Women are accustomed to believing that men are the stronger sex. Partly so. But sometimes they are more vulnerable and touchy. They are only blocks of stone in appearance, but at heart they are little boys who are afraid to hear “no”. But they will have to hear this “no”. And your task is to make sure that they swallow this pill without unnecessary bitterness.

This technique gives great results if you have met an aggressive and assertive man. For them, all veiled words will mean that their actions should be even more assertive. “No” should sound briefly, not in a loud voice, but with metal in the voice. Naturally, without insults, sarcasm or attacks towards the fan. A cold “no” and perhaps in a circle.

A frontal attack sounds clear, convincing and peremptory. You can simply say no without adding anything to it. Maybe with a little explanation.

For example: “No, I can’t come,” “No, I have other plans,” “I don’t have time.” And don’t forget to completely remove flirting, coquetry and affectation. Do not react to provocations and do not be fooled by delaying the conversation. You can listen to complaints and suggestions, but don’t object, don’t ask clarifying questions, just say “no” again.

This is the softest technique for refusing a fan. Your “no” should be followed by “I’m sorry.” For example, “I’m very sorry for giving false hope,” “I’m very sorry, but I already have a boyfriend,” “I’m very sorry, but I’m not that girl.”

The essence of the technique is that the woman must listen carefully to the man, showing her empathy and awkwardness, but in the end she must say “no.”

If your speech is sincere, then the man will understand that a polite refusal does not serve as a signal for a new round of courtship.

This technique is effective with men who are trying to evoke pity. Did they want her? They will get it. Such men tend to woo a woman by playing on her maternal instinct. A fan is able to pretend to be a hungry kitten that has been sitting under her porch for three hours in the rain, and now the woman simply has to take it home, buy it, feed it and warm it up. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially in this situation, you’re just very sorry that he got wet, but when asked to take him with you, answer with a soft “no.”

Lecture

This technique will help you refuse a man you have known for a long time. Suppose this is a childhood friend who looked after you at school, and now, 10 years later, the same fire of feelings has flared up in him. Tell him about yourself. Everything we experienced during this time: about my husband, about my parents, about friends and work.

Tell him in such a way that he himself understands that there is no place for him in your life.

Once is an accident. Two is a coincidence. Three or more is a pattern. This is exactly how this tactic works. You need to derive a pattern that your union is classified as “no”. For example, you are married, live in another city, and your mother will not accept him. It is difficult for a man to fight on three fronts at once. A pattern in the unreality of a relationship with you will become stronger in his subconscious.

And even if he moves to your city, wins your mother’s favor, and your husband moves, because it’s not a wall, then his subconscious will tell him that the other three reasons will immediately arise.

This technique is especially suitable for refusing: a man who is older than you, superior and wealthy.

Delaying time

“Call me in an hour, oh better tomorrow. No, I can't tomorrow. Let's call next week? Sorry, the whole week will be busy. How about in a month? Again, I can't. You know what, call me “never.” Yes, never. Would you mind calling me “never”?” – something like this should sound like a dialogue. And a man must hear and understand him. Reschedule meetings, pull the cat by the tail as much as you can. The man himself will get tired of this uncertainty. And an intelligent man is well aware that this temporary delay is nothing more than a veiled refusal.

This technique is suitable for communicating with assertive fans who do not tolerate objections. But over time, they may simply dry out on their own.

You can't knock on a closed door forever. In addition, they will not receive a straightforward refusal and will not feel knocked out.

Compromise

You can give your fan one slow dance, but during it, explain to the man that your future life will be without him. Give him something you can afford to take away the feeling of emptiness and failure from his heart.

If he says: “I either have everything or nothing,” great. This way you will be freed from the dance, but he made the decision. Moreover, he refused you the dance.

“I can’t, but my friend will accept your offer with pleasure.” A little pimping, replacing the lead singer, and it's done. Perhaps you can truly arrange the personal life of a lonely friend with an excellent male specimen.

When refusing a man, no matter how you decide, remove all feminine things from your arsenal. Don't provoke him. Men tend to hunt and conquer. Don't lure him into your traps if you really want him to get away from you. Any of your coquetry will keep him on a leash. If you use all the feminine charisma, it means that you need this admirer and the topic of refusal is not on your mind.

What to do if an unfamiliar young man who you don’t like wants to meet you on the street? Or a guy you know has fallen in love and wants a serious relationship? How to politely tell a guy off so that he doesn’t get offended and understands that there is no point in persisting. In our article we have collected the most delicate, soft, beautiful, original and tough ways to say “no” to a man. You will learn how to properly refuse a young man on the street via SMS. In addition, we will talk about the most common mistakes that girls make.

