The behavior of a two-year-old child is in many ways similar to the behavior of a one-year-old child, but new features also appear in him. Which?

Speech mastery

One of the main milestones in the development of a child of this age is the acquisition of speech. As soon as a little person learns to formulate his desires and thoughts, he moves to a new level. In general, between 2 and 3.5 years, when phrasal speech should normally appear, there is less crying and frustration.

And yet, the child will master the full volume of his native language later, only by the age of 4. So far, not every child can formulate his every desire or condition. And this can give rise to a variety of discontent and frustrations. It’s very disappointing when you want to talk about what book you should read, but no one understands you. Or you ask to wear a purple blouse, but no one reacts, and they also ask: “What, what?”

All this can cause great frustration, screaming and even such vivid forms of behavior as hysterics and throwing on the floor.

Normal tantrums: how to deal with them?

On average, once a week you can expect a child of this age to be upset to the point of tears. Hysterics occurring up to 2-3 times a week can be considered the norm - much depends on the temperament and intensity of the child’s development. But if hysterics and tears are repeated up to 2-3 times a day, then the baby is either going through a critical period of development or is experiencing prolonged stress. If neither one nor the other is true, then you should contact a specialist: a neurologist, or a psychologist, or a homeopath.

Only future phlegmatic people manage without irritation and hysterics at the age of 2-3 years. That is, parents should prepare themselves for encounters with episodes of hysterics and learn to react to them correctly and behave correctly.

One of the main parenting skills that is acquired at this time is containing emotional resistance, irritation and anger of the child. What it is?

Here is a fairly typical example: a child does not want cartoons to be turned off. Or he doesn’t want to leave the sandbox and yells about it. A situation that few parents have not encountered. What might emotional containment look like?

Firstly, it is important not to connect to the child’s emotions - not to start speaking in a raised voice, screaming and getting angry.

Secondly, it is worth explaining to the child in a calm voice in an accessible language what is happening to him: “Vanya, you are very upset, you are angry, you don’t want... to leave the walk. Many children who are 2 years old really don’t want to go home when it’s time for lunch. But..." And then you list your own arguments why you should definitely go home.

This measure does not give immediate results; on the contrary, screaming and crying in the first minutes after such an explanation can only intensify.

But the long-term, cumulative effect is very good: over time, when 2-6 weeks have passed from the start of using this behavior interpretation method, you will notice that the child begins to read not only his own behavior, but sometimes yours as well: “Mom is tired, mom wants to lie down.” Over time, the child's ability to better understand his condition, as well as the feelings and desires of other people, will only develop.

Why is this necessary? Despite the fact that our baby is already a speaking creature, the motives and reasons for his own behavior are most often incomprehensible to him. Even when the word “I” is already actively used, it is very difficult for the baby to understand and name the reason for his own joy or frustration. The child’s own complex desires and reluctances also cannot yet be clearly formulated. And here mom can help a lot, as a “children’s translator.”

Interpreting a child’s behavior is a universal way of responding to tantrums and other disruptions in his behavior.

Early and late speaking children

At this age, a lot depends on how large the child’s active vocabulary is. Thus, a 2.5-year-old person can pronounce complex philosophical speeches, or he may barely be able to say a two-word phrase.

And this determines behavior. That is, the psychological ages of well- and poorly-spoken children will be different if their calendar ages coincide. And if the child does not yet actively speak, then the characteristics of his behavior will most likely relate to, and this is not a developmental delay, but a variant of the norm. And the time of development of active speech is a highly heritable factor, and in each family this happens in its own way.

As a result, the child's maturity and the parents' demands on him between 2 and 3 years depend on how well the child speaks. And often for those children who began to speak early, parental demands are too high, and these demands sometimes become an unbearable psychological burden for the little person.

Love of tradition and the importance of routine

The child’s nervous system still retains features of a tendency toward inertia. This is not as pronounced as between one and two years, especially when the baby begins to speak freely, but it is quite noticeable. Young children are big conservatives and do not like innovations in food, clothing, the arrangement of toys and the sequence of events during the day. It is difficult for a child of this age to offer not only a new, unfamiliar dish, but also familiar food in unfamiliar dishes.

And during weekends and vacations, when the usual routine is disrupted, children can behave much worse. This happens because the baby is highly dependent on the degree of fatigue and the number of impressions. This is another feature of the age of 2-3.5 years. If a child is knocked out of his usual routine for one reason or another, and there are too many impressions, he will behave worse than usual.

