Tajik customs and traditions. Tajik wedding - traditions and customs Wedding script in Tajik language
A wedding is one of the most important moments in the life of every Tajik. Weddings are usually celebrated in a grand, solemn and collective manner. As usual, even before the celebrations begin, relatives gather in the house where the celebrations are to take place. Whether in a distant village or in a city, all people rejoice when neighbors have weddings planned and prepare for them with the whole village, street, house, entrance, etc. The fact is that according to Tajik customs, neighbors and relatives should participate in numerous mini-celebrations in preparation for the wedding. It is believed that jointly made decisions regarding upcoming celebrations, the participation of neighbors and relatives in making baked goods and sweets, is a good deed and celebrations in this regard will be filled with blessings and grace. Every relative and neighbor considers it their duty to help at their neighbor’s wedding, working physically or simply morally supporting those who have such a holiday coming up.
A large amount of money is spent on a wedding. As a rule, money for the wedding is collected by close relatives of the groom and even the bride, and many also take out a wedding loan. The money goes mainly to richly furnished tablecloths-dastarkhans, since Tajiks, along with other peoples of Central Asia, are very hospitable and are happy to have both close and not quite familiar guests come to the wedding. Everyone needs to be fed to the full, and also entertained with music and dance. Due to the large costs required to organize a wedding, we remind you that in Mol Bulak you can get a loan for a wedding.
Types of wedding celebrations in Tajikistan
Basically, three types of weddings can be distinguished: a wedding celebrating the circumcision of a boy (khatna-tui), a wedding in the bride’s house (Tui arus) and a wedding in the groom’s house (tui domod), which will then result in a common marriage wedding. If you ask Tajiks which wedding is the most interesting, many will answer you that a wedding in honor of circumcision is the most solemn. 
The fact is that the onset of the first phase of male “maturity” and the passage of the first Muslim rite is a very important period in the life of the whole family, and at such weddings you can see not only a tablecloth-dastarkhan, bursting with food, music, dancing, fun and games, but also national sports competitions. These are goat wrestling (buzkashi) and national wrestling - gushti; according to tradition, very expensive prizes, cars, horses, carpets, etc. await the winners.
Wedding of the bride and groom
The wedding of the bride and groom, in the house of each of them, in the old days was celebrated for 7 days and nights, and if we take into account that wedding celebrations begin with the engagement, then there is the transfer of the bride price, the nikah ritual (Muslim betrothal) and other small and large rituals, then the marriage the wedding may actually last more than a month. In addition to all this, in each region of Tajikistan, the bride and groom have special clothes that distinguish one region from another. Tajiks living abroad try to adhere to their wedding traditions, both in observing customs and clothing, such as this couple in the photo, who got married in the USA.
The Pamirs are located on the territory of Tajikistan in Central Asia. The mountainous regions of the Pamirs are significantly removed from civilization, so the peoples living here are not as modern as, for example, all Tajik laws are observed in the Pamirs. People here are incredibly religious, they revere their ancestors and observe laws. Tajikistan is a Muslim country with its own culture. The national values of Tajiks are not close to modern Russians, but they are interesting and curious. It is especially interesting to study the culture of traditional weddings.
A Pamir wedding is a significant event for everyone in the area. As the Tajiks themselves say, a wedding is a holiday, first of all, for the guests, for the bride and groom, the meaning of the wedding is a little different. begins with the selection of the bride to the groom. Often, matchmaking occurs already in infancy and is called “govorabakhsh”. Young girls and boys were married either by their parents or by matchmakers. According to tradition, before the wedding, the bride and groom cannot even talk and get to know each other better. As the story goes, the younger the bride, the better. At a fairly early age, a young girl who has not married is considered an “old maid.” A Pamir wedding is not much different from the wedding of other Muslims. Here the bride also prepares her dowry in advance, packed in 2 chests. Her mother, sisters, grandmothers and aunties help her with this. Women from the clan sew blankets, pillows and other bedding for newlyweds, believing that with their prayers and work they will help maintain happiness in marriage. Also, the bedspread woven by the aunts protects the newlyweds from the evil eye and evil spirits. At this time, the groom must prepare a ransom (kalym) for the bride.