Most instances merge after simple phrases:

• "I'm not in the mood";
• "I have a boyfriend";
• "I'm married".

In the latter case, attentive men may notice the absence of a wedding ring. If it exists or there is an imitation of it, then the matter becomes much simpler.

There are also more persistent guys who continue to drag out communication, despite your refusal. In this case, you need to dryly and sternly explain to him that you are not on the way:

• “Sorry, but you’re driving me crazy”;
• “I just said quite clearly that I don’t want to meet.”

At the same time, it is important to behave civilly: do not shout or be rude. This may provoke conflict. Just speak dryly, make a menacing expression on your face. These words and intonations are enough.

But there are some individuals who do not understand even such formulations. What's worse is that they are often drunk. In such a situation it becomes even scary. What if I tell him now and he hits me or starts insulting me? To get rid of insolence, use proven techniques:

• Give him a fake phone number. But don’t give out your friend’s or boyfriend’s number, you might create a conflict;
• Take his number and tell him you'll call him;
• Find the nearest security guard or policeman and ask him to help;
• Say you are going to start screaming.

Several original ways

Sometimes just saying “I’m not in the mood” isn’t enough. The easiest way out of the situation is to answer harshly and rudely. But it happens that this cannot be done. For example, you are in a good mood and don’t want to spoil it, or the environment is not suitable, people around you may misunderstand everything.

In such a situation, you can respond harshly, but at the same time you must maintain culture and politeness. You can take the guy aside and explain to him in private that you are not a couple. The main condition for politeness is a smile and a quiet tone.

If this does not help, then you can use several funny and original refusals, this way you will maintain civilized communication and send the guy away.

1. Family man. Tell us about your family (real or fictional). You have two, three, six children, a handsome husband and a loving family. And you can turn the new gentleman’s insistence into an insult:
   • “Do you think I’m a slutty girl?”;
   • “In your opinion, is it permissible for a girl not to value her family and to cheat on her husband?”
2. Commercialism. Go straight to the conversation about money, find out how much he earns, where he works and who he works for, whether he has an apartment and a car. At the same time, show contempt for his achievements: “Ford is nonsense, a two-room apartment is f-i-i.” As proof, demand to buy your favorite ring with emeralds.
3. Talkativeness. Guys don't like stupid and talkative girls. What are you talking about with your girlfriend? Talk to your boyfriend about the same topics: dresses, cosmetics, stupid guys, your beautiful mother. Take full control of the initiative and don’t let him get a word in.
4. Silence. Don’t look him in the eye, don’t answer his questions, or say standard formulas: “Yes,” “No,” “I don’t know.” An advanced method is to completely ignore its existence. Leave all questions unanswered; you can pick up the phone and pretend you’re talking to your mom or girlfriend. Realizing that he looks stupid talking to the wall, the annoying guy will leave on his own.

Hard options

A real case from life.

-Can I meet you?

- No.

-Where are you going, I’ll take you?

– I’m looking for a quiet place for a grave.

- Which one, why?

“I killed a guy, I’m thinking of burying him.”

Some individuals do not understand either the first time, or the second, or the third. Sometimes a young man deserves a rude refusal because of his boorish speech or outright stupidity. To answer firmly and not run into conflict, it is enough to say ordinary phrases, but at the same time turn on metal and irritability in your voice. At the same time, it is advisable not to insult him, not to give him negative assessments, and especially not to swear.

How to correctly reject a friend or acquaintance who has fallen in love

The most difficult situation is when you see that . There are two main differences. Firstly, you want to maintain a friendly or warm relationship with him. Secondly, you will continue to see each other, if the refusal turns out to be unclear, vague, then the courtship will continue. At the same time, simple politeness in refusal will not preserve the relationship. Because it’s not rudeness that destroys a relationship, but the fact that you don’t like him. You need to send it carefully, but clearly and clearly, and at the same time preserve his self-esteem.

How to make a refusal clear:

1. Don't delay. If you see manifestations of sympathy and courtship, then either immediately decide on a serious relationship, or cool down your friend’s ardor. The longer you wait, the more hope your friend has. Then it will become much more difficult to achieve cooling of its pressure.
2. Don't flirt with him. Sometimes you use coquetry as a way to cheer up a man and maintain a relationship. But in the case of an acquaintance in love, this will fuel his hopes. Your refusal will not produce the desired result.
3. Speak seriously. You can't smile, but speak with warmth and love. In order not to offend, apologize to him, explain that you do not want to offend him. You can smile and joke after he says that he understands everything.

Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We recommend watching free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women." You will receive a step-by-step 12-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for many years.

The video course is free. To watch, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the video.

How to make a refusal soft and tactful:

1. Get some privacy. Of course, you can’t do this in public, and especially in front of mutual friends. You can take him aside, or you can offer to take a walk together. Another option is to explain yourself in personal correspondence on social networks.
2. Polite, but specific. Apologies and assurances of friendly sympathy can easily smooth out the situation. But at the same time, you don’t need to create the impression that you like him as a man.
3. Praise him, appreciate his friendship. You can’t praise him on all counts, just say a couple of compliments. But friendship with him can be praised 100%. Remind him how you helped each other, how you overcame various problems together, how much fun you had communicating.

Formulations. The most important thing is to choose the correct wording for the “main phrase” so that the refusal is not offensive.

In order to “sweeten the pill” you can give it to a young man. This will help improve relationships.

How to properly send a guy off via text or text?

The easiest way to refuse a pen pal is to write a message on the Internet (on Odnoklassniki or VK) or SMS. You save time, you can refuse in one phrase, and failure does not bring discomfort. In this case, two refusal strategies are used.

1. Polite, but long refusal. You can pretend to be a busy person, you work two jobs, have children, and something is constantly happening in your life. Over time, he will get tired of it, and he will stop pestering you. But another outcome is also possible - he will understand that you are making excuses and a “serious conversation” will begin.
2. A quick but polite refusal. You can choose another tactic - refuse quickly and immediately. At the same time, it is advisable to maintain civility and politeness in communication:
   • “I liked communicating with you, but we are not suitable for each other”;
   • “I’m not in the mood for meetings and relationships, sorry”;
   • “I have already found a young man”;
   • “I sorted myself out and realized that we are not a couple.”

How to beautifully refuse an ex-boyfriend

The most common mistake is a harsh and abrupt refusal. Or vice versa, too soft and unstable. Choose the golden mean - a quiet, cold conversation, complete indifference and insensitivity. It will be difficult if you, but still retain sympathy for him. Then it is better to refuse at a distance, by correspondence or SMS.

To give weight to a refusal, you can give reasons for it. List what you don't like and why you decided to end the relationship forever. Does he not take care of himself, is he too harsh with your loved ones, does he not make compromises? When he begins to assure you that he has changed, explain to him that it is too late.

You cannot get personal or criticize. This will cause unnecessary emotions and lead to a quarrel. Build polite communication, a clear refusal in your head and follow this plan. Try to avoid irritability in your voice. To avoid getting angry yourself, do not get involved in discussions of cause and effect. They explained their position, said goodbye and parted ways.

Common Mistakes

According to psychologists, girls make 3 classic mistakes when they refuse a guy.

1. Lack of specifics. Girls often try to behave politely and maintain a warm relationship. But at the same time they confuse politeness and sympathy for a person with abstract hints. Speak directly, explain what you want your relationship with him to be like.
2. The opposite behavior. That is, turn the guy off and a minute later wink and smile. This creates the impression that your refusal is just a joke. In this case, the guy will begin to achieve with double tenacity. This mistake is often made with friends and acquaintances. I would like to continue friendly relations and make amends. As a way to maintain relationships, they choose coquetry.
3. Play for time. This applies not only to delaying a “serious conversation”, but also to refusals like “I don’t have time right now.” Such formulations temporarily relieve you of unnecessary attention, but later the situation will return to its previous course.
4. Harshness and insults. Girls make this mistake when a boyfriend doesn’t understand half-hints and polite refusals. Why ruin a relationship with a person? Maybe your paths will cross, and he will be useful to you. What if you like him later? It will be very difficult to establish relationships after a rude refusal.

In this article we will look at an important issue that will interest many women. In it we will tell you how to politely and tactfully refuse a guy.

Refusing a gentleman without causing him pain is quite difficult. Men, in general, take women’s refusals to heart, especially if their love and passion are strong enough. Therefore, it is advisable to do this tactfully and discreetly. Even if a young man is free and is a potential partner, he must be refused delicately.

How to beautifully and politely refuse a meeting with a man or guy, so as not to offend him: words, phrases, dialogue

Sometimes you need to refuse a meeting not only from a good friend, but also from a guy you barely know if he decides to ask you out on a date. If you agree and realize that you didn’t like the guy during the date, you need to come up with something to refuse him.

• When saying goodbye, you shouldn’t make promises to him.
• If you can’t say it directly, then don’t answer his calls for a while. The man himself will understand that you don’t want to go on the next date.
• After receiving a message from a guy, politely write him an email and thank him for a good time spent. Tell him this: “At the moment I do not have the opportunity to meet with you.”

