Divorce statistics due to social networks. How social media is ruining marriages

There are so many ways to connect with other people using social media. But you shouldn't let your online life negatively impact your real life. A serious mistake in this case can cost you a lot. Here are a few things you definitely shouldn't do when you're on social media.

Don't post photos of people without their permission

People are very sensitive when it comes to posting photos on social media. You wouldn't want your friend or relative to post your photo without your permission, so why do the same to them? You may not think that posting a photo is any big deal, but other people may disagree with you. So just ask permission before adding a photo and it will help you avoid disappointment and negative emotions from your loved ones.

Don't use social media when you're not in the mood

Social media should never be used to belittle or insult other people, and posting rude and nasty comments is the first rule of bad manners. Not only because it might hurt someone, but also because it airs your dirty laundry for everyone to see. Do you really want the whole world to know that your partner cheated on you? So, it is better to use social media as a means to spread positivity. Many people like to see holiday greetings or interesting articles filled with meaning. If you are upset and feel the urge to post something unpleasant online, put down your phone or tablet, step away from the computer and let off steam in some other way.

Don't leave messages impulsively

Naturally, you're excited about your successful party, but posting a photo with your guests may not be the best idea, as it may offend those people you didn't invite. And while your friends might think a photo of you drinking from a beer bottle looks amazing, your future employer might have a different opinion. Always think about what you put online. In ancient times, people wrote letters and their delivery took weeks or even months, so people only sent meaningful messages, which they re-read before sending. Now people can send messages even while drunk. But once you leave your message online, it stays there forever. So before you hit send, think about the impact your message will have on your life and the lives of others.

Don’t mistake communication on a social network for communication in real life.

Communicating on a social network is not the same as communicating face-to-face or even talking on the phone. Human eyes are designed to look into the eyes of the interlocutor. The first thing a newborn baby's brain is wired to do is find someone's eyes and make eye contact. Therefore, interacting with someone in real life is much more rewarding than interacting on social media. Yes, you can start a relationship through a social network, but there will come a time when you need face-to-face contact. After all, you can't hold someone's hand or hug them through a computer. People don't notice the effect social media has on them. Do not forget that this is a virtual, not a real connection. In many ways, social media has made this world a better place, but people still need the touch of another person.

Pay attention to how social media influences you

Do you know how social media affects your mood? Or why do you use them? These are important questions to ask yourself because it's so easy to waste time on social media. Half an hour quickly turns into an hour, and now you realize that it is already dawn outside the window. In most cases, people do not ask themselves the question: “Am I doing this too long?” So you should check yourself periodically to see if social media is helping or harming your life.

Don't view social media as bad.

Spending too much time on social media can lead to an unhealthy addiction. But it is also unhealthy to criticize social networks, to be afraid of them and to see them as exclusively evil. When a person develops a phobia of social media and begins propaganda against it, this is a serious problem. This is no less harmful than dependence on them. In this life, everything should be in moderation, including social networks.

Don't share too much information

Social networks are public. This is not a secret page or your diary, so you should not share personal information with the world. Every person should remember that there should not be too much information. Please note that you may hurt the feelings of people you care about if you share too much information. For example, if you post information that should remain between you and your romantic partner, or if you discuss your partner with family and friends where your partner can see it. Every relationship is different, so you may want to talk to your partner before you post any information about them online.

Don't lie

Lying in itself is a source of big problems, but if you lie on social media, you will be found out very quickly. For example, don't tell someone you're in one place and then show through your messages that you're in a completely different place. You will definitely be caught.

Don't reveal important news prematurely

As sad as it may be, social networks replace real life with a surrogate for virtual communication, destroy families and steal working time. Millions of people spend more than 6 hours every day on social networks. Users attack the profiles of classmates, army friends, find their first love, etc., making up for the lack of communication, emotions and romance in everyday life.