A Pamir wedding, like any other, requires thorough preparation. Decorating tables for a wedding, preparing food, and decorating the halls falls entirely on the shoulders of relatives. Any wedding is an expensive affair. In Tajikistan, it is customary to party in grand style, inviting hundreds of guests, musicians and chefs. A traditional Tajik treat is pilaf, prepared according to a special recipe. Richer people book restaurants where they invite a good thousand relatives, while those who cannot afford luxury organize a celebration right on the street. As mentioned above, a wedding is a holiday for guests. At this time, the bride and her friends go behind the curtain, where they will spend almost the entire evening. The bride puts on a burqa. According to tradition, it is customary that tables are set for men and women separately, and at exactly 9 pm the fun stops. Also, “prohibition” has been introduced in the Pamirs, so instead of alcohol, guests and newlyweds drink tea. In truth, a Pamir wedding is the most sober wedding in the world. Speaking about what can and cannot be given as a wedding gift, it is worth noting that Muslim laws are quite democratic in this regard. Relatives and parents give young people cars and houses. It is not customary to save money at a wedding. The gift should be useful, necessary in everyday life and not cheap, because you, like other guests, are preparing the newlyweds for independent family life.
Residents of the Pamirs are hospitable and sincere people. They honor and respect both their own traditions and the traditions of other peoples. Traditional weddings are still popular in Tajikistan, but people do not lag behind the modern world. Here, as in other countries, the services of toastmasters, singers and artists who can entertain guests on this joyful day are popular. The relatives of the young couple please the guests in every possible way, feed and water them. The fun here can last for more than one day, because weddings don’t happen very often. Grooms in the Pamirs are noble, and brides are in no way inferior to men. As a rule, even if they have not known each other before, newlyweds get along well and have been happily married for decades.
Getting married and having at least two children is the dream of every woman from Tajikistan. But before becoming a happy wife and mother, they have to go a long way.
In many Tajik families, parents begin to prepare for the wedding celebrations of their children long before the wedding itself, often immediately after the children are born. From their birth, parents, worrying about the happiest and most long-awaited day, begin to collect a dowry for their daughter and think about bride price for their son. Despite difficult times and poverty (more than half of Tajiks live below poverty), residents of the country try to observe the basic traditions and rules of wedding events.
Patriarchal traditions are strong in Tajikistan; young people are still not independent in choosing their other half. Finding a life partner, as in the old days, is a matter for the entire family, clan and even community. Gathering in a teahouse or at some event, the elders discuss which of the young people is about to get married. Suitable candidates can be proposed here. Then the information spreads further by word of mouth, and messengers from the grooms' families begin to contact the parents of potential brides.
Today, new technologies have come to the aid of those looking for a second half - dating sites, social networks, instant messengers. True, Tajiks are still wary of dating in the virtual space, giving preference to firmly rooted national traditions.
At the same time, in Tajikistan there are more and more young people whose parents agree to waive the bride price - once a mandatory condition for a wedding, and in cities they refuse the ransom. But the demand for dowries remains. Admirers of traditions are confident that the ancient heritage has practical benefits; thanks to adults, couples entering independent life are less dependent on circumstances and more prepared for real everyday life. Opponents of pomp believe that wedding expenses become a burdensome burden, because of which Tajiks, trying to celebrate on a grand scale, go into debt and leave to work. 
Several years ago, the Tajik authorities adopted a law to streamline national customs, celebrations and rituals. The new law strictly outlines the rules and requirements for those who are about to have a wedding or perform ritual ceremonies. The authorities strongly recommend that citizens reduce expenses for religious ceremonies and weddings, as well as divide wedding expenses between the families of the bride and groom.
Young people must have medical records with timely examinations by doctors and not have hidden diseases. The law also regulates the time of celebrations, the number of invited guests, the number of refreshments and the celebrations themselves. Bride shows, hen and stag parties, as well as memorial gatherings common in Tajikistan every 20 days, every Thursday, and other similar events have been completely cancelled. Now the celebration should be celebrated on weekends from 8:00 to 22:00 and on weekdays from 18:00 to 22:00. The duration of the wedding celebration is set to three hours. 