It is very easy to refuse a date to a stranger from a dating site. If a man asks you to politely meet, and you communicate well with him, then in such a case it is necessary to refuse also politely: “It’s a shame, but I really don’t have time for meetings. Crash at work. Give me your phone number, I’ll call you when the time is right.” But, if a man is very annoying and hints at intimacy, then first refuse the invitation to visit him, then simply block his account.

To a stranger who decides to meet you on the street and ask you out on a date, refuse politely by saying the following:

• “Excuse me, but I already have a beloved man. And I don't look at other men. You are, of course, attractive, but you must understand me too.”
• “I don’t want to meet with you. There's just no desire. For what reason, I don’t want to say. I don’t want to go on a date with you.”
• “Okay, we can meet. When? So, on Wednesday I won’t be able to, I’m leaving, and on Thursday I’ll still be traveling. It’s possible on Saturday, let me call you.”
• “I’m sorry, you’re an attractive guy, but I prefer blondes (brunettes, redheads). No, you shouldn't even try, sorry. If you want, we can remain friends."

If an adult man asks you out on a date, politely decline the meeting: “Sorry, but I prefer people my own age.” To a man who is married and harasses you at work, apologize for your behavior. Perhaps he thought that he had a chance of meeting and connecting. Tell him: “I respect family ties and marriage is sacred to me.”

If your boss invited you on a date, politely explain the whole situation to him, say: “I’m very worried about my own workplace at the moment, so I can’t meet with you.” If your boss offers to promote you after the date, thank him and say: “I am an ambitious person and am used to independently achieving my goal.”

How to properly, correctly, politely, tactfully refuse to communicate with a man or guy so as not to offend him: words, phrases, dialogue

Almost all ladies encounter persistent admirers. Afraid of causing pain and offense to a man, ladies refuse him civilly and carefully move away. However, this approach can sometimes bring additional problems. A man, if his feelings are very strong, may begin to hint at suicide and threaten his chosen one. What to do in this case?

Psychologists advise saying “no” right away. But this must be done politely, following the following rules:

• Refuse tactfully, be friendly. A man who has been rejected by a lady forgets about politeness, sometimes even love turns into hatred at one moment. Such a gentleman may even begin to insult and physically assault. Therefore, don't take risks. In such a situation, it is advisable to wait until the “fire” in the man goes out.
• Be firm, be decisive. Today, people very often meet on the Internet. After some time, such relationships move into the real world. If after the meeting there is no sympathy in your soul, it is advisable to immediately tell the man this and break off all relations with him.
• Start explaining yourself right away. Having received an invitation to a meeting from a fan, give a direct answer and deny the possibility of a further relationship. Never use a phrase like, “Let's hang out next week,” or “Can I think about it for a moment?” These phrases will give your companion hope and will only complicate the situation.
• State the reason why you are refusing. Here you can refer to the estate of another man. Tell him that your faith does not allow you to make new acquaintances and communicate with another young man. This must be said loyally. Sometimes even humorous phrases help so that the partner does not get offended.

• Give your partner an accurate answer. Don't start a long, emotional monologue. Explain this to the man briefly so that he does not have unnecessary questions, so that he understands everything right away.
• Be serious with no chance for flirting. Very often, women tell their partners, but do not notice their own coquetry at all. Men begin to perceive this as decisive action. Therefore, refuse your partner by preparing in advance.
• Ignore very persistent people. If a man is very loving, just ignore him. Step back and emphasize your coldness.

We offer you several phrases with which you can refuse communication with a man. In this case, you will have to take into account the type of man himself:

Stranger

For a stranger, the following phrases are suitable:

• “Forgive me, but my husband will not approve of our communication with you.”
• “Sorry, but I don’t have time to communicate; I need to pick up my daughter from school.”

An acquaintance who shows affection

First, decide whether you need a relationship with this man. If you just want to be friends with a guy, talk to him calmly. Say that his attention is dear to you, but there can never be a relationship between you.

• “You are a good person, but I already love someone else. If you want, we can be good comrades.”

A friend who suddenly fell in love with you

Long-term friendship eventually becomes attachment. Consequently, a man may suddenly decide to announce to you that he is passionately in love with you. In such a situation, have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Tell him the following:

• “You are a dear person to me, but I am in love with someone else. We won’t be able to communicate with you.”
• “I love talking to you because you are my friend. But there can’t be anything serious between us.”

Former lover who wants to reconnect

• “My preferences have changed a little, and therefore we won’t make a couple anymore.”
• “I no longer experience the feelings I had before. You can still meet the woman you love.”

