practice...

When I was just starting to actively gain experience, I wondered: “ How to overcome your fear of dating?. And I came to the method that I described just above by accident. In general, my experience of overcoming fear became the idea for this article.

Before approaching the one I met, I decided to ask myself a few questions. At that time I didn’t yet know that I was working with perception filters, but intuitively I was already starting to do this.

The point of my work on the internal state was acceptance what I'm afraid of and changing the filters of perception. Moreover, I did it at the same time.

I realized that it was I who was afraid (in this case it was the fear that the girl would “send me away” in the presence of others) and mentally said to myself: “Yes, I’m afraid. But that doesn’t stop me from meeting a girl.” After I mentally said this to myself, I got rid of half of my fear. Simultaneously with the dialogue with the girl, I forced myself to believe that I was not at all afraid of meeting people “in public.” It was something akin to acting, only it was more aimed at internal work.

That time the girl refused to meet me, but despite this, I realized that I had found a good way to get rid of fear.

At that moment when I received a refusal and noticed the joyful glances of envious people around me (at that moment it seemed to me that this was exactly how it was), I did not leave there. On the contrary, I stayed in the same place, forced myself to calm down, breathe evenly and sincerely believed that everything was fine with me. Frankly, at that moment it was very difficult.

You probably understand me, right?

But most of my subsequent acquaintances, thanks to this method, were successful. After about 2-3 months, my beliefs adjusted to external manifestations (which I controlled using this technique), and I finally got rid of fear. Although the main signs of fear began to disappear after a week of daily practice of this method.

Why is mental stimulation unnecessary?

In one of my articles, I already wrote about what does not bring the desired result.

Why do I stick to consciously calmly getting rid of fear? This is because overclocking takes you out of the normal state in which you find yourself every day.

Yes, this state allows you to get to know each other. But no development is happening! It is much more correct to be aware of your barriers and consciously change your attitude towards the process.

Yes, it's not that easy! But if you previously drank alcohol or used mental stimulation, then thanks to conscious work on fears, you will be able to meet girls without “doping.”

This is how one simple experiment led to the creation of a whole technique that helps overcome your fear of a girl. At its core, it is not new. But the fact that I described it in the most accessible language is guaranteed to bring you the desired result.

What helps you overcome your fear of meeting a girl? Write your answer in the comments.

If you liked this method of getting rid of fear, then click on the social networks button so that it will benefit not only you, but also your friends!

I know that you came to this blog for knowledge and experience. The fact that you are developing is worthy of respect. But information from one article is often not enough, don’t you agree?

Now I am ready to reveal to you those secrets that were previously available only to my clients. I will tell you, what should you do BEFORE you meet?, how exactly you should behave so that she wants to leave her number and so on. If you want to receive my personal dating secrets, then enter your e-mail in the form below. I'll send these materials straight to your inbox!

Some more information on the topic:

4 secret ways to meet a girl on the street The best words and first phrases for meeting a girl

Fear of dating a girl- This is one of the most common fears among young guys. In life, it manifests itself as a complete inability to approach an unfamiliar girl and start communicating in a relaxed manner. This leads to the fact that the young man is generally unable to have a normal relationship with a girl.

You've probably found yourself in this situation: you see a beautiful girl, you want to talk to her, take her phone number and invite her for a walk. And it seems that everything is simple! Come and speak. But something inside doesn't let you do it. You follow her and still can’t make up your mind. As a result, she leaves, and you begin to scold yourself for weakness and for missing out on such a doll. After all, there was such a great chance...

Fear of acquaintance manifests itself not only as fear of approach. It also appears as:

slurred muttering when talking to a stranger
increased sweating when communicating
slight trembling throughout the body
weakness in legs
and so on.

How is it that attractive guys who are healthy, well dressed, smart and have money have problems meeting and communicating with girls? Where does this very fear of a girl come from?

The root of the problem

It's no secret that modern society is clearly matriarchal. Boys are raised by women from childhood, and male education is virtually absent. The mother looks after the child, the kindergarten teacher is a woman, the school teacher is also a woman, and so on. All this leads to men growing up unmasculine.

Initially, the behavior of a little boy is significantly different from the behavior of a little girl. Boys are more confrontational and aggressive. This behavior is provided for by nature, because this is a future man who will have to extract resources and fight against others. But since women are the ones who do the upbringing, they usually suppress aggressiveness, competitiveness, and the ability to fight and resist.