Any Tajik matchmaker knows where to go in search of brides. First of all, they are looking at girls - students of universities and secondary specialized educational institutions. Using the example of the city of Khujand, traditionally, in the unspoken popular ranking, the most sought-after and popular place for choosing brides is the Faculty of Tajik Philology, followed by the Faculty of Foreign Languages of KSU. In third place is the Khujand Medical College, followed by the Khujand branches of the Tajik Technological University and the State University of Commerce. 
Everything has been thought out for a long time. Those who do not have great ambitions and career plans for the future come to the Faculty of Philology. Such daughters-in-law are expected to work in schools or be good housewives and be able to raise children properly. On the contrary, the Faculty of Foreign Languages is mainly attended by those who count on career growth - rich families and those whose sons study or live abroad are looking for brides here. Those who also have doctors in their families are often drawn to medical college. The other two universities come for brides from wealthy families, those who want to have not only a housewife at home, but also an educated person who can bring income to the family.
The financial issue also plays a role here. Many girls study on a contractual basis. The cost of the contract in the first three educational institutions is relatively low. The groom's families also take this factor into account and adjust it to their financial capabilities, since the burden of paying for their daughter-in-law's education will fall on their shoulders. Matchmakers ask teachers about this or that girl - how modest, well-mannered, and polite she is. In terms of appearance, the criteria are as follows: they ask for white (that is, white-skinned), slim, tall, handsome or pretty, with long black hair. Nowadays girls with exactly these signs are in demand. And so that the potential bride is from the city.
In villages where almost everyone knows each other, it is easier to find a future daughter-in-law. And the villagers have fewer demands. Previously, the girl’s parents did not ask her if she agreed to marry such and such a guy. Now the rules have become a little more democratic: before the engagement ceremony, young couples are given the opportunity to meet and get to know each other better. However, the upbringing of rural girls often does not allow them to contradict the choice of their parents, and in order not to upset them, daughters agree to marry an unloved person. Sometimes parental pressure leads to tragedies.
Often the main criterion for choosing a future wife is a rich dowry. The larger it is, the higher the “demand” for the bride and, accordingly, the more applicants for her hand and heart. The lack of a dowry, the modesty of gifts or the size of offerings can cause scandals. Now Tajik grooms choose rich brides. Wealth helps to survive economic turmoil in the future. The man cannot find a job, but the bride came to the house wealthy, and also hard-working. There are often cases when men are unemployed and their wives are working.
Traditions put a lot of pressure on people; there are many unnecessary conventions. Tajiks continue not to look for a woman and a mistress, but bring into the house an assistant, a maid, who is obliged to earn back the money spent on her. According to tradition, the bride's dowry is put on display so that guests can see the valuables that the bride and groom received after the wedding.
In Tajikistan, every family still knows which clan they are descendants of. In pre-Soviet times, several large clan estates developed here, whose representatives considered themselves noble: Oya (Tura, Khon), Mirzo, Khuja. Moreover, they are considered the most noble. All the rest, who were classified as lower strata of society, were called omi. Literally until recent years, each clan was connected by family ties only with representatives of its own clan. A bride from a clan belonging to the Omi was chosen only in exceptional cases. In such marriages, the spouse had an advantage in resolving disputes and conflict situations, since he was from a higher class.
Daughters in families from the Oya class were never married to representatives of lower clans, considering this a kind of derogation. But in recent years, these stereotypes have begun to change. Now families, so to speak, of “noble origin” are making concessions. Representatives of Omi have also recently become wealthy, many occupy high positions. This makes you “forget” about belonging to a clan. After all, one of the main goals pursued when choosing a bride or groom was and is to preserve and increase family wealth, money, and real estate. And if earlier marriages were concluded for this purpose even between first and second cousins, now the law prohibits consanguineous marriages.