How to correctly, correctly, politely refuse a man or guy a date, so as not to offend him: words, phrases, dialogue

Any woman faces a situation when she needs to politely refuse a date, sometimes even just say “no.” If you have no idea what exactly to do in such a case, use our advice.

• Speak convincingly. Your words must be clear. Often men do not want to accept a woman’s refusal, especially if it is not convincing and sounds “weak.” When talking, try not to use various feminine tricks: don’t straighten your hair, don’t show your neck to a man, don’t play with a shoe. A man will definitely understand that you are against meetings.
• Don't promise anything. When choosing a suitable phrase for how to refuse a date, immediately cross off the following phrases from the list: “Not today”, “Perhaps we’ll meet”, “Don’t rush things”... It’s unlikely that his feelings will go away after this. Rather, he will perceive these words as a hint to continue the relationship. Be honest with him, say right away: “We will not be able to meet with you, and there will be no meeting in the future either.”
• Give him an important reason to refuse. Give reasons for your refusal. The most important thing is that these arguments are truly plausible, as well as respectful and neutral. For example, the reasons should not depend on the man himself and should not relate to his qualities.

The following phrases will help you refuse a date:

• “I try not to date men with whom I work at the same job. It is fundamentally".
• “Sorry, but my heart is already taken.”
• “You are a good person, but I prefer homebodies, calm men.”

There are a huge number of similar reasons. Here everything will depend on the exact situation you are faced with.

How to politely, tactfully, delicately refuse a man’s advances, so as not to offend him: words, phrases, dialogue

The most important rule is to refuse in private. Walk with a man, talk to him. Without witnesses, a man will be able to cope with refusal more easily. He won't feel so humiliated. Speak to your partner quietly but convincingly. Look your partner firmly in the eyes. Yes, it will be difficult, but it is right. If your refusal is uncertain, the man will feel it as doubt. That’s why he won’t stop caring for you. By following these tips, you will definitely achieve your goal.

• Be confident in your own words and phrases.
• Be firm.
• Avoid offensive phrases.
• Be laconic.
• Give your man an important reason.

Never keep a man in reserve. Perhaps he will meet that woman whom he really loves with all his heart.

So, refuse a man’s advances like this:

• “We are different people in you, so we are not suitable for each other.”
• "I'm already busy with another guy."
• "I'm already in love."

How to correctly, correctly, politely refuse a man or a guy in a relationship, so as not to offend him: words, phrases, dialogue

The young man, basically, after clarifying the relationship, does not return to this issue. But, if you get a persistent young man, then words will not be enough for you. You have to back up your words with actions.

• Ignore. You have already explained everything to the guy, you were very clear. Now you are not responsible for his experiences. Don’t try to be nice, don’t compensate for your partner’s feelings with your own attention. Reduce communication with a man to a formal level. Move away from him.
• Show your favorite one. If you already have a lover, then you simply must introduce him to the annoying admirer. If you are still free, ask one of your close friends to play your loved one. Since it is one thing to pursue a defenseless woman, it is another thing to face a jealous partner.

Having completed everything without mistakes, your partner’s feelings for you will cool down. But you will not ruin your relationship with him, he will not feel resentment towards you, therefore, your communication will continue.

If you suddenly meet a fan on the street, and he hints to you that he wants to start a relationship with you again, you can say the following phrases:

• “Sorry, I'm in a hurry. But you can call me someday."
• “There is a car over there with my loved one sitting in it. I don’t think he’ll like you telling me how you feel.”
• “I’m sorry, but I fell in love with another man. I only need him."

How to tactfully, delicately, with dignity refuse intimacy to a man or guy, so as not to offend him: words, phrases, dialogue

Of course, if you have not yet entered into intimate intimacy with a man, then you should worry. After all, refusing sex can offend your chosen one. But, if you don’t have strong feelings for the young man or you just met him, then you don’t need to worry. Say directly that you are not interested in intimacy with him. If you have been dating a man for a long time, but do not want to become intimate with him yet, then explain for what reasons this is impossible.

You should get used to your partner

• Many women do not immediately decide to have intimacy with a partner. Do you belong to this category? Then tell your man: “I need to realize that now you and I are a couple.
• I need to get used to you, to my feelings.” Set an approximate time frame, talk to your loved one confidentially and tenderly. If a man really loves you, he will not insist.

You are still a virgin, therefore you are not ready yet

• If you really haven’t had sexual intimacy with a man yet, then don’t hide it, don’t be silent.
• Confess to your partner: “I haven’t entered into intimacy before, I need some time to decide to take this step.”