Of course, this comes from good intentions. The mother is worried about the child, afraid that he will get injured. And there is much less hassle with such children, because parents are not called to school, the child’s clothes are clean. In general, such a good boy is growing up. The mother looks at such a son and is touched...

But it doesn’t even occur to her that she is introducing a female model of behavior into the boy’s brain. Such a good boy will turn out to be, at best, a loser pick-up artist who has no success with girls and in life, and at worst, a gay guy whose masculinity will be completely blocked.

Here are the consequences of matriarchal upbringing:

1 Fear of a woman. In the process of education, all rewards or punishments come from the woman. Accordingly, the child develops dependence and fear towards his mother, sister, teacher, and so on. After the boy grows up, such fear is projected onto other women. Why? Yes, because the child associates the mother with all women. Through fear of the mother, fear of girls in general is formed.
2 Fear of meeting girls- follows from the first problem. On the one hand, the guy’s masculine instincts push him to take active actions, but on the other hand, he is simply afraid of the girl. It jams my psyche. The moment of dating turns into a very stressful situation.
3 Fear of relationships. Even if a man has somehow overcome the fear of meeting people and has already decided to approach, the thought comes to mind: “Here I’ll come up, say the prepared phrase, take the phone number. But then you will need to call, invite her on a date, talk to her, try to get closer, and so on. But I don’t know any of this and I can’t…”

As a result, the guy is afraid to approach the girl, and if he does approach, he freezes and stands dumbly, making incomprehensible sounds. At this moment, various fears are spinning in his head, he is shaking, his lips are trembling, he turns red and simply panics. There is no normal communication.

It’s good if you come across a girl who understands and doesn’t immediately send such a guy far away and for a long time. But more often than not, girls also have their own fears! And it is the guy’s confident behavior when communicating that should relieve the girl’s fears. But if the guy himself is afraid, then his fears run into the girl’s fears and no communication comes out at all. And the loop of negative experience keeps growing. A big problem arises. And the guy is trying to solve this problem by attending various trainings on pickup trucks...

But the pickup doesn't help

If you have a fear of meeting people or being approached, then under no circumstances go to a pickup truck! Never! The techniques that pick-up artists use are still very raw and undeveloped. If you're interested in learning more, check out "Why Isn't My Pickup Working? "A pickup truck cannot remove the fear of a woman as such! But it can definitely make the problem worse.

The whole problem is that the guy who attends such trainings seriously thinks that he will be given a 100% working methodology, using which he will simply erase the old behavior model and replace it with a new one. In principle, everything sounds logical. But you need to understand one very tricky thing: the human psyche works holistically. She remembers a complete tackle. That is, the more you approach girls, overcoming fear, the more firmly the “approach = overcoming fear” model becomes established. That is, what is happening is not one model being overwritten by another, but an even greater twisting. And the more you approach through force, the more your old model of overcoming will become stronger in your psyche.

This happens because during the approach itself there is no psychological work to reduce the fear itself!

The psyche uses the pattern: I’m afraid - I overcome fear - I come up to meet people. And this pattern becomes stronger and stronger each time. Pick-up courses do not remove a girl’s fear itself!

At best, negativity is simply temporarily suppressed. But after a while everything falls into place again.

You either have a fear of dating or you don't. And you know this for sure. If there is fear, then there is no easy way to overcome it. That's why he's afraid.

It’s stupid to try to overcome the fear of dating by looking up to those who have never been familiar with this fear. There are guys like that. They are happy exceptions.

Don't believe others if they say not to be afraid. They may not try to meet women, since there is no need for this, for example, fate itself brought them together with the opposite sex. However, this is not the same as putting them in reality, where they themselves need to find a girl among unfamiliar representatives on the street and fear will make itself known.

Why is fear of approach so strong?

Fear- this is a manifestation dangers, and she is a direct satellite unknown.

On fear of approach Other fears are layered on the girl. As a result, this fear grows to unprecedented proportions.

So, to overcome fear of meeting a girl, we need to work on other fears that reinforce the main fear that hinders us.

“Minor” fears include:
- Fear of looking ridiculous and stupid;
— Fear of awkwardness, from not knowing how to act and what to say;
— Fear of public condemnation;
— Inferiority complex: “I’m not worthy of such a girl.”
And others…
When it's scary on all sides

How to do it is not advisable

There's a raw approach to overcoming dating fears. This is when you are thrown into the pool headlong. And you come in under stress. You do many approaches and perhaps more than one day, and then when you are left without a mentor, all your experience turns into zilch. You approached, but now you can’t. You seem to know that you can, but some invisible part is stopping you.