Worldwide epidemic killing time

The audience of Odnoklassniki today is more than 30 million people, which increases by one and a half to two million new users every day. Mostly office workers. Virtual communication replaces all the joys of normal real meetings with friends and even families.

Every day, companies lose millions of dollars because their employees spend time on social media. It is almost impossible to combat this, because by banning access to social network pages from work computers it is impossible to prohibit visiting them via smartphones.

Why is virtual communication better than real one?

The exchange of messages, videos, audio files and postcards is reminiscent of some kind of incessant children's game with no final meaning. From this we can conclude that people addicted to social networks, to some extent, remain children who did not finish their childhood.

Social networks are very attractive for losers who cannot achieve anything in life. Such people love to endlessly search social networks for their friends from kindergarten, college, classmates, and first (second, third) love. Sometimes such searches end in a real meeting with a corresponding continuation. Such thoughtless emotional “searches for the lost” very often lead to even greater disappointments.

Why are social networks destroying strong families?

Many do not advertise their marital status on their profile, and accidentally added friends from the gym and innocent comments and “likes” on photos instantly arouse suspicion.

Unlogged profiles on home computers or smartphones with personal correspondence forgotten in a visible place cause the dissolution of thousands of marriages. Today, experts recommend that married people not register on social networks.

How does social media affect physical health?

UK scientists conducted a study that proved that adherents of long hours of communication on social networks have weakened immunity and disrupted hormonal balance. Sitting for many hours impairs blood pumping through the vessels and disrupts the thinking process, which can often lead to dementia.

The illusion of communication

In fact, according to psychologists, communication on social networks does not at all contribute to the development of real contacts between people. There is a replacement of real life, where each user turns into a battery that feeds the matrix. Living people, becoming “cogs” of an imaginary world, destroy their personalities in real life, actually betraying their family and friends.

Children deprived of live communication, who grew up with parents sitting next to them, buried in monitors and smartphones, are already experiencing enormous problems in building friendships and strong families.

Total intelligence surveillance

It is known for certain, and it is no secret to anyone, that intelligence services collect a dossier on each person, analyzing his activity on social networks. In addition, Facebook has patented a system that allows you to monitor a person by analyzing his actions outside the social network.

What will happen next is difficult to imagine, but we can assume that a moment will come when the user can be blackmailed with the disclosure of his personal information in exchange for receiving any services beneficial to the state, contrary to moral standards.

Therefore, one may not even think about the loudly promised preservation of the rights and freedoms guaranteed by the Declaration of Human Rights. What is most important is that by filling out a personal profile with information, a person actually agrees to it.

Personal opinions are formed by virtual friends

According to research, about 80% of social network users trust the opinions of their virtual friends more than the opinions of real-life friends. The consequence of this depressing fact is the “viral” nature of the formation of public opinion, from which one can “mould” anything by correctly launching the desired thought into the masses.

A person forgets how to consciously think, “swallowing the bait” and digesting it, without thinking about whether he needs it or not, turning into a puppet controlled by the powers that be.

The trend of going offline

Once upon a time, the telephone was a landline attribute that limited the possibility of communication to being at home. But once on the street, a person became truly free.

Today one can already observe the emerging culture of people who have gone offline, who have had enough of virtual communication, and who have realized the freedom and charm of real life. These people don't want their day to start with browsing twenty websites, posting links to pictures they like, declaring what they had for lunch and where they spent the evening, whether they liked it or not. Therefore, they voluntarily delete their profiles from social networks.

The amount of freed up time allows you to look at the world through the eyes of an awakened person who begins to notice the color of the sky and grass, the smells of the air and a lot of interesting things that you can do without causing psychological damage to yourself.

In fact, having freed himself from imperceptibly imposed “forced” contact with the virtual world, a person gets the opportunity to finally get to know himself, the real one. We can conclude that mostly people “hiding” from themselves on social networks are people who are not yet ready for such a meeting with their own “I”.