You don't want to be distracted

• If you previously entered into an intimate relationship, but now you do not want to get closer to a man, then tell your partner about it. “I now have a lot of problems at work (at home, in my family). I don’t want our romantic evening to be ruined because of my problems and worries.”
• You can also say this: “This is not the right moment for tenderness. And I really want everything to work out just great.”

How to refuse advances from a married man?

Experts advise in this case to adhere to special rules. They will help you refuse a married man gracefully without offending him.

• Don't be rude to your gentleman, don't say that you don't need him at all. Say “no” firmly, but in a friendly way, so as not to offend him or damage a man’s pride. During the conversation, hint that you are not very interested in this courtship and you will not change your decision over time.
• Is your admirer an impressive person who likes to be constantly in the center of everyone's attention? Apply its "weak point". Such a young man should be refused rudely. Otherwise it will be a real tragedy for him. Shower your fan with compliments. Tell the man what a successful, interesting person he is. Give compliments among other people so that many can hear. As a rule, such men like to assert themselves, therefore, they test their own strength by “bewitching” the next lady.

• If on your way you meet an energetic and assertive married man for whom winning in sex is important, then act completely opposite. Talk to him briefly. Refuse directly, don’t even explain the reasons. Don't worry if the man gets offended. He may not react to your refusal at all and will not be offended.
• If you are bothered by a persistent “married man” who threatens you, then we advise you to start taking action. Threaten the man that you have a person who can give you protection. Tell him this decisively, don’t worry and don’t be afraid. Because only feigned persistence can come from a man, helping him to manipulate you. But it is advisable for you to play it safe in advance. Talk to your friends, ask for help. If a fan knows your residential address, do not return home very late. Let one of your colleagues from work show you around.

How to refuse a man, a guy, to tie him down, and he wanted to get married?

How can you refuse a guy, but at the same time tie him to you? Sex is, of course, good, but only if it doesn’t happen very quickly. If you are very attracted to a man, then for the first time refuse intimacy with your chosen one. Especially in such cases:

• If you were the initiator during dating.
• If your chosen one belongs to the category of men “collector”.
• You know that a man must go to another country.
• Your man is married.
• You don't know your chosen one at all.

The following conversation works very well:

“I am drawn to you, I may break, but I am a living person.”

- So why are you refusing? There is a problem?

“I don’t want to follow my own instincts.”

After such a conversation, just run away.

• Such an answer is worthy only of the most well-mannered ladies. You are a woman who should not be “widely consumed.” Such an answer will not offend your chosen one, but it can provoke him. A “bummer” of this kind will not stop your partner, therefore, he will have hope.
• Men are strongly attracted by the sight of a woman not wanting to claim anything. That is, show nobility, pretend that you are completely not interested in intimacy. This technique is usually used by ladies' men. You can tell your lover, hugging him, that this is just a friendly hug.

Remember the most important thing in this matter - people reach for what they cannot take. Until you give him the most important thing, he will be next to you. Over time, if his feelings are truly sincere, he will want to stay with you forever and will definitely marry you.

Video: How to refuse a man like a king?

It can be unpleasant to tell a guy that you're not interested in him, even if you've only recently known each other or have already been on three dates. No one wants to hurt another person's feelings, but it will feel a lot easier once you confess and the guy can move on. If you know what to say and how to refuse a guy correctly, then you can traumatize him as little as possible.

Part 1 of 2: Know what to say

1. Decide if you want to talk to him in person. If you are dating, then yes, you should talk to him in person. But if he invites you on a date via SMS or email, or on a dating site, then you can respond virtually.

This way it won’t be so awkward for both of you, and you won’t be able to see his unhappy face; he will also be able to maintain his dignity, since you will not see how broken he is, as if you told him that you are not interested in him in person. This is the easiest way to refuse a guy.

But if it's a close friend or someone you've been seeing for more than two months, you might want to call and figure out what's the best thing to do. Act like an adult and make sure you tell him everything yourself, whether you talk in person or not. If you ask one of your friends, he will be unpleasant.

2. Be honest about the fact that you don't want to date him. If you don't like this guy, you should be honest that you're not interested. If he asks you out, say something like, “I'm sorry, but I don't think we can work out,” or “I don't feel the chemistry, but I like you as a person. » Keep it short and simple, but let him know you don't want to date so he doesn't get confused or want to spend more time with you than you want.

He may start asking you for reasons, but you don't have to tell him everything. This will only make him feel worse, so do him a favor even if he thinks he wants to hear it.

