Fear of meeting girls.

I'll try to explain everything correctly! It’s not that we don’t have sex at all, it’s just that it’s all quite boring and extremely rare for me. I’ve been dating a girl for two and a half years, at first we didn’t see each other very often, once a week somewhere, sometimes less often, and almost every time there was passion and I felt that I wasn’t the only one who needed it, but after 3-4 months she showed interest faded away, and I also wanted not only me to be the initiator in sex, but also what she did. It’s not that I’m so inaccessible and whimsical, but let’s say you can kiss me not only on the lips, I tried to talk to her about it somehow, but it didn’t give much results. In general, somehow we managed to find a common language later. About half a year ago we started living together periodically, 2-3 weeks at a time with a week break. In the beginning everything was good, but not for long. After some time, she simply began to treat me as a friend or roommate. Romance doesn’t help, gifts don’t help either, entertainment doesn’t help either, the only way is to get her drunk, not too much, just a little then I can get her the way I want. Now I have to persuade her to have sex, if I don’t do this, she will gladly turn around and sleep with her pug against the wall. And sex is only at night! And for the last month and a half she went to work, the work is not dusty at all, she just meets people, you can say she works as a living decoration! And now she says that she is very tired and has no strength for anything. I’m 23 years old, I’m an adult guy and having sex once a week seems crazy to me, maybe for some it’s the norm! I can’t persuade her to wear beautiful lingerie for me, sometimes I really want her to flirt with me. I tried to hint at it, I tried to say everything bluntly, to no avail. What finishes me off is that she blackmails me with sex, and not like “buy me boots and everything will be fine”, but rather on the contrary, something like “well then you won’t get anything”, usually this happens in front of friends and you don’t want to set her up, but sometimes you want to answer that nothing will happen anyway! And at the same time, everything except sex is excellent with us, she is clean, she has learned to cook, and in everything else we find a common language perfectly and there is always something to talk about! I can’t understand what the problem is, I take care of myself and I don’t seem to be a freak, but I can’t excite her with any kind of caresses. And for the last 2 weeks we haven’t had anything at all, simply because I didn’t push, at first I didn’t do this because I was tired of being humiliated, but now I just don’t want to anymore, by the way, this worries me too, all desire has disappeared , but increased nervousness has appeared and in general I am constantly tense as a string and ready to explode! I'm afraid to imagine what will happen next! Actually, I would like to know if it is possible to somehow awaken desire in her? Could this be some kind of hormonal disorder? It’s extremely difficult to talk to her about this; she avoids it in every possible way. I was already thinking about having a mistress, but somehow I don’t want to deceive her, I still love her.

Intimate parts

The girl said she doesn't want a relationship? This is complete nonsense! From childhood, the female sex is accustomed to the family hearth: dolls, daughters and mothers, plastic dishes and much more. For the most part, their main goal is to build successful relationships: some only care about money, while others care about love and mutual understanding. Therefore the problem is with you! As Pushkin said: “ The less we love a woman, the more she likes us!

"You're just not 'asshole' enough for her:

Yes, there are girls who are looking for a good guy, but not everything is easy with them either. Let's look at the reasons!

Why a girl doesn't want a relationship - 4 reasons

Of course, circumstances may be individual, but based on women’s logic and millions of guys who are in a similar situation, the reasons are always the same. After all, in fact, it’s not so difficult to understand a lady.

In this case, it is enough just to be a man, show your courage and not be embarrassed by public opinion. She must realize that you are different and worthy of trust. Be arrogant, stubborn, persistent, and even if the girl doesn’t want a relationship, she will have no choice to refuse.

Reason #2. You're just a friend (friend zone)

You need to make her need your communication! Stop spending all your time with her and looking for a reason to meet. Make it clear that if the girl does not change her attitude, she will lose you.
Let him be jealous - start hanging out with other girls, take pictures with them, upload photos to social media. network - she should see that she is not the only one in your life.
A frank conversation is ideal if she herself wants to talk to you, but sometimes you have to make the first step yourself. To do this, you need to take a rather long pause, supposedly time has passed and you are already a different person - here you will decide everything for each other.

Reason #3. She's using you

She only needs you as a driver: give her a ride, drop her off, pick her up.
They remember you when she needs something.
She demands gifts from you, trips to restaurants, cafes.