Among your friends, there are many people who fundamentally do not use social networks - not at all? We bet you can count them on the fingers of one hand. What about you? Is it easy for you to live at least a day without looking at Instagram, Facebook, VKontakte, Twitter? The personal world of each of us inevitably appeared as if in the palm of our hand.

It’s very easy to figure out a person’s preferences and “habitat” if he regularly posts photos from restaurants, cinemas, exhibitions, numerous selfies, photos of his lunch, impressions of his leisure time, quotes from public pages, favorite songs, etc.

It is believed that a person who is active on social networks is also active in real society. Without proving the correctness or fallacy of this statement (this is a topic for a completely different article), we will try to understand something else. The number of friends on Facebook or followers on Instagram affects not only our relationships with others, but also the stability of our home. Have you ever thought about this?

The benefits of social networks in family relationships

2. It is easier for you to organize general leisure time. No need to rack your brains about where to go together on the weekend. On the contrary, just have time to clear messages from invitations to a variety of events.

3. You and your loved one can be united in an instant by many common (but non-binding) topics. Funny Internet memes and pictures on the topic of the day spread across the Internet at the speed of light precisely because people share “viral” content with each other in order to laugh together. And in the evening over dinner it’s also fun to discuss the hits of the day.

but on the other hand

Lack of personal space within the family is a serious problem of our time

In addition, the husband will hardly be pleased to learn about his wife’s grievances from her VKontakte page. And given that information about the quarrel automatically becomes available to the wide (very wide) public, this can play the role of a fuse from a bomb that will ignite the main conflict.

Washing dirty linen in public for the whole world to judge (without exaggeration) will clearly not benefit your family’s reputation.

Friendship requests from ex-lovers

To spare their partner's feelings, some couples decide to exchange account passwords with each other. But this is everyone’s individual choice. If you value personal space above all else, then don’t. True, there are men who are ready to conduct daily interrogations on the topic of how you know that pumped-up brunette on a motorcycle who recently became your friend, and demand to re-read the girl’s personal correspondence. However, we hope you yourself are not on the same path with pathological jealous people.

And if you are uncontrollably jealous (to such an extent that you cannot refuse to secretly read correspondence and count the likes that your lover has given to other girls), it is better to consult a psychologist. Because no matter who you build a relationship with, a man cannot simply disappear from virtual society.

First love sometimes comes back

When you remember the whirlwind of emotions at 16-18 years old - wow, your heart is pounding! What about at home? At home - gray everyday life. And you begin to doubt: what if you haven’t lived at all all these years? And so - you vegetated, waiting until fate again confronted you with the first and only. And the fact that he is also married is a mistake of his youth or a marriage out of obligation, out of necessity.

Against the backdrop of such an emotional outburst, people can do great stupid things, confusing passion and memories with real feelings, destroying families and receiving only a candy wrapper from a candy called “love”, which you both happily savored and ate many years ago.

However, if your marriage is built on trust and mutual support, it is unlikely that you (or your significant other) will want to experience such a temptation. Why do we need a piece of the past if everything in the present is so good and harmonious?

Devastating statistics

It’s sad, but when conducting sociological studies, 80% of people admit that they would rather confide in and talk about intimate or painful things with online friends, rather than with their husband or wife. This is the basis for family conflicts.

According to the same statistics, every second inhabitant of planet Earth already has an account on at least one social network. In 2015, the management of the VKontakte resource announced the average daily traffic to the site - 43 million people. That is, a quarter of the population of Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and other CIS countries spends their free (and often working) time on social networks every day. When can you communicate with your family?

2. How far am I willing to go with online strangers?

Your clear understanding of your own motives will help you avoid getting into an unpleasant situation.

Even if there are currently scandals, disagreements or banal fatigue from each other in your family, do not rush headlong into the pool. Virtual communication creates the appearance that your opinion is valued and you are understood perfectly, but this is only a parallel reality. It’s not for nothing that you decided to share your life with the person with whom you live under the same roof - it means that communication with him inspired and motivated you. All that remains is to bring back these intimate conversations.