3. Give him a good reason. If you don't feel the chemistry, you can tell him so. If you don't want to date anyone right now, say so. If your heart is in someone else, tell him. If you just don't like him because you don't find him attractive or interesting or whatever, don't go into too much detail. Although it’s not very pleasant to lie, no one wants to hear: “You’re not my type.” Think of a reason that won't hurt his feelings too much.

Decide in advance what reason you will tell him so that he does not catch you in a lie.

Don't say you like someone if you don't. He will understand very quickly.

Also, don't say you're not ready for a relationship if you like someone else. If he sees you hanging out or even starting to date a guy after you two talked, he'll feel like a fool because you lied to him.

4. Be firm. While you can act nice, you should make it clear that you don't see him in a romantic light. If you say something like, “I'm not at the point in life to date someone...”, he'll think you're telling him that he'll have a better chance in the future if he waits for a month or two. You shouldn't give him false hope, and although it will be easier for him for a while, it will only get worse for him when he realizes that there really is no chance.

It's true that the worst thing you can do is hold a guy back, so it's better to be too firm rather than too gentle.

5. Don't offend him. Don't tell him you think he's not smart enough, cool enough, or attractive enough for you. This will cause you to be considered arrogant and indifferent. If you want to politely refuse a guy, it means you think he's nice, so don't offend him, even if you think you're telling the truth.

During a conversation, your full attention should be on him. If you're distracted or checking your phone, he'll feel even more offended.

6. Avoid clichés. Don't say things like, "It's not about you, it's about me," "I think you deserve better," or "I'm just not ready for a relationship." All guys have heard this before, so it's better to be honest and not offend him: you simply don't have feelings for him. It's better to tell him that you never want to date him than to give him empty hopes.

7. Be laconic. Once you've said what you wanted, it's time to part ways, forever or now. He may want to continue the conversation and want to hear more and more reasons why things won’t work out for you, which will only make things worse for you. If you think this is your situation, prepare an escape strategy in advance, whether it's meeting a friend or running errands. If you have nothing to do, it will be awkward if you just want to leave.

8. If you want to remain friends, say so. If you're really good friends, it's worth telling him how much he means to you and that you don't want to ruin everything. This doesn't mean you should say you want to remain friends with someone you barely know; if you're not friends and you say, "I want to stay friends," he'll see that you're just trying to comfort him. However, if you have been friends for a while, you can console him by telling him what a good friend he has been to you.

If you're truly friends, it's normal if he doesn't want to hang out with you for a while. Of course, it will be unpleasant for you, but he may not be ready for friendship for some time.

1. Back off. Whether you're close friends or just in the same class, you should back off after you reject him. You can try to be friends as usual or ask him about his homework, but he may not be ready to talk to you as a friend. Don't be offended if he takes longer than you thought.

2. Don't act weird the next time you meet. After rejecting a guy, the next time you see him, don't look at him like he's an offended puppy or try too hard to ignore him. Just be yourself, act natural and be kind if he approaches you. If he doesn't talk to you, you shouldn't take the initiative because he probably isn't ready to meet you. It is important to act as if nothing happened so that he understands that being rejected is not a big deal and that you can be friends and talk to each other.

3. Don't tell everyone you know what happened. Spare the guy the embarrassment that would come from having fifty of his closest friends know what happened. If you tell all your friends that you would reject him, they will start acting strange and he will understand everything. If he's a nice guy, he doesn't deserve to be treated that way if he's just making an honest attempt to get closer to you. Try to keep what happened to yourself; after all, if you were rejected by a guy, you wouldn't want him to tell all his friends about it, would you?

4. Treat him kindly. If you communicate again, don't be arrogant or rude unless he deserves it. If he's trying to be just friends or treat you well, you can at least smile and return his friendliness. This doesn't mean you have to go out with him or spend a lot of time together, but if you happen to meet, just treat him like a human being. Don't flirt, touch him or be too nice so he thinks he's got something wrong and is getting a second chance.

Compassion comes first. He's hurt because you rejected him, and you should remember that even if you don't want to date him.

Be honest.

Don't try to avoid it.

If he gives him a gift, thank him and tell him directly that it is a friendly thank you.

Before you refuse a guy, think about your feelings - it may turn out that you like him.

Warnings

All guys are different. You need to find the right words to refuse him.

We stocked up on tea and cookies, settled down on the sofa, turned on our favorite TV series... and here he came, rude and vulgar, with the goal of immediately taking possession of you. Of course, he doesn’t understand Russian.

We did this once, twice, and then - bam! – and your man is no longer just your man. How did this happen? Is it really impossible to refuse sex without risking the relationship?