How to meet people more effectively

But when you work with your beliefs and change them, the experience gained is consolidated.

The process of changing beliefs cannot be quick. These are beliefs. This means that they are drilled into them as the foundation of “knowledge” on which all your experience is based. You cannot shift the foundation without destroying the building on which it stands. It’s the same with beliefs: it’s impossible to replace them just by thinking. This requires concentrated work with your head.

With the right beliefs, having fixed and memorized them, repeating them when you meet them, you change your philosophy of life. The foundation of your new personality is built on this. And the foundation, as mentioned above, is no longer so easy to shake.

We sort out fears

Let's briefly examine the fears listed above.

Fear - You don't want to look stupid

Beliefs that will help you change yourself:
- I allow myself to look stupid.
- Let others think of me as they want.

Fear of awkwardness

- I may feel awkward. I am a human and this is natural for a human. Let the girl see my embarrassment. It's possible she'll find it cute. Maybe she's tired of arrogant and unprincipled guys and is looking for someone like me.

Fear of public condemnation

— I act within the law. and do good things: I say kind words to the other person and lift their spirits. Everyone wants to be liked. It's okay to talk to people. It's normal when you like a girl. If a girl comes up to me and tells me that I'm cool, how can I be offended by that? So why should she? She will only be pleased. And the nice things you do to other people are only encouraged by society.

Inferiority complex - I'm not worthy of a girl

Nonsense. Why are you creating a Goddess out of a girl? Does she herself want to be the ideal that you draw for her? I doubt. She wants lightness, she wants to be anyone, including she likes it when she doesn’t have makeup on or is unwashed. I want to enjoy life and be accepted in a bad mood. She may use foul language and may like other boys. Who are you to hold another person to your standard of how things should be? If you don't like a girl, go to another one. But don’t you dare set boundaries for a girl about who she should be.
Her outline of a figure too good to even think that she might like me.

Why is it important to get acquainted with the correct settings?

When you hold such thoughts and approach to meet a girl, then you will have the desired professional growth. You will gradually say goodbye to previously purchased clamps. Is yours . Your personality will be stronger.

When you first approach girls to meet them, it’s very stressful. You won’t remember everything that you wrote down or thought about before. Therefore, these psychological attitudes must be thought out and memorized in advance! And key ideas need to be formulated in small sentences, according to the principle of one line - one sentence. These sentences, each of them, should convey the main ideas. Be sure to memorize them. And come get acquainted with these memorized phrases. Before turning to a girl, repeat the postulates to yourself.

Then you will approach with the right attitudes. You will be right and...

And gradually your fear of communicating with women, if it does not disappear, will definitely drop to a level where you can approach the girl you like.
Many girls are also interested in letting new people into their world

Is it possible to get rid of the fear of dating forever?

Fear will not disappear anywhere, but it can be greatly reduced and it will not cause problems. Even after 1000 approaches, each new person will remain unknown. Fear may stop showing itself altogether if you make dating your life. If you meet new women every day. But this is absurd. In the long term, there will be neither time nor energy nor desire for this.

Dating is like a sport, in the sense that as soon as you take a break, your muscles lose tone. If you have been involved in sports for 10 years, then of course you will be able to stay in good shape for a very long time. And if you worked out for one month and gave up, consider that in a couple of months you will reach the same level as at the beginning. If at all you have this month.

It is just as important how exactly you played sports. If you went to the gym once every two weeks, it’s unlikely that even in 10 years you will get any tangible changes. However, you will still have experience. It's the same in dating.

You can improve yourself greatly in communicating with women in one year. And it will stay with you for the rest of your life, if you then keep in shape. Fear, if it manifests itself, is often at the level of mild excitement, which is easy to redistribute - towards anticipation of potentially good communication.

Paralyzing fear, coming from somewhere inside and always manifesting itself at the wrong time, breaks the plans created. It would seem that you have found the one you were looking for, here she is standing right in front of you, but uncertainty in words and timidity in the body ruin any chance of achieving female attention.

Fear of meeting a girl is a common disease, characteristic of any age category, and what is most dangerous is that if the main cause of its occurrence is not identified, then there is a very high probability that it will persist for life.

We will analyze the main reasons for the emergence and manifestation of “fear of approach” in order to save you from this illness and give you free communication in any situation!

What is “Fear of Approach?”

"Fear of Approach"– a complex and individual feature that causes fear of communication with the opposite sex. There is only one way to get rid of it once and for all, one, but guaranteed effective method.

