How to behave if a girl remembers her ex. Why do we remember our exes? He's dating her secretly

Hello is Lesha Doc.

In this article we will talk about this topic “ Do girls remember their exes?»

And now I will answer the letter of the guy who sent me a letter with his question.

Click:

I will answer you personally

My personal email: [email protected] (everything is free)

And here is his letter:

Hi Lesha. Thank you for your experience that you share in your articles. The situation is as follows, I’m 24 years old, I met a girl a couple of months ago (19 years old), she’s very nice, started living together, I hear a lot of compliments from her in my direction, I don’t deprive her of attention either.

She is a real housewife, everything suits her, time together, everything seems to be fine, but there is a nuance that I constantly struggle with. Her past life haunts me, sometimes GUYS call or write to her, and she answers everyone.

And it’s not like this, like, I’m with a guy, but he says, I’m busy now, let’s do it later, he communicates on social media. networks (I checked), harmless correspondence, but with guys, who often invite her to meet her or go for a ride.

She doesn't tell them no, but she doesn’t say yes, she often remembers her cheerful past life, telling me about it, how much fun she had. She tells me herself that I want children and a family life and at the same time, unobtrusively or without understanding, she tells me how and with what guy she talked, how much fun she had with him. I’m not going to change my phone number completely, and I’m not going to change my acquaintances either, since good people are hard to find, maybe I’ll repeat myself, but it is what it is. What to do if a girl remembers her ex-boyfriend?

So, let's understand this situation.

What can you say about the girl?

And the girl lived a very cheerful life until she was 19, she realized very early that she was beautiful and are a huge hit with guys. And she became very interested in learning about their psychology, communicating, having fun, and having sex and various fun things with the best ones.

One guy entertained her, another gave her sex, a third showered her with gifts and compliments, the fourth took her shopping and to school. And the girl was simply in heaven, as it greatly raised her self-esteem. And also the girl received a lot of emotions and fun from all this.

But at the same time the girl remembered her mother’s behest, that you need to look for an adult guy and start a family with him, give birth to children and the sooner, the easier it will be for her in the future. And the girl did just that.

She found our boyfriend and after a couple of months she began to hint to him about that it's time for us to get married and have kids etc. But at the same time, the girl became terribly bored with our guy, since he did not give her as much entertainment as she had before him, and she was not able to have fun with him.

That's why the girl decided continue to communicate with your homies at the same time who are still pining for her and want to seduce her at the first opportunity.

Naturally, the girl will not delete anyone, and will continue to communicate with men and date them, since, in fact, the girl has not yet had enough and wants further entertainment and courage. And sooner or later it may happen that sex with our guy won’t be enough for her, and she will want new experiences, and will happily sleep with one of her friends on the sly.

So, what should you do in this situation?

Even if you ban her from everything and throw out her SIM card and delete all her friends, it won’t help you, because the forbidden fruit is sweet, and she will still find a way to communicate with her friends, and you will not know anything about it.

Plus with this action you will cause her negativity and hostility, and the girl will gradually start to freeze out, start communicating with you less, sex will become rare, etc. And that’s it, your relationship will fall apart.

If you allow her everything and listen to her talk about her ex, then you will be a loser in this case too, since the girl will understand that you are needy and can cheat on you, but you will still forgive her everything, even if you find out.

Therefore, in this situation there is only one way out, to break up with the girl and more carefully and carefully choose a girl for a relationship.

If you understand (on a date) that the girl has not yet had enough (she is constantly drawn to entertainment and chatting with other guys I know, and her phone is ringing off the hook with calls), then such a girl should not be considered for a relationship. Since such a girl will very quickly go through the hands of others.

This article is just a small part of what is on my site, there is a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics that interest you. You can immediately successfully use this information in practice with girls, without wasting your time.

Now I have 2 sites: the site and 4mentv.ru. At the same time, every week I I add new useful articles to these sites, therefore, in order not to miss them, add these sites to your favorites and visit them periodically. Now there are about 450 articles and 70 videos on 2 sites on topics that are interesting to you.