Calmly. I declare responsibly: it is possible! You just need to do it wisely.

Materiel

A man is a creature with a subtle mental organization, and it is not difficult to offend him to the depths of his soul. There are a lot of options: you can repeat no in a stony voice over and over again, without condescending to any explanations. You can remember the leaking toilet cistern and the stack of beer bottles on the balcony - you never know how many mortal sins there are?!

The problem is that a woman immediately perceives her (note, not a stranger!) man as a rapist and aggressor and instantly releases her claws. The whole arsenal of open and veiled insults is used. The goal is clear - the woman wants to be left alone.

But the consequences will not be long in coming. A man will remember that his attempts to make love invariably lead to quarrels, and will begin to perceive his woman as a source of negative emotions. His self-esteem falls, he feels that his beloved is rejecting him. And he goes to another beloved one - who is smarter.

True stories

Mikhail, 28 years old, 7 years married:“Our marital experience is, of course, decent. But every time I suggest to my wife that we make love, she rolls her eyes and says that it was just a while ago. But I’m not a pensioner and I want sex more often than once every two years. And it’s not even that she refuses, but how she does it. You should have heard with what universal melancholy she pronounces her favorite: “What, again?”

Victor, 35 years old, married for 10 years:“At first everything was fine. But not for long. Still, I’ll tell you, people who are going to live happily ever after should be similar not only in character, but also in temperament. Anya was never particularly ardent, but what attracted me, a young fool, to her was precisely the fact that she was untouchable. After the birth of her second child, Anya became quite the Snow Queen. He lies there, clenching his teeth, silent, like a partisan, and PATIENCE. And it is precisely the awareness of what she endures that kills me. Isn't it really possible to behave differently? I’m not a beast or a maniac.”

Vsevolod, 24 years old, married 4 years:“When Svetlana gave me a latex vagina on our fourth wedding anniversary, I thought it was a joke - and completely in vain. This was, as it soon became clear, a hint. I appreciate a sense of humor in people, but I don’t understand: if I’m too active sexually, and she doesn’t like it, why not just talk about it and find some kind of compromise?”

How to refuse correctly

Even if you forget that sex is not only pleasant, but also useful, that one sexual act burns as many calories as a fifteen-minute run, that sex prolongs youth and gives a woman beauty and radiance, you need to remember that you, lady, forever responsible for those who are tamed.

And if a man approaches you with a timid request to “draw him a lamb,” and you are not in the mood, you don’t need to force yourself. Decline. But do it right.

Distract. Offer to play a computer game or poker. Or you can order and watch the latest season of “The Big Bang Theory” (football, hockey, boxing, etc.). The man will be grateful for your time and will not be offended.

Put it off until tomorrow. According to sexologists, a man is worried not so much about the fact of refusal as about the inability to know when the next sex will happen. Therefore, when you refuse today, let him know that you will be happy to make love tomorrow. But don't be fooled. Lying is not good.

Offer a replacement. If your heart is breaking at the sight of the suffering of an unsatisfied lover, and your favorite series is just starting on TV, combine business with pleasure. You can start with light petting of your partner, and then quietly move on to masturbation. Your hands are free! And then, lo and behold, the series will end.

Talk to him. An unmotivated refusal greatly hurts a man's pride. Psychoanalysts say that a man directly associates himself with his penis. And if a woman refuses intimacy, for a man this will mean that they do not want him, and not sex with him.

Don't punish with bed. Never start quarrels and scandals and do not punish a man who has done something wrong by depriving him of sex. Sex is an ancient and typically feminine mechanism of influence. However, abuse of this mechanism will inevitably lead to a rupture. A man, by his nature, is much more often the initiator of sexual relations, but if a woman is offended or dissatisfied with something, she uses blackmail, depriving her loved one of pleasure. This behavior, psychologists believe, is characteristic of the hysterical-demonstrative type of women. And who would agree to endure a hysterical person even out of great love?

When to sound the alarm

If refusals become systematic, then no amount of advice or conversation will help. Because in love there are no good relationships without sex - this is the harsh truth of life, no matter what they write about high matters and platonic love. If a man is not an ascetic, not impotent, not asexual, he will never refuse sex.

The most common excuses women make are physical ailments. But, as a rule, this is just an excuse. Yes, your head can really hurt. However, if she starts getting sick every time a man is ready for love, this scenario of behavior becomes a habit, and the relationship goes to collapse. Figure out what is causing your reluctance. Talk to your loved one and find the real reason.

As for real physical ailments, lovemaking is precisely the best pain reliever. Provided, of course, that it is good sex and both partners receive pleasure.