If you have already started communicating on social networks with your first love, sensibly assess your true motives. To satisfy simple curiosity (how life turned out), text communication is enough. But if you feel the desire to meet in person, it’s worth thinking about: perhaps not everything is going well in your own family if you are looking for a substitute to receive positive emotions. In this case, it is better to refuse the meeting and sort out family problems. Together with your other half.

Based on this, research scientists note that social networks such as Twitter, Facebook, Odnoklassniki and the WhatsApp messenger can both unite spouses and cause their divorce.

The number of users of social networks and instant messengers is growing in Kyrgyzstan. Psychologists note that along with this, the number of young married couples turning to them because of problems related to social networks is also growing.

According to the National Statistical Committee, 70% of the population of Kyrgyzstan has access to the Internet, and the number of users of the World Wide Web has already exceeded 4 million. Most of them use the Internet to access social networks.

For example, to Facebook, which has become an open platform for representatives of all ages. Everyone - from schoolchildren and students to famous politicians - talk about their personal lives and share photographs on their pages. Psychologists fear that the abuse of social networks can negate the skills of direct communication between people, the ability to build real, rather than virtual, relationships.

Most clients of the British law firm Slater and Gordon Lawyers specifically cited social networks as the reason for their divorces. A social survey conducted by this organization showed that every seventh respondent was thinking about divorce due to the fact that they preferred to spend a lot of time on social networks. 25% of married couples responded that they quarrel over social networks at least once a week, and 60% of respondents noted that they know their spouses’ passwords and try to control who they communicate with in the virtual space. In the age of globalization, this problem has not escaped Kyrgyzstan.

Psychologist at one of the private clinics in Bishkek Samat Aalkanov said that the number of young people who have become dependent on the Internet and social networks is growing rapidly:

- If you look around, you can see that many people around us have profiles in several resources at once. These people are spending more and more time on social networks.

For example, the cause of a quarrel Altynai I started communicating with my husband on M-Agent:

- My husband worked in a kindergarten. One day, when he was sleeping, I checked his phone and saw that he was communicating with a young girl on this network, complimenting her. Our first quarrel happened because of this. I then woke up my husband and scolded him for not giving me, the mother of his three children, the same compliments that he gives to a girl he barely knows. Our son was only 5 months old at the time. My husband got angry and beat me for going through his phone.

M-Agent, which was popular in Kyrgyzstan even before Facebook and Twitter, brought discord into family life and Zhazgul:

- One day my husband saw that I was communicating in«​ Agent»​ with a classmate. I answered his questions, we talked openly, there was nothing to hide. But my husband became jealous of my interlocutor, and our relationship deteriorated, we stopped talking. They gave each other time so as not to destroy the family over trifles. Later, I saw on his phone a correspondence with either an ex-girlfriend or a classmate. I remained silent, deciding that he probably decided to take revenge on me in this way.

Psychologist Aalkanov notes that many married couples visit social networks to avoid domestic problems or level them out:

- Visitors to social networks seem to be transported to another reality. They can create a different image of themselves there by publishing posts with flowers, a happy family, a good job. They return to real life, and there are problems. People are forced to seek solace in an imaginary space. Therefore, social networks can be called a cure for real problems. But these are psychological holes; problems cannot be solved through social networks.

In my practice, I have encountered the problem of social networks in many families. Spouses try to control each other, check whether their other half accesses the Internet, online resources or not, when was the last time they visited. There is no trust between spouses. Therefore, we must learn to trust not only ourselves, but also our other half. We need to think about why it is more interesting for a husband or wife to communicate with someone on the Internet and spend most of their time in the virtual world. Newlyweds, girls-boyfriends, unmarried couples and 10-year-old couples come to us. Among them there are many who admit that they are jealous and feel bad because their significant other is secretly communicating with someone on a social network. Sometimes they say that they decided together and deleted their accounts at once, but then their spouse restored them again. Several times couples told me that they had a fight with their significant other, went to different rooms, and then... corresponded on social networks with others.