And nothing can be done here. You can influence the behavior of a child of this age only when he is calm, not too tired, well-fed and not out of his usual rhythm - in the so-called “green” range. But if at least one of the conditions described above is violated, any attempt to influence the child will lead to difficult behavior or hysteria.

Excitability is a common feature of age

It is much easier for a child of this age to become overexcited than to calm down, and this is not an individual characteristic, but a general feature of the age. Many means of folk pedagogy are aimed at extinguishing excitement: nursery rhymes, fables, lullabies. We modern parents are often not very good at reassuring. We are committed to development and creating a learning environment. We were not taught to calm down. In general, it often seems to us that if a child cries, it means that something wrong is happening.

There may be two thoughts fighting within a parent. The first: “Children shouldn’t cry, we need to urgently do everything he wants” - this is from the repertoire of permissiveness. And the second: “How dare he yell, because I told him...” - this is from the arsenal of the kindergarten teachers with whom we communicated in childhood.

I am not at all a fan of children crying a lot. And yet, until the age of 4-4.5 years, until the control of the cerebral cortex over emotions and states of arousal matures, a temperamental child may have a lot of tears and screams. Not because you are bad parents, but because the child is that age.

And, of course, you should try to predict crying and upsets in advance, avoid them if possible, and respond competently. But in general, this behavior is normal and expected.

The baby depends on the emotional state of the adult

The child depends on the mother’s condition; he is affected by the so-called “law of contagion of emotions.” That is, the baby connects to the main, strongest emotion that prevails in the adult who is currently with him. And if the parents have a quarrel or conflict, the child begins to behave restlessly or inappropriately - not because he wants to, but simply because he cannot do otherwise. Psychological defenses do not yet work at this age. And therefore, it is useless to tell your baby to “calm down” when you yourself are nervous. He cannot create an island of calm himself, but can only join your island of calm and confidence.

Negativism and stubbornness are signs of growing up

The child’s own opinion and resistance to what the parents say and want from him begins to appear. This behavior is a sign of a 3-year-old crisis, and in these cases it is best to switch the child’s attention and turn the situation into a playful one (more on this in the next article). But if you start “butting heads” with a child, arguing with him on equal terms, stubbornness will only intensify, especially in temperamental children.

Peer contacts

Between 2-3 years, the child begins to show a steady interest in peers, their games, and behavior. The child singles out one of the children and calls them his friends. In my opinion, at this age it is very useful to attend classes in which children are present with their parents. This will have the maximum developmental effect, because the age of separation from the mother has not yet arrived.

Children most often at this time play not together, but near each other, looking with great interest towards their peers. This is the first stage of playing together, and the actions of other children should be commented on and explained to the child. This will help him further understand the behavior and relationships of other children.

Let's summarize:

When a child cries or screams, do not think that you can immediately “turn it off”. Emotional processes at this age are inert.

Take advantage of any opportunities to switch attention - this is the golden key in raising a child of this age.

Do not compare your baby with others: a child’s temperament and character are a lottery ticket, and there is little opportunity to influence him.

Every child from birth has an individual temperament, which determines the child’s behavior in the early stages of development. It is advisable to begin educational activities from the moment the child realizes his personality. The psychology of raising a 2-3 year old child includes advice that contributes to the versatile and harmonious development of the individual. Based on the behavior of a 2-3 year old child, it is too early to judge what his character will be like as an adult. He is just learning to manage himself, and his parents should help him with this.

Psychology of a child at 2 years old

Such a phenomenon as the crisis of two years is familiar to many parents of babies. Sometimes a child at this age literally transforms, begins to be stubborn at every step and show disobedience. With childish tenacity, he rejects any demands and, with the help of protest, asserts his “I”.

The psychology of a child at 2 years old, both girls and boys, undergoes significant changes. At this time, the baby begins to realize his individuality, he learns to manage his body and control natural functions. He understands that he is not one with his mother, but represents

To emphasize his independence, the baby resists any requests and in every possible way resists the pressure of his parents. Only by opposing himself to adults does he embark on the path of individualization. Parents simply need to survive this period, since without it further formation is impossible.

Features of the psychological development of a 2-year-old child:

• The baby learns to imitate. A parent or teacher is a standard for him.
• Speech develops quickly and vocabulary expands. The baby can perform complex actions at the request of the parent. He tries to understand what adults are talking about and take part in the conversation.
• He is not yet very interested in his peers. His favorite activity is studying objects, and at this stage it is necessary to help the child study their properties.
• The baby begins to master generally accepted norms of behavior.
• He is not able to plan his actions and actions. The child acts spontaneously, under the influence of an impulse.
• The baby explores his body and its properties in various positions and begins to use facial expressions.