Articles by Lesha Dok (on the website 4mentv.ru)

By the way, if you want to be guaranteed to get a girl from scratch, then go to my new website

Click: Guaranteed to get a girl for a relationship

If you have a question for me, then write, I will answer you personally

My personal email: [email protected] (everything is free)

What guys say about the articles:

“Lesha, from the moment I started reading your articles, I changed my life a lot. If you apply your advice, then not only your relationships with girls will change, but your whole life in general. Now I live like a MAN, and the girls feel it))”
Egor, Moscow

“Thank you so much, Lesha!!! The tips from your articles are useful, they change your own psychology and attitude towards the world and towards girls. Now everything in my life has changed dramatically. Thankful to you!"
Maxim, Ukraine

“Alexey, thank you so much for what you do. You help people find each other, while breaking all the stereotypes of behavior between guys and girls. After your advice, it becomes easier to communicate with girls and live in general. It turns out that everything is simple!)”
Kostya, Minsk.

Some men even cry at the thought that the woman he loves so much wants to leave him. Women have developed intuition, but men also have feelings that we sometimes don’t even think about. Which woman has ever thought about what it will be like for a man after a breakup? Will he be able to live without us? Will he find his future chosen one, or will he sit at home and dream about his lost love?

Men perceive the departure of their loved one very strongly, and can rarely look at her calmly when they see their ex. Most often, they do not know how to react correctly to the presence of their, albeit ex, but still beloved woman. And most importantly, what do women think at this moment, how do men react when they see them? And this is very important sometimes when a woman hopes to return him if she does not find her future chosen one.

In our lives, it often happens that men have mistresses, about whom, of course, no one knows, or only those close to him know who communicate with him constantly. But after a while they part, leaving behind either pleasant memories or not so pleasant ones. And then men don’t know how to react when they see their ex-lover.

There have been many cases of such meetings. Here we should remember one, but it is very remarkable. One day a man came to a party that his friend was throwing. It was very good and fun until he met the eyes of Elen, who had once abandoned him. Their gazes crossed and it was as if some old and forgotten feeling slipped out. Nobody expected this. Half an hour later they were both gone, and in the morning the neighbors saw them leaving his apartment. It seemed that the love that had passed never left. He was happy and did not want to part with her. In the end, they got married and are still happy. But such happy endings are only good for certain cases, and in fact it rarely happens that Cinderella finds her prince.

So how do men react when they see their ex-lover? No one will tell you this, but it is known for sure that if their relationship was beautiful and tender, he will look at her with bated breath. It may not last long, but it is there.

Thinking about how men react to such a situation should make us think about what kind of relationship they really had. Sometimes it is easy for them to endure such meetings, but there are times when it is very difficult. This is perfectly demonstrated by the following couple, albeit former.

One summer, a man and his new lover came to the store to buy a new item for his new beloved. The entire staff saw how he looked after her, kissed her at every step and hugged her. It seemed that their relationship could be more beautiful, but... Alas, none of them thought that his former lover was standing nearby and looking at them with bated breath. She was in terribly pain, and he wanted to show her that he was happy. But according to psychologists, this is just for show. By this he wanted to show that he had found his new beloved. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to read between the lines of young people, to think why they are doing this, in fact this is very important. You ask, how do men react in such cases? Yes, in different ways, completely unexpected. Always look deeply into their eyes to see what's going on in their head. The eyes are the mirror of the soul, and they are the ones who will tell you how to behave in such a situation. And don’t forget that men are just as vulnerable as you.

It would seem that you broke up a long time ago, you began a new, completely happy life without this man, moreover, family life. But something still constantly makes you think about another person. The thought that you still love him does not enter your head for some reason: your heart is already engaged by this feeling towards your chosen one, and the relationship itself can be called ideal. So why does my heart haunt me, my desire to see my ex only intensifies every year.

Let's take a closer look at what could have given rise to such a desire.

Understatement. You broke up, considering it necessary not to dot all the “E”s; at that moment it seemed to you the best decision. And to put it mildly, I didn’t want to talk about the reasons for the separation. After some time, the feeling of guilt or even resentment has faded away, now you can easily confess to him what feelings you had for him, why you chose to break up or tell him that you once loved him. Perhaps, only by seeing a person from the past will your heart calm down, you will talk, understand each other and even become friends.

The only thing I would like to say in this case is to advise the woman not to arrange this meeting secretly from her real partner. It is best to talk to him seriously about this, try to convince him of the need for this meeting. Otherwise, you will continue to torment yourself with doubts and guesses. Letting go of the past is much easier once you have sorted everything out.