The examples given by the psychologist do not indicate that such phenomena are present in every family. The doctor notes that everything depends on the people themselves.

TV presenter, active Instagram user Nurayim Ryskulova, who has 3.5 thousand friends on Facebook and more than 7 thousand readers on Twitter, says that she has never had a conflict with her husband over social networks:

- He, one might say, actively uses Instagram and Facebook. We have a rule at home: during joint events, meals, and communication, we try not to use the phone. We enjoy live communication. I ask my husband for advice on a topic I am writing about.

I think that everything depends on the people themselves. Of course, there are a lot of interesting and not so interesting photos of other users on social networks. If people got married loving each other, then it doesn’t matter so much where your other half sits.

Despite this, some religious men prohibit their wives and children from purchasing phones with Internet access and from using WhatsApp. Such agitation is openly carried out during various meetings.

Earlier, Azattyk published a story by a resident of the Murghab district of Tajikistan Gulkayir about a young girl who met a man through Mail Agent. The couple communicated via messenger and agreed on a wedding, but the girl’s interlocutor turned out to be far from who he said he was.

A lot of humorous videos and clips have been shot recently about people addicted to Internet communication and social networks. However, we must admit that social networks have become the most convenient way to find out and convey information.

Translation from Kyrgyz language, original article

Sasha again began to receive links to those dating sites where I registered hundreds of years ago, I don’t remember how, I didn’t even remember the passwords for them for a hundred years. Well, in general, it wasn’t very pleasant either. It’s good that Sasha is like that, we sat down and deleted all the pages of this kind.

I just don’t understand who needs this, what kind of interest there is. bring out all sorts of dirt, pull people. The two will figure it out on their own, and if there is something secret, it will still come to light.

More and more Russians are getting divorced because of social networks

“As we see, a very specific betrayal has exactly the same chance of destroying a family as the active participation of one of the spouses in the life of social networks. And this despite the fact that only 5% of close virtual acquaintances end in a real romance, experts note. “Note: just an affair, not marriage.”

By the way, as Amitel news agency previously reported, most decisions on divorces are made after the New Year celebrations.

How they cheat you out of money on social networks or let’s talk a little about Trojans

I'll explain it quite simply. Having picked up a Trojan somewhere, you, unsuspectingly, go to your page (you think that you are going to your page), where you enter your name and password, thus safely giving it to the attacker. Next, you will receive a message about the temporary freezing of the page or something like that:

Account validation.

My husband divorced my friend because of social networks

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Communication on social media networks leads to divorce.

The leading specialist of the committee, Elena Shevtsova, believes that she cannot judge the connection between the growing popularity of social networks and the increase in the number of divorces simply because the causes of divorces are not studied by the department. “But still, it seems to me that the problems leading to divorce lie on a different plane,” she concluded.

Social networks are the reason for 45% of divorces

At the same time, the vast majority of users do not provide truthful information about their marital status, which ultimately becomes a reason for flirting.

Family problems due to social networks

There are five main reasons after which family life goes downhill. Firstly, many men and women do not advertise that they are married. They set the status to single instead of married, do not post photos with an engaged person, add friends unknown to their wife (husband), and join dating groups.

Divorce due to social networks

Last week, the news released by the American College of Marriage Lawyers was very interesting. According to research by this organization, over the past five years, 81% of its members have used evidence collected on social networks in one way or another during divorce proceedings. Of course, the indicator is not very good in terms of demonstrating how high the likelihood of divorce is for one particular family due to the behavior of spouses on a social network, but the figure still shows that the problem has long gone beyond the category of isolated cases.

Psychology Forum