The baby tries to control himself physically and psychologically (sits on the potty on his own, refuses to fulfill requests, runs away from an adult during a walk). At 2 years old, a sense of autonomy appears in the child’s psychology, which needs reinforcement.

Adults need to be patient and flexible. There is no need to try to break the child’s stubbornness, but you also cannot give in endlessly; there is a risk of raising a domestic tyrant. It is better to distract the baby, switch his attention to something interesting and fun. This will help avoid confrontation. It is necessary to praise the child for every achievement, stimulate his creativity and imagination. He must feel that his opinion is respected and that he is taken into account as an adult. But in matters related to the health and safety of the baby, you should be firm. He will quickly learn that in some cases it is useless to persist.

Features of behavior and psychology of a child 2–3 years of age

There is no talk at all about the correct behavior of a child until he reaches 3 years old. At this time, his actions are dictated by the characteristics of his temperament. The child may behave unpredictably, changing his preferences many times during the day.

Development of speech and articulation skills

At two years old, a child understands a lot and often speaks well, his vocabulary quickly expands. You need to talk to your baby as often as possible. It has been noticed that children with silent parents master speech much later. Phrases should be concise, but at the same time emotionally charged. You cannot distort words when talking to a child.

Children who have sisters and brothers speak well already at the age of 2 years. They express themselves in simple phrases about what is interesting to the baby. Older children use actions and commands in their games that require execution. This helps develop speech skills. This is not the case in games with peers.

In the games of two-year-old children, an adult or older child should participate, who initiates joint actions (for example, preparing Easter cakes, building a house). This will help kids act collectively, compete and interact through speech.

A manual on child psychology for parents of 2-3 year old children recommends:

• play games with imitation sounds. Kids love it and at the same time develop articulation skills;
• look at books and invite him to complete simple phrases himself;
• pronounce or sing complex words;
• study the properties of objects, for example, soft toys (color, size, temperature, etc.);
• learn tongue twisters and songs.

Differences in the psychology of a 2–3 year old child, girls:

• knowledge is better perceived step by step, they like repetition and consolidation;
• information is mainly perceived in audio form, so it is better not to show it to them, but to explain it;
• girls are partial to bright and beautiful things. For games, dolls and soft toys are suitable for them, with which they can act out scenes;
• they are sensitive to affection and need more affection than boys.

For girls 2–3 years old, you can purchase sets of dishes, furniture and household appliances so that they can play housewife. They strive to imitate their mothers and love to help with housework. This will help develop their desire to take care of someone and show maternal feelings.

Tasks for children who have not yet mastered speech

A 2-year-old child does not always know how to speak. This should not be a cause for concern if he understands when he is being addressed, fulfills his parents’ requests, and looks straight into the eyes during communication. He will definitely talk over time. We need to talk to him more, read books, sing songs to him. It is also important for intellectual development to use fine motor skills.

The formation of speech depends partly on the physical development of the baby. In addition to fine motor skills activities, he should be allowed outdoor games (riding a bicycle, climbing on sports equipment, stairs). It is useful to purchase a sorter toy with at least 4 different shapes. During the game, you need to name the geometric shape and feel the boundaries of the contour with your fingers. Place into the appropriate hole.

The boy cannot be limited in pouring water and pouring any objects from one form to another. You just need to first create a platform that is easier to clean. You can make appliques, cut out, sculpt balls and sausages from plasticine, and draw shapes. All these actions are beneficial for the baby's development.

Moral education

Advice from a psychologist to parents on raising a 2-3 year old child

Until the child reaches the age of 2–2.5 years, there is no point in punishing him. He does not yet feel like he is the culprit of the incident. He sees the result of his actions, but does not associate it with himself in any way, and does not realize how it happened. The only thing he will take away from punishment or reproach is that he is bad and is not loved.

Until a certain time, we must refrain from angry tirades and detailed explanations of what not to do. The baby still cannot understand them. At this stage, clear and reasonable restrictions and prohibitions are sufficient.

From about 2.5 years old, the child begins to feel himself, and he is already able to understand who is to blame for the incident. He realizes that some actions are good and make loved ones happy, while others are bad. But he is still learning to control himself, and from time to time he will continue to act contrary.

Often at this age, children have imaginary friends to whom they shift responsibility for bad deeds. This allows the child not to feel guilty about the wrongdoing. It is important to understand the motives for his behavior. To do this, you need to discuss the incident with your child and help correct the situation. This must be done in a calm, friendly tone, then he will not be afraid of punishment and will willingly explain what motivated him.