In Tajikistan, public holidays such as Navruz or National Accord Day often coincide with mass weddings for couples from low-income groups. They are supported by local authorities.
Tajik weddings were always celebrated in the bride's house.
Here they set the table, entertained and treated the guests, and it was here that the bride’s groom came.
He was supposed to stay for 3 days in the bride’s house, only then...
The peculiarity of the national wedding was that it was always celebrated only in the bride’s house. Here tables were set, guests were treated, and here the groom came to the bride. For three days he always stayed in the house of his future wife. Only then did the groom’s friends come and take him and the bride to their home.
According to tradition, newlyweds must live in the house of their spouse’s parents for the first year and only then can they move into their own.
Let's take a closer look at the wedding day. In the old days, it was divided into two stages: the morning one - in the bride's house and the later one - the evening celebration.
In the morning, the groom, along with his friends and relatives, accompanied by wonderful musicians, came to the girl’s house, where they were greeted and treated. The already dressed bride was waiting for her groom, surrounded by her friends.
In the bride’s house, all her outfits and “chimilik” were hung in a prominent place. At his side hung a wooden spoon, a knife and a hot red pepper. The knife symbolized a brave and courageous son; the spoon was supposed to “help” the owner’s daughter to be born, and the pepper protected the young couple from the evil eye. The “chimilik” binding was trusted only to happy couples who had lived a long life together in their first marriage.
The bride came out to the guests, accompanied by her friends, who held a beautiful gold-embroidered carpet over her head - a symbol of a happy “roof” in marriage. The bride was taken to the "chimilik". The groom entered there, accompanied by dancing friends, wearing a gold-embroidered robe - “chapan”. The parents read a prayer blessing the newlyweds, to which all those present joined.
Lighted candles were circled around the “chimilik”, where the bride and groom were already located, to ward off evil spirits. They brought honey to the young couple. The groom had to taste this honey himself and give it to the bride to taste the honey with his own hand, so that the future life of the young couple would be sweet.
The newlyweds were brought a mirror that they had never looked into before. In this mirror the couple had to look at each other. After this, the groom could put a watch or bracelet on the bride’s hand.
The time had come for the most important wedding ceremony - “nikoh”. It was traditionally conducted by a mullah, who stood the newlyweds in national clothes in front of him and read them special verses from the Koran.
During the reading, the mullah removed 7 scarves from the bride in turn, and the groom at that time, each time confirmed his consent to the marriage. After this, the young people drank the mullah’s charmed water from one cup, now this meant that the husband was obliged to protect and provide for his wife and children, and the wife was obliged to obey him in everything.
The spouses prepared carefully for Nikoh. During the week, they spent every evening in prayer and fasted. The groom was arranging the home so that the bride would be comfortable in her new home, while the bride was sewing wedding suits.
The bride wore the national costume even after marriage for 40 days. In modern wedding tradition, immediately after “nikoh”, the newlyweds, together with their guests and relatives, get into the car and go to register at the registry office. After the official marriage registration ceremony has taken place, they take a short walk, after which they head to the wedding feast.
Wedding feast 
The wedding feast at Tajik weddings lasts three days. The main decoration of the table is the national dish of the Tajiks - wedding pilaf. The Tajiks even have a legend about how once a Tajik man came to visit. He came and stayed. He didn’t even intend to leave, no matter what his owner treated him to! But as soon as he treated him to pilaf, the Tajik went home.
Not a single Tajik holiday is complete without Tajik pilaf; for them it is a whole song. They traditionally serve pilaf at the end of the wedding feast.
The feast is led by an elderly man who acts as a toastmaster - “baiderkhan”. He must be able to speak beautifully and figuratively, provide the opportunity to speak in turn to all guests and relatives, and pronounce parting words; at the right moment, give a signal for dancing, singing or a spectacular folk game.
The most popular wedding dance is the eagle dance. To the cheerful sounds of tambourines, the participants of the celebration take turns performing this dance to the delight of the guests and the newlyweds. No less popular are comic folk dances accompanied by live music.