Do you recognize yourself? Guy, you are being used, there is no question of any relationship! It’s good if you sleep together periodically, otherwise run away from her with your heels sparkling. She will suck all the money out of you and will take advantage of your kindness until the very last moment, and when you cannot offer her anything, she will disappear as if you did not know each other.

Reason #4. You're not serious!

Have you ever heard these words from girls? Understand! Irresponsibility is the scourge of men from time immemorial; ladies will not be with you until they are convinced of your seriousness.

You need to stop treating girls lightly
begin to notice small details unique to her,
remember her birthday
know her favorite flower,
stop drinking and flirting with everyone,

Then you have a chance!

How to get a girl who doesn't want a relationship in 5 steps

Initially, you need to understand whether the girl likes you or not. Read about signs of sympathy. But even if everything is bad and she doesn’t pay attention to you, the situation is not hopeless! But is it worth your effort?

Success depends entirely on the preparation done. Without it, you will inevitably fail. (Confucius)

Step #1. First you need to find out the reason why nothing works for you.

We put forward a theory why she wouldn't want to be together. There is always a logical explanation, but you need to understand that sometimes they themselves cannot give a clear answer.

Step #2. Next, think over an action plan and identify the goal you need to achieve.

You must set a specific goal, for example: a kiss. And move and act based on the position: will it bring you closer to the goal or not.

Step #3. Make it clear that you are serious and determined (so that it is noticeable from the outside).

All her girlfriends and friends should understand that you are courting her, this will prove that you are not afraid to show off your feelings (they love this kind of thing).

Step #4. Make attempts from less significant (going to the cinema) to larger-scale (a serenade under the window).

Always increase the pressure; if one approach does not work, you need to use a heavier arsenal.

Step #5. You should continue until you start dating or the goal is fulfilled, or until you hate each other.

The essence of the method is: “Either yes, or total no.” If you haven’t achieved your goal, then you’ve tried everything and now it’s no longer possible to achieve it. Only in such a final will you feel like a winner, regardless of whether you got the girl or not.

I guarantee you, if a girl doesn’t want a serious relationship, then by acting according to this scheme, you will completely change her opinion, or yours!

What to do? How to proceed?

When a girl says that she doesn’t want a relationship yet, it means that you are not suitable for her, or she doesn’t want to date you!

You need to change your attitude towards yourself, and therefore change yourself:

change wardrobe (),
practice your diction and voice,
sign up for a gym
read a book on psychology

Anything that will make you more organized, restrained, courageous. After all, a girl wants to see a responsible and cheerful guy next to her, and she needs to work on this every day!

Surprise! You need to be spontaneous, you need to amaze a girl every time you go for a walk or see each other, always have an ace up your sleeve. Plan your events in advance and present them as a surprise, let her feel like she’s the one and only!

In reality you both want serious relationship, she just hasn’t decided yet, but this is a girl - she needs to be pushed to such a decision. Go for it!

For practical advice on relationships from a psychologist, watch the video:

Sometimes, the desire for sex disappears, and many girls immediately begin to look for the reason within themselves. In fact, most likely, your body is not to blame for this situation. Something just needs to change.

These are the reasons sexologists call for the lack of sexual desire in girls.

Resentment discourages the desire for sex

You will never want sex with someone who hurt you. And it is resentment and anger that are the first enemies of passion in couples. Psychologists advise working through a grudge immediately after it appears, otherwise it will interfere with a normal sex life.

You idealize sex

Some girls believe that sex should be “only special,” period. And when this does not happen, they are disappointed. As a result of several such attempts, you will not want sex.

Remember, sex should just be enjoyed: no more, no less. He can't be perfect. He is simply who he is.

You have sex just for the sake of the process, without pleasure

Many girls just have sex because it’s the right thing to do. Or because that’s what their man wants. Stop. Just remove sex from your life for a couple of weeks and think about what you want? Do you want it under the covers? Or maybe you want passion? You need to figure out what it is that turns you on. Then, realize your desires.

You can't relax

Another common problem of lack of sexual desire is dissatisfaction with your body. If a girl doesn’t like herself and doesn’t feel confident, she will avoid sex in every possible way.

In addition, even if sex happens, instead of pleasure, such a girl will think about her shortcomings. Therefore, remember, a girl should always like herself. How to achieve this? There are two options: change your appearance or change your attitude towards the problem.