At the age of three, children often behave badly, defining the boundaries of what is permitted and acting to spite their parents. This gives them a sense of adulthood and independence. If you punish for misdeeds, then instead of obedience the baby will show resistance. It is important to be patient at this stage; over time, the relationship with the baby will improve.

Two years is a transitional age, at this age the child ceases to look like your sweet child and becomes capricious, his character and behavior changes. More than one mother has noticed that as soon as the baby crosses the line at 2 years old, her character turns into an obstinate disposition. Psychologists have an opinion on this matter - it is the crisis of 2 years of age that is one of the most difficult moments not only for the child, but also for parents who have not yet had time to recover sufficiently after the appearance of a new personality in the family.

Problems of raising a child at 2 years old

The main question that all parents ask during the baby’s first transition period is how to raise a disobedient child. After all, at the age of 2, all children become not only harmful, they experience some personality changes, they begin to see the world differently, not as before. The child grows up, and no matter how funny it may sound for mothers and fathers, for whom their children are always crumbs, they move into adulthood.

Parents will be helped by simple advice and knowledge of the problem; it is also not a sin to contact a child psychologist to hear information and read all the necessary literature about the transitional age of 2 years. It is not necessary to take your child to the doctor, but attending several consultations on your own means helping your child cope with the first problems of life, learning how to properly raise your baby, and finding a way out of some difficult situations.

At 2 years old, children become more reasonable, and their main task is independence. That is, understanding the world through one’s own efforts and studying the environment without the help of adults. And any prohibitions and rules only hinder development. The mother wants to continue to take care of her, but what about the child’s wishes? Give him freedom, at least partial. Prohibit only what threatens his health or future life. Try not to “mix” the opinions of strangers into your child’s upbringing (you can’t please everyone). Learn to listen and listen, this is extremely important.

Every ban for children under 2 years old is a serious blow to self-esteem and the desire to be independent. Children feel that their rights are beginning to be infringed, they feel discomfort, without fully realizing the reason for it. The brain responds by giving the command to act contrary to the parents, to resist in various ways. Whims, screams, silence and puffy cheeks, broken toys - all these are forms of protest.

One of the main unspoken rules for parents is not to blame yourself for everything, stop reproaching yourself. The transitional age of a child does not depend on parental upbringing, on whether you are strict with the baby or, on the contrary, too soft, on the number of house rules or their absence. Take this for granted, the only thing that mom and dad can do is read the necessary information and be prepared for the fact that they will have to ask themselves the question of how to raise a capricious child.

Crying and tantrums that accompany the age of two are quite normal, as well as whims and reluctance to obey your rules. Of course, try to give the baby more space, as well as solving simple and feasible tasks that the child can handle easily. At this age, it is best to start playing a variety of educational games, puzzles, and coloring books. Thus, the desire to cope with assigned tasks alone will be satisfied. You will help to gently shape the child’s character, and you will have to worry much less.

2 year old crisis

The opinion of psychologists is clear, it is completely why your sweet baby turns into a tough manipulator. It is in the period from one and a half to two years that the child involuntarily changes and begins to feel more mature, as he already understands some things for the first time after birth. He wants to know everything, but not by asking mom or dad, but on his own. Parents cannot allow their child to take such a step, and he will test their strength. The child throws tantrums and is capricious, cries and does not obey, because only in this way does he learn boundaries, explore possibilities and set priorities, and explore boundaries. Through scandals, the child tries to understand what limits cannot be crossed, what is generally acceptable and what is not, and only you can help.

It’s interesting, but all this will help shape your personality, character, and life positions. Frameworks are needed, set them right away to give the child a clear idea of ​​adult life, in a language acceptable to him. It is boundaries and support that will give the baby the opportunity to feel safe.

Don’t resist growing up, don’t indulge, but don’t deprive your child of the opportunity to turn to you in difficult times. Scold and prohibit as you see fit, but don’t protect it too much. The baby must overcome the resistance and obstacles that life poses on his own. Remember, if you have set a rule, you cannot give in under any circumstances. Rules are rules, and breaking them is fraught with punishment or a stern conversation, which will be more effective than a slap on the butt or a cruel scream.

Understand that a little person, by the way, just like an adult, will always look for a way to get what he wants. This is a good character trait - persistence in achieving a goal. Depending on the development of the mind, the methods may be different.

Your task is to cool down the ardor of a child at 2 years old, that is, to make him understand that he will not achieve his goal by making a scandal and stamping his feet. Then the baby will begin to look for another method of influencing others, and when he finds an effective one, he will conclude that it is correct.