But this is far from the only option in which a meeting with an ex-man is necessary. Quite often, relationships end before they even begin. Which sooner or later leads to the idea that you would be better off with him next to you; as a rule, such an opinion is supported by the fact of getting used to a real partner. No matter how strong the feelings bind you, everyday life dulls everything. And it’s quite difficult to notice a real feeling among a mountain of unironed linen and dirty dishes. With the same man, a carefree life and endless romance awaited you. But this is just your guess. In this situation, the main thing is to understand that sooner or later such a crisis arises in any relationship and you need to survive it with dignity, without rushing to extremes.

In search of adventure or Indiana Jones syndrome. What woman doesn’t want to stir up a man’s jealousy, of course, in the right proportion. And who can make him jealous of you, if not a former lover, that’s right, no one. All that remains is to find him and insist on a meeting that does not exclude light flirting. Jealousy is a good feeling, of course, like a seasoning for your favorite dish, but you and I all know that it is served in minimal quantities so as not to spoil the taste. Therefore, think several times before taking this step.

But let’s not exclude a situation in which you really understand every day that you simply cannot help but think about your ex-man, then the only advice that comes to mind is risk. Try to take a risk, find him, give up everything that you have been building for so long after breaking up with your ex-lover, and if with such a thought you do not have an ounce of doubt about the correctness of this decision, go for it. Maybe it’s not for nothing that your heart reminds you of him so often.

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Question to a psychologist:

Hello! Just recently, my girlfriend, whom I met a few weeks ago, left me. I understand that the period is very short, but during this time I managed to realize that this is exactly the person I need.

At first everything was fine. We went on a date, talked about life, hugged. They told each other a lot of secret things. I was sure that she was interested in me, because she looked at me in a way that people who are not interested do not look at. Her touch spoke of sympathy. But then she started ignoring me. That is, not like that. She communicated with me, so she stopped, then communicated again. She started complaining about depression, but didn't tell me the reason. I assume that she herself was abandoned by the guy with whom she was in a relationship for much longer than a few weeks, perhaps we are even talking about years.

And then one day she told me to stop inviting her, but she never explained the reason. That is, she said that she was going through a difficult period in her life. And that I know her too little and cannot love her. But I don't understand why this is a problem, because if we continued to communicate, we would get to know each other. Is there a connection here with traumatic experience? Did she push me away because she was afraid of a repeat, realizing that my intentions were serious? Or did she still have feelings for another person and was just not ready?

You see, but she clearly had sympathy for me! Why did she do this? Is there anything I can do to fix it, to somehow convince her that I won’t do the same to her? I think she doesn't believe that my feelings are real. Or did she just need to get rid of the pain of the breakup and decided to take advantage of me?

Psychologist Yulia Kirillovna Popova answers the question.

Good afternoon, Alexey!

As I understand from your letter, you recently broke up with your girlfriend for an unknown reason and you are wondering why this happened. I will try to help you and my answer will consist of three points:

1. You called the girl your beloved, but most likely you are now at the stage of falling in love. And it is very important to be able to distinguish between these two states: love and infatuation. Love is a deep, multifaceted feeling that can leave a mark forever; it is characterized by stability and depth. Falling in love is dizzying and passionate, it is an intermediate relationship, and inevitably leads either to a cooling of feelings or to love. When starting a relationship, people get to know each other better and don’t always stay close. But this is the next point.

2. The reasons for the breakup, as I understand it, are unknown, which means there are two ways: do not assume what happened, but ask directly, formulating the question something like this: “We have become close, and I am attracted to you, please name the reason for our breakup, this very important to me". That is, you need to find out the reasons without accusations, sharing your feelings and, if an answer follows, try to accept it and analyze it. The girl’s answer will give us the opportunity to understand what to do next. If there is no answer, or if it disappoints you, you should take measures to cope with the situation, namely...

3. The extent to which you can cope with a situation depends on your experience and adaptability. In life, a person does not always get what he wants: refusals when applying for a job, failures in exams and other tests, losses, refusals in relationships, be it a friend or a girlfriend. your main assistant is time, take a break from what is happening to make it easier to cope with it, don’t get caught up in it. Try to do things, hobbies, don’t forget your friends. How you learn to withstand life's blows will determine the quality of your life. I realized that the breakup came as a complete surprise to you, but there are two people involved in a relationship, and we are only 50 percent responsible for them. Perhaps the girl really just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship after her previous boyfriend. You need to try to understand her and not rush things. Maybe she could agree to a break or a relationship as friends.