Read also:

Any fear, not just the fear of girls, is the result of negative experiences in the past. The same experience that brought physical or mental discomfort.

When, showing initiative and courage in anything, you came across “sharp rocks”, an unpleasant imprint remained in your memory, which is then imposed on all subsequent attempts to change the situation.

The reason for its occurrence could be not so much you yourself as the environment, namely: An unpleasant interlocutor who greatly insulted or offended you, a pretty girl who rudely told you off, or a friend who laughed at your idea, which you have since been afraid to implement.

If we strain our memory, then each of us will find in the secluded corners of our consciousness those very “dark” days through the prism of which we perceive the present and even future life.

But how can this be, if everyone has such memories, but fear of acquaintance, although many, but not everyone? This is an individual matter, depending on willpower, character traits and temperament. You can even strengthen this disease by saying that it is initially inherent in everyone, and overcoming it is your personal duty! But let’s not exaggerate the already dark colors, this is not true, but everything is exactly like that in relation to you!

How so? It's simple! A woman is mysterious and unclear, and the unknown always causes fear, that’s why there is a mystery, so that it can be solved!

Hearing the burning “No” once again means adding plus one memory to the piggy bank that you really want to get rid of. Vicious circle? Before trying to open it, you need to get rid of existing complexes and prevent the emergence of new ones. It's like trying to solve a math problem without going through the topic, and convincing yourself of your stupidity every time you get the wrong answer! It’s funny and naive, but this is exactly how it happens when communicating with girls.

Fear is not a physical phenomenon, but a defense mechanism of the body that makes itself felt every time you strive to conquer the unknown! In our case, the identification of universal mystery is a beautiful girl!

A guy who is ashamed of himself asks the question, how to meet a girl? - instead of asking - What do you need to get rid of the garbage in your head?

How to overcome the fear of dating?

The actual treatment process follows a very simple, but time-consuming formula: To get rid of bad experiences in the past, you need a positive result, at least once, this will be more than enough!

But how can you achieve success in something where you have been plagued by failure for many years? The next time the opportunity presents itself, when the beautiful lady you already have your eye on appears again, you need to “turn off your brain”! It sounds crazy, but now you will understand everything!

When the same or similar situation is repeated, the event or several events that caused your panic complex and fear of opening your mouth, the brain automatically reproduces “unsuccessful takes” in the subconscious. It’s a self-preservation lever that you can’t get rid of, but you have to learn to control. You remember the past, which stops you in the present, again I will hear “No”, again they will not support me, like last time, they will laugh at me again, and so on.

“Turning off the brain” means not thinking about it, just forgetting and forgetting about what once was. Relax, this time everything is new. Another woman, another time and perhaps even a different you, just don’t think about the bad experiences. It sounds easy, of course, but in reality it is not enough.

Until you get it into your head that the new girl is a blank slate, nothing will help. On this sheet you have the opportunity to draw and depict yourself in any way you want, to do and say whatever you want, of course, this is a metaphor, but the essence is clear.

If you don’t stress yourself out too much, don’t think about your own, most often imaginary, complexes, then everything will go exactly as you imagine. One successful time is enough for healing, and a long list of failures will fade into the background in comparison with the long-awaited success.

A woman can smell complexes, phobias, timidity of words, as well as bodies, from a kilometer away, remember this! To hear “Yes” from the desired lady, you will have to practice on your appearance, manner of speaking and behavior in society.

Fear of girls not only limits your communication, but also reinforces the false idea of personal inferiority. I don’t think it’s worth telling what consequences this might have. No need, they are afraid. You are not going to tame a wild animal that can tear you to shreds. And this is much more dangerous.

As soon as your spiritual world finds the correct and expedient direction, your body will no longer show signs of fear and uncertainty, since there will simply be no fear of women in you.

It all starts with the head, and while there is chaos and confusion in it, there is no point in playing sports in the hope of attracting attention with the body. Even an athletic physique and good looks will not give you confidence, because The reason for the “fear of approach” does not lie in a physical disability, they say, you are too ugly for her, but deep in the subconscious.

Think over your line, which you will say after the words of introduction. A well-thought-out beginning of a dialogue gives confidence and a state of peace.
Give a mental countdown from 3 seconds. And then just take it and come over. The brain switches itself off after such a sharp shock and no longer burdens you with unnecessary doubts.
Have a fight with a friend that you can meet a girl. You will either achieve your goal or lose respect for yourself, which is very unpleasant. You can also make a monetary bet for motivation, so that the desire to retreat from the goal will finally disappear, and victory will also bring money!