There is traditionally a lot of singing at a wedding. The songs chosen are melodious and lyrical. They seem to be woven into the general “scenario” of the ceremony, bringing universal joy to the celebration. Particularly original are single-voice lyrical songs accompanied by stringed musical instruments.
Already on the third day, the “baiderkhan” must remove the veil from the bride’s head, only after that the newlyweds begin a new life.
The Tajik people carefully preserve and pass on marriage rites and rituals to the younger generation as part of the cultural heritage of their ancestors. Modern marriage includes traditions that have been maintained for centuries along with the current attributes of a Tajik wedding
Often parents or the oldest respected family members find a bride or groom for their beloved child. Sometimes young people can only learn about the choice of their elders a month before the wedding. Of course, there are more and more couples making independent choices, but the word of the parents and their blessing are still respected.
At the matchmaking ceremony, families get to know each other, the day of engagement and the size of the obligatory bride price are agreed upon. The next stage of a wedding according to Tajik customs is engagement. This is a more solemn ceremony, during which many beautiful “layli” trays are brought to the bride’s house. Their number must be even. Traditional gifts are laid out on the trays, each of which has its own symbolic meaning. On one of the trays intended for the bride, in addition to shoes, fabric for the dress and other things necessary for the girl, there should be a white scarf - a symbol of purity. Neighbors and relatives are invited to a tea party to share the good news that their daughter is being married off. The guest of honor must break the cake and read a prayer for the happiness of the newlyweds. The bride price is paid on the appointed day to the girl’s father, this is also accompanied by various rituals. The girl, in turn, puts the long-prepared dowry into two chests. All the women of the bride’s family help sew the dowry, while they read prayers, wish happiness to the newlyweds, sing and have fun. According to legend, this will protect a young family from the evil eye and help them have a prosperous and peaceful family life. An obligatory gift for a young couple for a Tajik wedding is an embroidered suzani bedspread. Each pattern on it has its own magical meaning.
On the wedding day, the groom goes to the bride's house in a chapan embroidered with gold thread, with friends and relatives, as well as musicians playing folk musical instruments. Friends bring the bride out in national dress, holding a carpet over her head. A young couple is escorted behind a chimilik blanket. Parents bless them, surround them with candles three times and treat them with honey to drive away evil spirits and wish a sweet and prosperous life for the new family.
It is time for the Muslim religious ceremony of Nikoh. It's like getting engaged. The mullah reads the Koran and, removing seven scarves from the bride, asks the guy seven times if he agrees to marry this girl. After this, the newlyweds drink from a bowl of holy water, cementing their union.
Now you can pay tribute to modern traditions and hold an official wedding. The most long-awaited festive evening “tui arusidomod” is coming, which used to be held in the bride’s house, and now more often in a restaurant.
The national wedding dress of a Tajik girl is always very colorful. The color and ornament of the dress depends on the region of residence. For example, Tajiks from the Pamirs dress up in dresses and trousers of traditional red and white colors and cover their heads with a scarf to protect themselves from the evil eye. If previously only guests had fun at a Tajik wedding, and the bride and groom were only modestly present at the celebration, now more and more often newlyweds dress up in modern suits and white fluffy dresses, and enjoy the holiday with everyone.
The main event in the life of a Tajik family, for which they prepare from the birth of children, the owners of the holiday strive to share with a huge number of relatives, friends, neighbors, acquaintances and colleagues. The oriental restaurant 'Caravan one' will create the atmosphere of a luxurious holiday in Asian style. For a larger number of guests, the Banquet hall "Lefort" is suitable. Up to four hundred guests will be able to have plenty of fun in the spacious, richly decorated hall. A Tajik wedding is when everyone is a guest from seven to seventy, when “everyone is dancing!”, songs alternate with toasts and congratulations, and on the table are favorite national dishes familiar from childhood. In the large banquet hall there is a huge dance floor, a stage for performances and a large selection of oriental dishes. Well-trained staff will help to hold a wedding celebration with oriental cordiality and attention to each guest. From the very beginning of the celebration to the very end, all those present will be enveloped in an atmosphere of hospitality, fun, beauty and pleasure.