So let this method of getting what you want be conversation. Show your child that with ordinary speech and requests, discussion of the situation, you can get what you want.

Raising a hyperactive child at 2 years old

So how to raise a gi an active child, and even during his two crisis years? ADHD syndrome manifests itself during this period. Perseverance and calmness have sunk into oblivion, the baby has become emotionally unstable, harmful, and even a fidget who stopped sleeping, eating, and following house rules. This is a problem that parents deal with in different ways, some punish, some even beat, some follow the lead of hysterics. There are also parents who, following the instructions of “compassionate relatives,” can stuff a child of 2 years with sedatives and tranquilizing drugs.

No matter how unpleasant it may sound, hyperactivity syndrome is a neurological problem, and you should contact a neurologist or child psychologist for advice and treatment. Only an experienced doctor should make this diagnosis after conducting a series of tests. How to diagnose ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). The doctor observes the child’s behavior in his usual environment and conducts an examination of the child’s moral and mental state. Next, a series of tests are carried out using medical equipment. And although all tests and examinations will not bring pain or discomfort, it is not worth subjecting a child who controls his activity to this procedure. Perhaps it just seems to you that your baby is hyperactive.

The main unpleasant aspects of hyperactivity syndrome can be called a lack of perseverance and attentiveness, concentration and desire to do something useful, and sleep disturbance. Be led by whims, it’s not worth it. But you need to work differently with children with ADHD; it’s not just raising a naughty child, it’s a special approach, patience and endurance. This means that you will have to learn to recognize when the kids don’t need a hug, when to just drink some water and be alone, when to change the environment and activity.

Do not neglect group family activities, for example, swimming, go to pools or water parks, get your baby interested in sports, especially since water has the excellent ability to put the nervous system in order and calm it.

Be sure to download or buy a collection of good relaxing music for children, it will help calm them down. A massage, with a specialist or on your own, would also be a good solution. If the question of how to raise a child, especially during the 2-year crisis, has begun to worry and complicate you, turn to literature, a psychologist or a neurologist. A specialist’s opinion will always help you understand what your baby is missing and what is in excess. After all, education and upbringing, as well as affection and hugs, should be in moderation.

Raising a two-year-old child requires increased attention and patience from parents. At this age, the baby's character begins to form. The child begins to show his parents the first signs of independence, actively begins to talk, and is interested in everything that happens around him. Many children, as they approach the age of two, become uncontrollable: constant pranks, excessive curiosity, tantrums for any reason, ignoring their parents’ comments. All these manifestations of character make parents very nervous.

For a calmer perception by parents of this period of the child’s development, it is necessary to adhere to several rules:

1. Remain calm when your child exhibits any negative behavior. As a rule, at this age the baby throws a tantrum and tries to get his way. Parents do not need to show anger when such a situation arises, much less give the child what they want. When a hysteria occurs, the child does not see or hear anything. It is necessary to decisively and firmly take him to another room or go out yourself. As soon as there is no one to show the hysterics to, the child will calm down. After reconciliation, you must hug and kiss the baby.
2. It is necessary to develop a system of prohibitions. “No” from parents must be categorical and unanimous. For example, if dad said that you can’t climb on the table, then mom should under no circumstances allow it.
3. A child at this age fully focuses on the current activity and it is very difficult to switch attention to another. To do this, you just need to warn the child in advance about the parents' plans. For example, if a child is playing and it’s time to go swimming, you need to warn the child about this: “Now you play for another 10 minutes, then we’ll go to the bathroom.”
4. A child at this age may not yet be fully potty trained. There is no point in shaming a child, much less scolding him if there is a mistake or the child asks to go to the toilet when they just left the house.
5. Praise your child more often: for an inept attempt to wipe up spilled water, for putting away toys, for trying to comb his hair or make the bed.
6. It is necessary not to ban, but to offer a replacement. For example, offer an apple instead of candy.
7. At this age, learning about the world around us occurs through play. To teach a child any skills (brushing teeth, going to bed), it is necessary to simulate the situation with his favorite toys.
8. At this age, the right to choose must be left to the child. The child must decide for himself which playground to go to, which toy to take to the bathroom, which socks to wear.
9. Communication with peers is necessary for a two-year-old child. Children of this age learn a lot from each other. If it is not possible to send your child to a nursery, then you need to find a company at the playground.
10. And the most important rule that parents of a two-year-old child need to understand: the child copies the behavior of his parents. Therefore, adults need to set a positive example for the child.