Additional techniques: how to tune yourself to the desired wavelength, from a professional pickup artist:

Psychology of communication with girls

To make a conversation with a lady as easy and pleasant as possible, you need to know and understand the peculiarities of their psychology. Learning interesting communication is not difficult, only if you have a goal and desire.

You need to be able to take the right position in any dialogue, namely to be not only a silent listener, but also to complement the girl, clarify and ask relevant questions. This is similar to communicating with a friend, the principle is similar, but has its differences. At a minimum the fact that Unlike a friend who can understand your isolation or silence, a girl is not capable of this. Here you yourself will have to set the tone and vector of development of the dialogue, make it interesting and fun.

Here are some tips that you not only can, but must follow if you want to learn how to attract female attention in communication:

Don't complain. Never dump your problems and difficulties on her; no one cares about them except you. Everyone has personal concerns, and that’s why they are personal, since they require independent solutions, and not public discussion.
Develop your horizons. Be well-read and erudite; the more information you have, the easier it is to win over those around you. First of all, you need to do this for yourself. As soon as your personal growth begins to differ from what it was yesterday, life will sparkle with new colors. Information owns the world, it is the most valuable resource, being a source of knowledge is always useful and profitable.
The conversation must be active. You should sound confident, clear and, most importantly, lively! Nobody wants to listen to mumble, while a good speaker can interest even a boring topic. Having mastered this skill even a little, the attitude and respect towards you will only go uphill!
Know how to not only tell an interesting story, but also listen convincingly. The girl should see your interest in her words, understand that she is interesting.
always pleasant to everyone. Don’t be shy to talk about the beauty of her figure or hairstyle, a well-chosen accessory and the smell of perfume. This way you will also emphasize your attentiveness.
A man must remain a man under any circumstances. It is necessary, if possible, to strengthen your authority with courageous and good deeds, to arouse some admiration for your person.
Learn to surprise. This is a good way to show your non-standard and originality. Nice gifts and interesting tricks are what you need!
Don't run after a woman, show your independence. Why does she need another errand boy? Be as imperturbable as you are, someone who needs to be conquered. Let her know that you are interested in her, but not by courting her, but by not joining her Fan Club!

General topics for conversation with a girl

In fact, you can talk about anything, as much as you want, anywhere! The question is how to achieve this result? In addition to good and close relationships, you need mutual trust and understanding of each other. You can overcome the barrier of permitted topics only by gradually getting closer to your interlocutor, and then the boundaries will be erased.

If during the meeting you couldn’t even put two words together, then, ultimately, you can spend hours discussing absolutely everything that surrounds you. However, you can start your first live dialogue with the topics given below. They will help you open up emotionally, express your thoughts and establish regular communication.

Examples:

Cloth. Ask what famous brands she likes, what clothes she prefers and, of course, compliment her taste.
Almost everyone has pets. A short story about your pet, be it a cat or a fish and why exactly them?
If your relationship is close enough, you can bring up the topic of sex. Discuss familiar couples, are they really suitable for each other?
Religion. One of the topics that you can talk about forever and still not move. You will learn well about the views, philosophy and method of life of the interlocutor, in addition, it is very easy to switch to ghosts, spirits and other supernatural phenomena.
Movie. Talking about films is perhaps one of my favorite topics when dating. We ask what genres she likes, express our opinion and say what we like, explain why, and then invite her to go to the cinema. The topic is very broad, you can touch on the actors and argue in the same way which of them are the most significant.

In addition, when talking about your favorite movie, your words will automatically be supported by feelings and emotions, you will enthusiastically tell what you think about this or that. An interesting and ideal topic, especially recommended by me personally!

Favorite books. Unlike films, if you express yourself harshly and carelessly, you can offend a girl. Since a negative review of a book is taken personally, as if speaking about bad taste. Of course, these are small things and the topic is certainly excellent. What can characterize a person better than unread books?
Hobbies. Simple and obvious. Conversation about who does what, likes and why. We ask about plans for the future and get even more interesting things.
Food. The most delicious, exotic dishes you've ever eaten. What is included in your daily diet? You can also invite you to a cafe or restaurant to try something delicious!
Favorite holidays and preferred gifts. Surely you will find out her birthday, ask what she wanted, what would be given to her. Favorite time of year, month and why exactly it!

Fear of girls is, first of all, a complex that needs to be gotten rid of immediately! Detailed instructions in the video:

A relationship expert teaches you how to overcome your fears. A must watch!!!

Gynophobia, or the fear of approaching a girl, often plays a cruel joke on the stronger sex. Having doubts when meeting someone is normal, but sometimes this develops into real panic just by looking at a woman.

Gynophobia - fear of approaching a girl

Overcoming this fear and learning to react calmly when meeting a girl is quite simple. To do this, you don’t need to visit psychologists or psychotherapists at all, but you can destroy your fear yourself.

Causes of fear

The fear of approaching a girl can appear in a young man’s head for various reasons. They are purely individual, since the main role in the development of a phobia is played by one’s own bad experience or someone else’s stories about it.

The most common reasons are:

an authoritarian, domineering, overly strict mother who suppresses the will of a small child;
an incomplete family without a father or when the father had no authority, weak-willed and too soft, taking on the role of a woman in the house;
lack of self-confidence due to past failures;
low self-esteem, which arose in childhood or appeared for some other reason in adulthood;
fear of women themselves;
lack of certain knowledge to maintain a conversation, etc.

Contrary to popular belief that only young men suffer from the fear of approaching a girl, it is also difficult for mature men to overcome this fear.

Previous negative experiences, such as divorce, mistrustful relationships with mothers, betrayal of a lover, difficult relationships in the family, force a man to be careful with representatives of the opposite sex.

How to overcome fear

In order to overcome fear, you first need to understand its cause. Most often it lies on the surface. It may take some time to realize this, but it will definitely help get rid of the obsessive fear of approaching a girl. If you cannot find the root cause, then at this stage it is still recommended to contact a specialist for qualified help.

NLP method

NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming. This technique allows you to use so-called “anchors” to combat obsessive fears. An anchor in NLP is a certain stimulus or marker that evokes and holds for some time a certain subjective state of a person, an emotional association.

It could be:
the smell of perfume;
a certain turn of phrase;

some special gestures, etc.

All these factors are deposited in a man’s subconscious if they are associated with a particular woman in the past. A person may not even realize that it is somehow familiar to him and he is attracted to or repulsed by a particular girl.

In order to bypass these anchors and create new, positive ones, you will need to notice pleasant factors in the women around you and record them in your memory.

This method can also be effectively used to attract the attention of the girl you like. When talking to her, marker words are used to spark interest in the interlocutor.

NLP will help a man feel more free with a girl

Cognitive method

You can get rid of the fear of meeting a girl using the opposite method. Cognitive methods of dealing with phobias are based on the ability to overcome fear by experiencing the factors that provoke it.

The fear of meeting a girl certainly has its origins. This fear is irrational and does not pose any real threat to human life and health. If a guy is afraid to be the first to approach or write to a representative of the fair sex, then a psychotherapist will support him in his fight against this.

A specialist will help:

Understand the reason for fear of dating. If it lies in childhood psychological trauma, then it may take a lot of time to find it.
Accept this fear and overcome it. In order for girls and women to cease to be something frightening and unknown, the patient is offered to take pickup courses or attend blind dates.
Secure the result with positive markers. If fear creeps in again, the man can mentally return to the positive anchors set by the psychotherapist. This is nothing more than a starting point.

The fear of approaching a girl is not an insoluble problem and can be successfully corrected over several sessions of psychotherapy.

But there are also difficult cases when one or two meetings with a specialist will not be enough. In this case, the fear is the result of other deeper fears and phobias.

Drug treatment

Sometimes the fear of being the first to meet a girl is a consequence of neuroses and prolonged stress. Constant workload at work or troubles in personal life make a person downtrodden and insecure.

In order to get out of this state, it is recommended to take sedatives or sedatives. Only a doctor can prescribe a treatment regimen; you should not self-medicate, as this can lead to negative consequences.

Most often, herbal preparations are used. They have virtually no side effects and are better absorbed by the body. Decoctions, infusions and alcohol tinctures are prepared from these herbs:

mint;
Melissa;
motherwort;
valerian;
chamomile;
St. John's wort;
Linden;
thyme.

If there is severe emotional stress, the doctor may prescribe tranquilizers or antidepressants. Their huge disadvantage is that they are addictive, and if the dosage is exceeded, they have strong side effects.

Herbal decoction is an excellent sedative

Conclusion

The fear of approaching a girl is a problem for many men, regardless of age, social status and financial situation. Lack of self-confidence most often occurs in adolescents, as well as men after 35 years of age.

You can meet a girl and start some kind of relationship with her only after overcoming your own fears and concerns in this regard. Often positive experiences are the best cure for a phobia.